


Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

by Kimberly21570



Category: All My Children, Guiding Light, Lena & Bianca, Lianca - Fandom, Olivia & Natalia, Otalia - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29128800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimberly21570/pseuds/Kimberly21570
Summary: This story takes place during and after the conversation where Olivia is freaking out about Phillip’s return. I thought opening scene spoke volumes about the depth of their connection. Though I’ve changed some of the phrasing, most of the dialogue in the beginning of this piece is directly from the show (Again, no copyright infringement intended—I just wanted to stay true to the initial content of the scene because it was so beautifully scripted). Some of the other scenes that I’ve either incorporated, or merely referenced, are out of chronological order, but they seemed like a fun backdrop or they were necessary for a point I was trying to make, so I used them.   I’ve cut out a lot of the interruptions, and ultimately taken things in a different direction—one that I hope you all enjoy…
Relationships: Lena Kundera/Bianca Montgomery, Natalia Rivera/Olivia Spencer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Confessions of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters Olivia and Emma Spencer, Natalia and Rafe Rivera, Phillip Spaulding, Frank Cooper, and Gus/Nicky Aitoro are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble.
> 
> No copyright infringement intended with regard to Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, or any other entity. With the exception of dialogue from the 2.13.2009 and 2.16.2009 episodes of Guiding Light, the dialogue and story content in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply. 
> 
> The revised version of this Chapter has not been proofread. Thus, all errors are my own.
> 
> Rating: Chapter 1 is PG-13, but subsequent chapters will eventually reach NC-17

Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

Copyright May 2009

“[Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. ](http://thinkexist.com/quotation/deep_in_my_heart-i-m_concealing_things_that_i-m/8871.html)

[Scared to confess what I'm feeling—frightened you'll slip away.](http://thinkexist.com/quotation/deep_in_my_heart-i-m_concealing_things_that_i-m/8871.html)”

— From the Movie _Evita_

Chapter 1—Confessions of the Heart:

**_Olivia Spencer’s Bedroom, the Farmhouse of Love—Saturday, February 14, 2009, 9:15 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Olivia Spencer stood, bolted to the floor, fear and trepidation pulsing through her veins. Gone were the lighthearted laughter and free-spirited flutterings of a few moments prior, when she and her daughter Emma were making Valentines and chattering about tummies full of butterflies. She had blushed when her daughter asked if she knew “that feeling…” and she had confessed with a bashful smile that she knew it well, as she cast a sideways glance—one that lingered just a bit longer than was either necessary or safe—toward Natalia, the young woman with whom she shared both a home, and her daughter; the woman who had unwittingly stolen her heart.

In an instant, those delightful feather-like flutters had been replaced with the heaviness of boulders, sinking to the bottom of her stomach, as stark reality set in. Phillip Spaulding was back—and her little girl was in danger. Her borrowed heart pounded. Her thoughts raced, faster than her mind could translate; faster than her mouth could spew the words. Holed up in her bedroom with Natalia, she paced frantically, as she rambled, almost incoherently, about her psychotic ex-husband’s penchant for kidnapping her daughter, and about Natalia taking Emma away; hiding her from her father’s malevolent grasp.

And then there was something about a _gun_.

Natalia Rivera knew this woman well. Better, in fact, than she ever would have believed possible, given the earliest undercurrents of their rather curious acquaintance. Throughout the course of their tumultuous relationship, she had witnessed the very best—and the very worst—of Olivia Spencer. Not only had she witnessed this headstrong, passionate woman’s wrath toward others, she had often been the unfortunate target herself. She had witnessed an endless torrent of unrestrained fits of rage, caustic displays of blatant contempt, and myriad infantile temper tantrum, which oftentimes included random objects being strewn about the room. Even at her weakest, when her transplanted heart threatened to fail, Olivia Spencer had proven she was a force to be reckoned with, much to Natalia’s chagrin.

And sometimes, in moments when she had least expected it, Natalia had been the fortunate recipient of the most loving displays of tenderness and generosity she had ever known. She had experienced the highs and the lows. The joy and the tears. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly. The anger, the indifference, and ultimately, the love of Olivia Spencer. She thought she had witnessed every emotion imaginable—until now.

Olivia’s usual response to fear, was anger. The more fearful she became, the more obdurately her temper flared, and Natalia more than expected the news of Phillip’s return to evoke an absolute firestorm of unbridled rage within this volatile woman. But this—what she was witnessing in Olivia now, was nothing she would ever have expected. Nothing could have prepared her for this: The unraveling of Olivia Spencer…

Gone was the characteristically level-headed woman’s ability to rationalize and strategize. She was restless and agitated, as she briefly explained her history with Phillip; the catalyst for her current level of unconcealed fear. Agitation then rapidly revolved into uncontrollable panic, as she carried on about her ex-father-in-law blasting them for their living arrangement and his concern for her daughter, and how Phillip’s return was no coincidence. Then, her breathing turned ragged, as she lent voice to a conspiracy theory involving the two men and her little girl, and ultimately issued the barefaced threat to kill Phillip, if he ever came near her daughter again. 

Strangely, the threat had induced a deep sense of empathy for Olivia, more so than fear, in Natalia. Olivia, who was always so strong and self-assured, stood before her, quaking with fear, and Natalia’s heart ached for this woman who had so unwittingly become her closest friend, her trusted confidant, and so much more…

Olivia’s fierce protectiveness over Emma reminded Natalia of the reasons she loved this woman so deeply. Olivia Spencer was strong, spirited, powerful, and passionate; more passionate than anyone Natalia had ever known. But behind the veil, beyond what the rest of the world could see, Olivia was gentle, giving, loyal and loving—and never was she more loving than when it came to Emma. The little girl brought out emotions and behaviors in Olivia that only Natalia had witnessed, and therein formed the foundation of Natalia’s unwavering love for her.

Now Olivia was rambling, almost incoherently, rationality a forgotten notion, as she stammered and stumbled over her words.

Natalia watched, as Olivia, in a frenzy of broken thoughts and scrambled words, insisted that she needed to get Emma out of town, out of the country, then insisted that Natalia be the one to take her. When Olivia’s thoughts turned to the necessity of acquiring a gun, Natalia finally snapped into action, telling her frightened friend that she was “talking crazy…”

“I don’t know what to do… I don’t know what to do…” Olivia fussed, anxiously pounding clenched fists against dense air, as she fought back tears.

“Olivia! Stop it!” Natalia uncharacteristically commanded, her tone sharp, and laden with worry, as she raced to her friend, gently taking tightened fists into her hands, willing them to unwind.

Olivia’s hands relaxed at Natalia’s touch, instinctively melting into place.

“I know you’re scared, Olivia. You have every reason to be scared,” Natalia quietly sympathized. She paused for a moment, her dark eyes wordlessly urging Olivia to stay strong, “but you’re workin’ yourself up… and you’re gonna get sick… and you’re gonna scare your daughter,” she noted, disquiet clearly etched in her tone.

Olivia closed her eyes, drew in ragged breaths and swallowed hard, attempting to stifle the fear in her heart and the accompanying torrent of tears rising within her chest, as Natalia continued, “You’re too upset to make clear decisions right now. You’re just… you can’t think straight… So I’ll do it. You’re not goin’ anywhere,” she resolutely announced, eyebrows arched in emphasis. “You shouldn’t go anywhere,” she reiterated, vehemently shaking her head back and forth, eyes locked on Olivia’s. Then, in hushed tones, she offered her reason, “You have me—”

The sound of those three little words: You. Have. Me., crossing Natalia’s lips, was all Olivia needed to hear. The walls began to crumble, and she released the tears she had been so valiantly holding captive.

“Let me be strong… for you… Okay?” Natalia quietly encouraged, eyes transmitting strength to bolster this wounded heart. “I promise you we are not gonna let anything happen… to your little girl. Trust me…” she quietly entreated, the tips of her fingers lightly brushing Olivia’s cheek, as she reached her right hand out to brush wayward tendrils of perfectly highlighted chestnut locks from a tearstained face. Then, as her hand returned to hold Olivia’s, she quietly continued, “Take a deep breath… Trust me,” she implored, nodding her head in silent reiteration of her entreaty.

Olivia sniffed back tears and nodded her head in agreement, her gaze locked on Natalia’s dark eyes, as if they alone held the strength to sustain her. Moments passed, comfortable silence fusing the space between them, as Olivia dropped her gaze, focusing on the gentle hands that held her own, taking careful notice of how safe and loved she felt with even the most simple of touches from her closest friend.

“Look at me,” Natalia beseeched, hands never leaving their hold on Olivia’s.

The hotelier sniffed, bit her lower lip, and shook her head in hushed defiance.

“Look in my eyes,” Natalia insisted, eliciting compliance from Olivia, as she sniffed back more tears. “What do you see?”

Olivia allowed those beckoning mahogany eyes to draw her in again, and searching deeply, she quietly shared her heart. “Someone who’s strong…” she sniffed, “and loyal… Someone I can count on. Someone…” her words dissipated, as subsequent tears threatened to flow.

“Say it,” Natalia quietly encouraged, instinctively knowing the depths of Olivia’s heart. Despite the confusion she had been experiencing as she attempted to reconcile the deepest desires of her own heart with the values with which she had been raised, she offered a silent prayer to her Maker: _Please, Lord, let this be the moment_ , she petitioned, praying that Olivia would finally lend voice to the feelings she knew they both shared. 

“I can’t—” Olivia replied, shaking her head as she sniffed back the tears, certain that admitting her feelings would expose Natalia’s heart to a future teeming with inner conflict and pain. 

“Yes, you can,” Natalia confidently reassured, hands still firmly gripping Olivia’s, eyes still locked on her gaze, “you can… because I feel the same way.”

“You do?” Olivia exhaled. Confused by the seeming declaration, she was hopeful that Natalia would finally admit her true feelings, yet, simultaneously fearful that she might.

"I can trust you with my life,” Natalia quietly confessed, “and I hope… you feel you can do the same.”

“I do… I do… and—” words dissolving into air again.

“And what?” Natalia pressed.

“And… nothing…” Olivia answered, once again quelling her own feelings in deference to Natalia’s deeply-held beliefs and spiritual well-being.

Natalia nodded her head in understanding. Olivia wasn’t ready. “Okay,” she acquiesced.

She swallowed hard to abate the growing mass of disappointment rising in her chest, cleared her throat, and returned to the issue at hand. “This whole situation with Phillip,” she quietly sighed, “I just… I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t lose you, Olivia… I can’t lose someone else I lo—”

Stopping her confession midstream, tears began to flow.

Understanding Natalia’s pain, Olivia gently squeezed the hand that held her own, then reached out with her right hand to brush away the tears from the younger woman’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Natalia,” she whimpered, eyes downcast.

“Sorry for wha—” Natalia attempted to inquire.

“Let me finish,” Olivia interrupted, halting the inquiry with the deliberate placement of two gentle fingers across Natalia’s lips. The fingers lingered there, lightly brushing those soft lips before reluctantly taking their leave.

Natalia nodded, allowing Olivia to resume. “I’m sorry Gus had to die, so that I could live,” she quietly explained, whispers riddled with guilt. Then, swallowing hard to gain resolve, she continued, “He’s gone now, and… no matter what I do, I can’t change that. But I can promise you I’m not going anywhere,” she assured, smiling softly through tear-filled eyes.

“You were there for me during my darkest hours. You fought so hard to keep me alive, when all I wanted was to die. And I’m so thankful that you did,” she acknowledged, genuine gratitude engraved in her tone. “I don’t think I ever told you that,” she shamefully recognized. “I’ll never understand why… you fought so valiantly for me,” she whispered through tears. “I was such a Bitch to you…”

Knowing full-well that, considering this was Olivia, her choice of language could have been significantly more objectionable, Natalia ignored the vulgarity, instead, choosing to focus on the vulnerability she found in the hotelier’s deep jade eyes. “You were hurting,” she replied softly.

“I was pissed off,” Olivia argued, taken aback by the force of her own response.

“No— you were hurting,” Natalia insisted, again ignoring the vulgarity. “Your anger was just a cover for the hurt and confusion and guilt you were feeling, because Gus was gone, and… you were alive, and… it didn’t make sense to you.”

“And just when the hell did you become an expert on my feelings?” Olivia barked, jerking her hands away from Natalia’s, and turning to face the window. Threatened by the exposure of her deepest-held vulnerabilities, Olivia wrapped her arms around herself, forming a physical barricade around her heart.

Natalia watched her intently, instinctively allowing her time for the anger to subside, and rationality to return.

Olivia fumed, though she was decidedly more infuriated with herself than with Natalia. Vulnerability pissed her off. Truth be told, she was so pissed that she really wanted to say fuck— but still, she respected Natalia, and consciously held back in an effort to honor the other woman’s beliefs. It was during such times as this that she felt most confused—Never had she found need for an edit button in the past. She said what was on her mind, regardless of the consequences— _No One_ stifled Olivia Spencer.

Until now.

Until this woman.

But why _this_ woman? She was, in no uncertain terms, the veritable embodiment of the anti-Olivia Spencer. Why now? With the exception of her daughters, Olivia had lived her entire life, never lending credence to the needs, desires, values, or concerns of others. And why did being vulnerable, especially with Natalia, still threaten her at times? She sighed and dropped her head in silent surrender.

Natalia approached her from behind, and wrapping strong, supportive arms around Olivia’s waist, she rested her head against the taller woman’s shoulder.

Olivia, having softened a bit after her ruminations, allowed herself to relax into Natalia’s embrace. A singular question simultaneously passed through two minds: Why does this… the two of us together… holding one another… feel so safe, so right? 

“Hey—,” Natalia whispered, extracting Olivia from her pensive state, as she calmly coaxed her to turn around. Once Olivia was facing her again, she reached out her right hand, softly caressing the hotelier’s cheek. “You’re safe with me,” she gently reminded.

Olivia nodded her head, reveling in the sensation of Natalia’s hand on her cheek. “I know—,” she quietly replied. “I’m sorry—”

“There’s no need for apology,” Natalia replied. “I understand how difficult it is for you to show your vulnerabilities, even with me,” she whispered understandingly.

“I shouldn’t be so guarded with you,” Olivia answered, closing her eyes as she pressed her face against that gentle hand. “I know my heart is safe with you.”

Natalia gingerly pulled Olivia into her arms, right hand planted firmly against the small of the taller woman’s back, fingers of her left hand instinctively tangled in soft locks, gently caressing the back of her head, as she offered comfort. “It always has been… and it always will be,” she whispered in promise, knowing full-well that Olivia would understand the double entendre embedded in her choice of words.

“I know—,” Olivia quietly acknowledged, dissolving into the warmth of Natalia’s embrace, burying her face in the tangled curtain of deep brunette locks that cascaded down Natalia’s neck, breathing deeply as she allowed the younger woman’s tranquil demeanor to calm her.

 _You always smell of honeysuckle and vanilla_ , she reveled, drawing in the sweet, familiar scent of the younger woman’s skin and hair.

Then, her other sensory processes taking over, she was suddenly acutely aware of the pleasant sensation of Natalia’s body pressed firmly against her own. She drew in another deep breath, savoring the closeness, then, in an attempt to stave off her growing desire and impending unrest, she whispered, “You were right, you know…”

“’bout what?” Natalia queried, withdrawing from their embrace to search the hotelier’s face.

“About how I was feeling when Gus died… the guilt,” she quietly admitted, tears beginning to flow again. “I just don’t understand why,” she cried softly.

“Why what, Olivia?” Natalia gently pressed.

“Why you fought so hard to keep me alive,” Olivia explained, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t want to live, Natalia—didn’t deserve to live.”

Natalia reached out with her right hand, tenderly wiping away the hotelier’s tears. “Don’t say that, Olivia,” she quietly instructed, shaking her head back and forth.

“But it’s true,” Olivia tearfully rejoined. “Gus is the one who deserved to live, and you deserved a happy ending with him.”

Tears welling up in dark eyes, Natalia wordlessly searched Olivia’s face, as a myriad of conflicting thoughts and emotions ransacked her mind. She loved Gus. Had loved him all her life, and still missed him at times—especially when she considered Rafe, and all he that he had missed with his father. But she was no longer lonely for him—didn’t long for his touch anymore. No—Somewhere along the line that had changed, and someone new now inhabited that place in her heart—it was someone else’s touch for which she yearned day and night; someone else’s whispers she longed to hear. Someone named Olivia Spencer. The notion simultaneously confused, and comforted her; frightened, and excited her… each new impulse triggering a corresponding expression to blanket her delicate features.

Olivia studied the other woman intently, wondering at the underlying thoughts that caused her facial expressions to so rapidly change. “Natalia?” she quietly called, not wanting to startle her.

“Huh?” Natalia absentmindedly responded, shaking her head as she emerged from her trance-like state.

”Are you okay?” Olivia inquired, concern etched in her soft tone.

“Oh… Yes, I’m fine,” she fibbed. “Just… lost in thought for a moment.”

“Care to share?” Olivia invited, longing to be there for Natalia, just as the other woman had always been for her.

“I think I just needed a moment to process things,” Natalia responded, telling a half-truth. She swallowed hard and drew in a deep breath, gathering courage. “Here’s the thing…” she began, a deep sigh escaping her lips, “I loved Gus… I always will,” she declared. “But… he’s gone now, Olivia… and no amount of prayers or faith will ever bring him back. He’s gone… forever, but… you’re here with me, and… I wouldn’t trade the life we share…” she paused, voice pierced with tears, “for anything…”

“Well who says you have to trade it?” Olivia asked rhetorically, bending her knees slightly to reach eye level with Natalia as she cupped a tearstained face between tender hands, gently caressing her cheeks.

Searching dark eyes that stared into hers, Olivia’s resolve cracked a tiny bit more, as her heart swelled with tender affection for this priceless treasure of a woman. “I promised you… I’m not going anywhere,” she firmly reassured, emphasizing her words with a firm shake of her head. “As much as I wanted to die when this all began… I want to live even more… now that I have you in my life. I— I’ve never—” she stammered, “had anything like this before… Never known anyone as decent and kind and warm… and beautiful… as you—God, you’re beautiful, Natalia,” she exhaled, her breath like a whispered prayer, thoughts momentarily diverted by the sundry wave of unabashed adoration and desire that unexpectedly washed over her, “beautiful… inside and out… and I’ve never—”

Her throat ran dry, like an antiquated spring during a drought, rendering her unable to speak as her mind raced to reconcile conflicting emotions. Never had these two emotional states collided within her before. She adored her daughters, and yes, she had desired men; though certainly none recently. But never had she experienced the merging of the two… until now.

Until Natalia.

Two sets of eyes locked, each searching the other, and without a moment’s thought, Natalia moved in, placing her hands on Olivia’s hips as she closed the already minuscule space between them. “You’ve never… what, Olivia?” she gently prodded.

Acutely aware of their close proximity, and of Natalia’s hands planted firmly on her hips, Olivia swallowed hard, her throat like sandpaper, as the sweet tension between them reached an as-yet unparalleled peak. “I’ve always defined myself by my ability to conquer men,” she began, taking the long way around the issue, “by being desirable to men. And—I liked having that power over them… I still do,” she admitted candidly.

She dropped Natalia’s gaze for a moment, breathing deeply to regain her composure before locking eyes with the other woman again, and continuing, “But now I have these feelings that… I’ve never had before,” she confessed, eyes widening, as a nervous laugh escaped her burning lungs. “Feelings that I don’t know what to do with… I just… I don’t know who I am anymore, Natalia,” she admitted, sounding as though she was about to cry again, as she dropped her head, chestnut curls cascading across her face. 

Natalia allowed her the moment, as she studied her carefully, noting the softness of the rose-tinted blouse the hotelier was wearing—how it brought out the natural hues in her silken skin, how it caressed her body in all the right places, in all the right ways, then cascaded down her torso in perfect waves. In sharp contrast to the designer power suits she was accustomed to seeing Olivia wear, this attire softened her features, changed the light in her eyes from the flash of a corporate “mongrel,” as Emma had misguidedly called her, to the glow of woman who was genuinely happy and completely content in the life with which she had been blessed.

While Natalia had to admit to herself that she found the sight of Olivia, coifed in an Armani suit, jade eyes flashing as she berated an opponent or commanded compliance from her staff and colleagues, completely intoxicating, she was also intoxicated by this softer side of this woman—the side that, until these past few months, had only seemed to emerge with Emma, and now, emerged with her. A new-found appreciation swept over her as she acknowledged Olivia’s ability to balance her corporate persona with the woman she was becoming. She reached out her right hand, tipping Olivia’s chin. “Hey—” she whispered, capturing Olivia’s attention as she gently swept back silky chestnut tendrils, before cradling the hotelier’s face in her palm, “the woman you are now… is exactly the woman you are meant to be, Olivia. And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

In that moment she knew, beyond all doubt, that though still unspoken, Natalia was finally professing her love. Jade eyes darkened as tears gathered, threatening to brim over. “The fact that you would have me at all, it takes my breath away, Natalia,” she exhaled, knowing it was safe now, to reveal long-hidden truths. “I think about you… about _us_ … constantly,” she quietly confessed, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

“We get each other, Natalia. We… we click… on levels I never even knew existed. And I love that about us,” she breathed, “but… as much as I want and need what we share together, it scares the hell out of me.”

“And you think this doesn’t scare me?” Natalia replied, more a statement than a question. ”You are all I think about, Olivia. You… and Emma,” she whispered softly.

Pausing, Natalia attempted to quell the wave of nervous excitement rushing through her veins, as she prepared to reveal her long-denied truth. “Whenever I’m away from you, all I wanna do is just come back here. I wanna come back to our home, and just… _be_ with you,” she confessed. “You can make me so angry, Olivia… I mean, no one pushes my buttons the way you do. You make me completely crazy, Woman!” she laughed brightly through her tears, knowing how much she reveled in that Olivia-induced kind of crazy. It was intoxicating, like a fine wine, and Natalia wanted nothing more than to drown in it. “But you also make me laugh, and… you make me happy,” she admitted, voice softening. “I don’t know what to do with that, Olivia,” she explained, tears streaming down her cheeks, “but I do know that I don’t ever want these feelings to change.”

“Oh, thank God you understand,” Olivia breathed, a deep sigh of relief escaping heavy lungs. She flashed that shy, yet irresistibly sexy smile, as she drew Natalia closer against her body, reaching out, cradling a tearstained cheek with her right hand, she searched Natalia’s dark eyes. “Somewhere between overdosing on homemade cookies… and bickering about wall hangings and Christmas decorations… I fell in love with you, Natalia,” she whispered through joyful tears.

The tiny flecks of gold in Natalia’s eyes shone brightly through her tears as she acknowledged Olivia’s declarations. “I know you love me, Olivia,” she breathed, nodding her head to seal the admission. “I think I’ve known for a long time, but… I was confused, and… afraid… so I changed the subject… or picked fights with you, to avoid the conversation,” she confessed, apology engraved in her tone.

“I know—,” Olivia whispered, voice free of any accusation.

“Yeah—,” Natalia blurted, embarrassed by her lack of maturity.

“It’s okay, Natalia,” Olivia reassured.

“No. No, actually, it isn’t,” Natalia argued firmly, shaking her head in adamant disagreement. “I knew it was there between us… long before Emma’s presentation, and… I fought it… because I was scared… because those kinds of feelings, they can’t exist in my world.”

Olivia nodded her head, signaling her understanding. “I know how much your faith means to you,” she whispered, “and I can’t even begin to comprehend how difficult this struggle must be for you.”

Natalia sighed heavily. "I won’t lie to you, Olivia—it has been difficult. That’s why I fought it for so long,” she openly confessed.

“And now?” Olivia anxiously queried, searching Natalia’s eyes in hopes of collecting a clue as to her impending response.

“And now—” Natalia began, considering her response carefully, “Now I’ve made my peace with God, and it isn’t a struggle anymore.”

Olivia exhaled a sigh of relief, yet, still, she wasn’t completely satisfied that all was well. “How is that possible?” she inquired.

Natalia quietly considered the transformation she had experienced and realized she couldn’t offer explanation even if she tried. “I don’t even know when it happened, Olivia,” she sighed, abandoning all attempts at reason, “when the idea of us being Emma’s ‘two mommies,’ with everything that entails, changed… from being threatening to… to being everything I want, the only thing I need. All I do know… is that I love you, Olivia Spencer. I love you with everything in me.”

“Have you any idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?” Olivia grinned, no longer able to hold at bay, the smile that had played on her lips during Natalia’s avowal.

“Ohhh, I think I have some idea,” Natalia laughed lightly, rewarding Olivia with one of those dimpled smiles.

“Stop it!” Olivia laughed, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

“Well—I’m just sayin’,” Natalia grinned, casting Olivia a flirty sideways glance.

Olivia offered a sexy smile in return, eyes locked on Natalia’s. “So… where do we go from here?” she asked, voice so thick and alluring that Natalia thought she would explode from the mere resonance.

Neither of them could offer a definitive response, a fact which left them in a state of anxious excitement. Two hearts raced in anticipation, as Natalia drew Olivia back into her embrace. She inhaled a deep breath, gazing up at the taller woman, eyes alight with adoration. “I love you, Olivia, and… I wanna be with you, live here… in this house, raising Emma with you… no matter the cost,” she declared. “Rafe will be home soon,” she said optimistically, “and as long as the three of you are here with me, healthy and safe, I don’t need anything else.”

“Are you certain?” Olivia quietly asked, allowing Natalia the courtesy of a final escape if she so desired.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” Natalia whispered confidently.

A triumphant smile spread across Olivia’s lips, illuminating her entire face, as she leaned in, nuzzling against Natalia’s ear, “I love you, Natalia,” she breathed, warm breath flirting with loose tendrils of raven hair, as lips gently brushed an inviting lobe. 

Natalia moaned softly in reaction to the low, enticing register of Olivia’s voice, to the touch of her lips, and Olivia drew back, pleasantly surprised by the corporeal response.

A satisfied smile played on her lips, and she lifted her right hand, gently brushing Natalia’s cheek as she swept past, tunneling long, agile fingers through, dark tresses, tenderly caressing the back of the younger woman’s neck.

Natalia gulped, the edges of her mouth twitching in nervous anticipation.

Eyes fused, brown on jade…

Hearts pounded…

Pulses raced…

The moment suspended in time…

Natalia’s desire-laden eyes breezed across Olivia’s full, inviting lips, anticipation coursing through heated veins.

Olivia’s jade eyes dilated in response, turning dark, stormy with desire, as she slowly moistened those lips with a velvety tongue…

Without seeking permission, a sequence of reminiscences flashed through Natalia’s mind—Memories of Olivia savoring a piece of breakfast cheesecake, literally moaning with pleasure as she rolled it around in her mouth—that wide, avid mouth. Memories of Olivia expertly manipulating the olives in countless martinis with that wanton tongue. And vanilla ice cream cones? Forget about it. Natalia was rendered powerless over the affect Olivia had on her when she savored the cool smoothness of a vanilla ice cream cone. Oh, how she longed for those lips to touch her own, for that mouth, that tongue, to—

Before untamed thoughts could run their course, Olivia dipped down, lightly brushing her lips against Natalia’s, fulfilling the other woman’s unspoken longings, as if she could read her mind. Even at Olivia’s slightest touch, Natalia felt the gentle stirring of desire ripple through her body. A sharp intake of breath at the touch of their lips provided Olivia with the signal she craved, and she slowly covered Natalia’s mouth with her own.

Their kiss was slow, deliberate, yet light and liquid—an amalgamation of the fiery passion embedded in every heated argument, the safety of every comforting embrace they had shared. It was their effervescent laughter and their unashamed tears. Every illuminating smile and every cantankerous scowl. It was every longing gaze and every knowing glance. Their loving thoughts and their big purple dreams. It was every pause, every breath, and every word of every conversation. Every tender touch and every whispered exchange. Every emotion, spoken and unspoken, the crescendo of every shared experience that had led them to this moment.

Natalia’s lips parted slightly, allowing entrance to Olivia’s silky tongue, and a low, guttural moan formed in her diaphragm, billowing up through her lungs, escaping her throat upon their initial contact. “Olivia—,” she whispered breathily. It was almost like a prayer.

Olivia’s body instinctively reacted to Natalia’s unexpectedly feral response, lightning bolts of liquid desire surging through her veins, engraving a fiery path from her lips to the aching peaks of her breasts and down to her flaming center, where they gathered, vehemently pleading for release.

Natalia’s arms found their way around Olivia’s neck, fingers channeling through soft chestnut locks, as Olivia reflexively infused their kiss with evidence of her own burning need. She hooked her index and middle fingers through the belt loops of Natalia’s jeans, pulling the other woman’s body firmly against her own, savoring the nearness of her. Natalia surrendered herself to Olivia’s kisses, to the sensuous caresses of that velvet tongue, allowing unspoken pleasures, as she melted into the hotelier’s embrace, savoring the seamless way their bodies melded together.

As their kisses intensified, Natalia found herself experiencing a deep quickening of desire, a blazing rush of liquid heat, the force of which she had never previously known—a force which she now could not, and did not, desire to control.

Though they had each, unbeknownst to the other, expended countless hours imagining this very moment, how it would feel to embrace one another on a level much deeper than friendship, how it would feel when their lips touched, when tongues collided, nothing had prepared them for the reality of this life-altering encounter. Olivia, who was certainly no stranger to passion and desire, found herself completely unraveling, physically and emotionally, in the arms of this woman. The one woman for whom she would sacrifice anything, including her own happiness. The woman she loved…

Their kiss broke only when air became desperate necessity, and the instant that need had been satisfied, impatient mouths fused, searing tongues entangling once again. Natalia ached for more and she drew the hotelier closer, pressing into her as unbridled passion rose within, leaving her body and emotions in a frenzied state, while Olivia fought to suppress her own rising desire. She knew they were fighting a losing battle, and she shifted their bodies, the wooden planks of the farmhouse floor creaking beneath their feet, as she maneuvered them toward her bed.

“Olivia—,” Natalia moaned breathlessly against the hotelier’s mouth, “we can’t—,” she exhaled, disappointment rising in her chest, and spilling out in her tone. “Emma…”

No sooner had the child’s name been uttered, and they heard the energetic bounce of Emma’s sock-covered feet thumping across the wooden planks outside Olivia’s door. Little fingers grasped the door handle, and before the two women could extricate themselves from their entangled embrace, the bedroom door burst open. “Mommy, I’m hungry!” Emma announced, halted in her tracks by the scene playing out in front of her.

The two women simultaneously cleared their throats, turning to face the little girl, arms still wrapped around one another’s bodies, powerless to hide the matched set of passion-flushed faces, and kiss-swollen lips.

Emma quizzically surveyed her two mommies, head tilted to one side as she attempted to process the information her observations had gathered. “Mom?” she called, garnering Olivia’s attention.

“Uhh… Yes, Jellybean?” Olivia replied, tone rife with hesitation, as she nervously cleared her throat again.

“Were you kissing Natalia?” the little girl questioned.

Olivia lifted her one available hand to her lips, biting down on her thumb and middle finger, as she contemplated her response. She cast a sideways glance at Natalia, receiving an unsteady smile in return. Exhaling heavily, she nodded her head. “Yes, Baby… I was kissing Natalia,” she confessed, hoping the child wouldn’t press for more information than she was prepared to provide at the moment.

Emma scrunched up her nose, looking much like her mother when in deep thought, as she carefully considered the new information.

Despite the intensity of the moment, Natalia couldn’t help but smile as she recognized how much of Olivia there was in their little girl. Though she had once thought it impossible to love either of them more, in that very moment, she realized that her love for them truly held no bounds.

A moment later Emma tilted her head the other way, brow furrowed. “Mom?” she called again.

“Yes—?” Olivia answered, slight trepidation evident in her tone. 

Natalia shifted nervously at her side, as they waited for the impending follow up inquiry.

“Does Natalia give you those butterfly thingies in your tummy?” the child asked innocently.

Unable to halt the spread of the smile that played on her lips, the corners of Olivia’s mouth turned upward. “Yes—yes, she does…” she admitted joyfully, casting a knowing glance toward Natalia, thankful to finally be allowed to divulge her truth.

Natalia blushed slightly, not that one could tell, considering the remnants of unquenched desire still flushed those smooth olive cheeks. She buried her face in Olivia’s shoulder for a moment, but was quickly drawn back to the conversation by an inquiry directed toward her.

“Does Mommy give you butterflies in your tummy, Natalia?” Emma queried, eyes shining brightly.

Blushing more deeply, Natalia nodded her head. “Yes, Honey,” she smiled, returning the knowing glance she had received from Olivia, equal thankfulness in her own heart. “Mommy gives me butterflies. Great big ones, with lots of fluttering wings.”

Olivia tightened her grip on Natalia’s waist, wordlessly communicating her concurrence of those big, fluttering wings. Natalia squeezed her in return, as she smiled down at Emma. “Now… whaddaya say we go downstairs and fix some lunch, my Hungry Little Bear,” she suggested, reaching down, pinching Emma’s cheek fondly. 

Emma hopped up and down excitedly, offering suggestions of peanut butter and banana sandwiches and cheesecake, as Natalia leaned over, whispering a gentle reminder to Olivia that she needed to keep her strength up, so she would be ready to face Phillip when the time came.

Olivia nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan.”

Natalia released her hold on Olivia, and bent down, scooping Emma up into her arms, kissing that freshly pinched cheek and tickling her lightly, eliciting a succession of giggles from the little girl.

Olivia laughed lightheartedly, watching the woman she loved, playing with their little girl. Her heart fluttered in her chest, echoing in her tummy, as she watched Natalia with Emma, and a fresh wave of love and appreciation washed over her. A singular thought crossed her mind: How did I, Olivia Spencer, get so damn lucky…

As they exited the bedroom, Olivia reached out, placing a gentle hand on Natalia’s arm. Natalia turned her head, acknowledging the contact. She found misty eyes gazing back at her. “Thank you…” Olivia whispered.

Natalia nodded her head, instinctively knowing all that Olivia was saying. “You’re welcome,” she quietly answered. “I love you.”

Olivia smiled, drawing Natalia close to her again, kissing her softly. “I know—,” she whispered. “And I love you.”

Emma giggled again, beaming at her two mommies, and the three of them descended the stairs, heading into the kitchen to share lunch together.

* * *

TBC in Chapter 2—Kitchens and Other Rooms…


	2. Kitchens and Other Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kimberly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble, and some brief dialogue in this chapter belongs to them. Otherwise, the dialogue is original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply. 
> 
> The revised version of this Chapter has not been proofread. Thus, all errors are my own.
> 
> Rating: Chapter 2 is rated R for sexual inferences, but subsequent chapters will eventually reach NC-17
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

Copyright May 2009

"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need."

**_—_** Sarah Ban Breathnach

Chapter 2—Kitchens and Other Rooms:

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Saturday, February 14, 2009, 11:15 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

While life in the farmhouse was far from uncomplicated, given months of the slowly shifting dynamic of their relationship, and now the burgeoning romance between Olivia and Natalia, it was, in fact, a comfortable sort of complicated—one which taught Olivia Spencer to appreciate the simple pleasures and joys that life could bring, and which afforded her a sense of balance, a stability, the likes of which she had never before known.

The farmhouse held many challenges, like the leaky pipe in the upstairs bathroom, the cantankerous valve on the propane tank that fueled their heat and ignited the flame on the stove, the antiquated pump that supplied water from the well, and the fact that one could hear the goings on in one room, echoing through the heating vents, depositing its secrets into the next.

But beyond the challenges, their quaint little home held myriad charms—The comforting creak of the wide plank hardwood floors as Natalia crept through the upstairs hall, pausing briefly at each slightly-cracked door, telling Olivia that she was making her nightly rounds, checking on those she loved. The sight of ducks ambling across the field or splashing in the water near the pond’s edge. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee in the morning, and the mooing of the cows as they greeted Emma during her evening visits. The crackle of flames dancing in the hearth, illuminating their living room with the soft glow of firelight, and steaming mugs of hot cocoa, shared under a blanket on the sofa or on the front porch bench before bed. The cozy ambiance of Natalia’s kitchen, and the sweet aroma of freshly baked bread and homemade cookies. The timbre of their laughter and conversations. These were the sights and sounds that infused their farmhouse, creating the welcoming ambiance of the first real home Olivia and Emma had ever known. And though, in the beginning, she was loath to admit it, Olivia easily grew to love the subtle, yet vastly rewarding life she shared with Natalia and Emma on the farm. Her restless heart had found contentment in the most unlikely of places, with the most unlikely of loves. 

Natalia loved everything about living at the farmhouse, but she was never more at home than when she was in the kitchen, and the cozy room quickly became the heart of their home. Each time she entered and set about preparing a meal or a special treat for her family, she did so with a lightness of heart and a renewed joy. Olivia cherished the experience of watching Natalia, as she danced around the kitchen, making a joyful experience out of that which Olivia, at times, considered a mundane chore, despite her training as a master chef.

Olivia marveled at Natalia, and how, almost effortlessly, the younger woman always managed to help her get Emma ready for school, pack the little girl’s lunch, prepare breakfast for all three of them, and still have time to put something in the crock pot or in some way begin preparations for dinner, all before the bus arrived every morning. And without the slightest hint of regret, the endless days of room service and overpriced restaurants had been replaced with home-cooked meals, shared in the warmth of their kitchen. Olivia and Emma loved the experience of coming home to Natalia’s cooking, and to an evening shared as a family. Weekends were even better, because they had more time to share together, and this one proved to be no exception.

Entering the kitchen, Olivia grabbed a spoon from the canister on the counter and opened the lid on the pot Natalia had simmering on the stove. “Let’s see… Mmm… smells good,” she announced, as she stirred the contents. “Ooh, there’s a lot of salt in this,” she choked, after taking a taste, “whaddaya tryin’ to do—kill me?”

“No… I need your rent money,” Natalia quickly replied, grinning at her own wittiness.

Olivia turned, a flirty smirk playing on her lips as she licked her fingers. Her eyes flashed as she studied the younger woman, appreciating her sense of humor and sarcastic wit, silently acknowledging that she had clearly met her match.

“So…” she began, wanton smile teasing her lips, as she sauntered toward the younger woman like a feral cat approaching its prey, “you profess undying love…” she said, fingers curling into those now-familiar belt loops on Natalia’s jeans, pulling the younger woman taut against her own body. Her eyes were wild with desire, causing Natalia’s mouth to desiccate like a gulch in the desert, her pulse escalating as her airway began to constrict. Bending down, Olivia nipped at the throbbing pulse point on Natalia’s neck, “… and practically ravage me… in my bedroom, leaving me breathless and wanting more,” she breathed, smiling devilishly before kissing Natalia sensually. Natalia moaned softly, and Olivia smiled, pleased with the response she was eliciting. She broke away from the kiss, and found Natalia’s eyes, playfully tormenting the younger woman “… and you’re still gonna charge me rent?”

Natalia exhaled, releasing the air that was trapped in her lungs during Olivia’s seductive little scene, and swallowing hard, she attempted to regain her composure. “Uhh… yeah,” she replied, teasing sarcasm in her pitch. “What—You think you’re gonna get off…” she knew she’d set herself up the second the phrase made its exodus from her lips, but she continued with her thought, hoping to distract Olivia, Queen of Sarcasm and Sexual Innuendo, and avoid the fruition of the blush that was already rising in her cheeks, “scot-free around here just because you know… how to get me… all… worked up?” she asked, feeling both flustered and excited by the memory of the response Olivia had so effortlessly evoked in her body.

“Oh, I definitely think I’m gonna get off…” Olivia growled, voice deep and alluring, one eyebrow arched seductively at Natalia, causing the younger woman’s blush to deepen. “It’s more a matter of logistics and timing, than plausibility.”

Natalia shot her a look. “That’s rather… conceited… of you…”

“I’m not conceited,” Olivia argued, confidence in her voice. “I’m convinced,” she added, voice plump with attitude, accented with a knowing smirk and a determined nod of her head.

Natalia made a face at her. “I knew you were gonna say that.”

Olivia’s lips curled into a grin. “Oh, you knew I was gonna use those exact words?”

“Well, no, but… I saw the wheels turning in that naughty head of yours before I even finished the thought.”

“That naughty head of mine?” Olivia laughed. “Who are you—Donna Reed?”

“No,” Natalia responded causally, shaking her head, “I’m her long-lost Latina sister.”

“Spoken like a true smartass,” Olivia said admiringly, clearly impressed with her partner’s unruffled, yet witty response.

“Gracias,” Natalia replied with a satisfied grin. “And what’s this about me practically _ravaging_ you? I did _no_ such thing!” she protested.

“ _Ohhh_ … I’m pretty sure ya did,” Olivia playfully argued. “Please! Workin’ that tongue, hands all over me,”

“Uhh, excuse me?” Natalia rejoined. “Were we even in the same room? As I recall, you were the one with the wandering hands, and little-miss-happy-tongue. And then there’s that belt loop fetish,” she teased accusingly.

Olivia arched a deliberate eyebrow. “Well, you were the one doin’ all the groaning,” she playfully reminded. Then, a scandalously delicious thought skipped through her mind, causing jade eyes to flash, as a devilish grin percolated on her lips.

A mild sense of foreboding mounted in Natalia’s chest, as she watched the nascent fireworks, and she braced herself for the impending explosion.

“And while we’re on the subject,” Olivia purred, sidling up to Natalia, pulling her into her arms, “what about this getting off thing.”

“Olivia!” Natalia screeched, slapping the other woman’s arm. “Stop it,” she playfully commanded.

“Oh, just stop with the protesting already,” Olivia replied, rolling her eyes as she grinned. “If you weren’t enjoying my naughty side, you wouldn’t keep blushing and smiling.”

Natalia’s face held an even look. “No matter how hard you try to charm me, Olivia Spencer, you’re not getting out of the rent,” she said dryly.

“I can make it worth your while,” Olivia flirted, voice low and sultry, as she leaned in nipping at Natalia’s ear.

Natalia groaned at the contact, then laughed, enjoying the new lilt to their banter. “You’re such a freeloader,” she grinned.

The tips of Olivia’s mouth turned up, forming a smile. “You got me,” she whispered.

A soft smile graced Natalia’s lips, as her eyes searched Olivia’s face. “Yeah, I do,” she whispered, eyes filled with emotion. Then switching gears as quickly as a racecar driver, her eyes sparkled with mischief, as she shrugged her shoulders. “Jury’s still out, but… I think you’re worth keepin’,” she winked.

Olivia’s mouth dropped open, as she feigned offense. “Very funny,” she replied bluntly, rolling her eyes.

“Whatever. You know you like it,” Natalia flirted.

“Maybe—,” Olivia replied, attempting to feign disinterest. Her attempt was belied by her inability to suppress the soft smile that played on her lips, and Natalia grinned in response, pulling Olivia closer against her body.

“Maybe you like this?” she posed, tipping up to kiss Olivia.

“Maybe—,” Olivia breathed, smiling against Natalia’s lips.

“Oh, you’re gonna like it,” Natalia commanded, grinning against Olivia’s lips, before kissing her again. “If we have to stay like this All. Day. Long.,” she said, accenting each word with a kiss. “You’re gonna like it.” 

“Hmmm… Sounds like a challenge,” Olivia noted, voice low and sultry, eyes flashing a mélange of passion and amusement.

Natalia grinned devilishly. “Maybe—,” she rejoined, pulling Olivia into another slow kiss.

Olivia allowed Natalia to take the lead, melting into their kiss, as she wrapped strong arms around her, holding her close.

This time, it was Natalia who urged lips to part. Natalia who was the first to slip a velvety tongue inside, exploring deeply. Natalia who hooked fingers into belt loops, pulling Olivia’s body taut against her own.

Olivia made a mischievous mental note to torment her about their pleasurable little role reversal. Later, of course. And then she surrendered herself fully to the moment, and to the delightful attention she was receiving from the woman she loved. And this time, it was Olivia whose breath caught in her chest. Olivia who moaned gutturally. Olivia who…

“Are you guys kissing again?!” Emma chirped, innocently interrupting their moment.

Startled, the two women abruptly ended their kiss. Natalia blushed, as she buried her face against Olivia’s shoulder. Olivia tenderly caressed Natalia’s back, offering support, as she peered over her partner’s shoulder, down into the innocent face of her daughter. “Does it make you upset or… confused when you see Mommy kissing Natalia, Jellybean?” she probed gently, concern for her little girl evident in her tone.

Emma giggled. “You guys love each other—don’t you?”

Natalia lifted her eyes to search Olivia’s face, offering silent acquiescence, then turned in her arms, smiling down at their little girl. Olivia encircled Natalia from behind, sighing contentedly. “Yes, of course we do,” she answered softly, lips lightly brushing Natalia’s temple. “We love each other very much.”

“Then that’s what you’re ‘aposed to do, Silly,” Emma replied, giggling again, as she dramatically shook her arms in front of her for emphasis, rolling her eyes at the two adults who clearly should have known better. “But it’s still kinda gross.”

The two women laughed jovially at the botched attempt to use a ‘big girl’ word, and concomitantly wondered at how a little girl could hold such keen insight.

Emma canted her head, peering up at the two women. “Mommy must love you lots, Natalia,” she deduced.

“Oh, yeah?” Natalia replied playfully, “and what makes you think that, Jellybean?”

Olivia smiled at Natalia’s use of her pet name for her daughter. 

“’Cause she never kissed Daddy that good,” Emma announced, her teal-blue eyes widening in emphasis, causing Olivia to simultaneously blush and choke.

Natalia barked out an abrupt laugh, then immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to prevent any further involuntary emissions.

“Shut up,” Olivia muttered, attempting to hold back a smile.

A quick glimpse of the expression on Olivia’s face was all the impetus Natalia needed. Her willpower ruptured, and she burst into a fit of laughter, nearly doubling over from the force of it all.

“It’s not that funny,” Olivia said flatly, knowing full-well how truly funny it was.

“Oh! Yeah it is!” Natalia cackled, hand still covering her mouth, as she cradled her abdomen with her other.

“Stop it, Natalia!” Olivia smiled, jade eyes sparkling with humor, as her smile rolled into a hearty laugh.

As always, their laughter was completely infectious, and Emma joined them too. She wasn’t sure what was so funny, but she knew she loved to laugh with her two mommies. And little did she know, it would be their laughter, their ability to relax and truly enjoy one another’s presence, that would carry her family through myriad obstacles along their path toward the promising future they were destined to share. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 12:30 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

After enjoying a lunch of homemade beef stew and freshly baked bread with her two mommies they bundled Emma up in her winter gear: coat, hat, scarf, mittens, boots, and all, and she bounded out the back door of their house to talk to the cows, while Olivia helped Natalia clear the table and clean the kitchen. Natalia smiled as she watched Olivia submerge perfectly manicured hands into a sink full of dishwater and begin washing a plate. She considered all of the sacrifices and changes this powerful, passionate woman had made, not only in her attitudes and behaviors, but in her overall lifestyle, within the past year, and she acknowledged to herself just how telling those changes truly were. “Know how I _know_ you love me?” she quizzed, leaning casually against the stove, as she considered the other woman.

Olivia cast a suspicious glance over her shoulder. “How?” she inquired, a slight smirk teasing her lips, one eyebrow raised, as she awaited the inevitable response.

“Well, first of all, you consented to live on a farm,” Natalia noted, emphasizing the part about the farm as her brow furrowed, lingering disbelief etched in her tone. “I still can’t believe you agreed to move in here.” 

Olivia set the clean plate in the drainer and turned toward Natalia, as she dried her hands on a blue gingham towel. “Uhh, yeah. Never thought I’d find myself even visiting a farm, let alone living on one,” Olivia acknowledged, humor evident in her tone. “I mean, seriously, I’m used to my closest neighbor being a human being, not a cow,” she said dryly, flinging her arm in the air for emphasis, the corner of her mouth upturned.

“You know you love the cows,” Natalia replied, pokerfaced, yet grinning on the inside. “And the little duckies,” she teased.

“Yeah, not a big fan of the cows, Sweetheart,” Olivia rejoined, feigning aversion. “Now the duckies, well…” she added, shrugging her shoulders in surrender.

“Ha! I knew it!” Natalia exclaimed, one firm clap of her hands emphasizing her response, as she grinned.

Olivia laughed, shaking her head at Natalia’s child-like enthusiasm. “So, what else tells you that I love you?” she inquired, crossing her arms and legs as she leaned casually against the sink, awaiting a response.

“Well, you do laundry, and you wash dishes,” she teased, eyes widening in emphasis as she smiled vibrantly. “And you even tried to cook,” she added. Then, as she remembered the billowing black smoke caused by that particular endeavor, she winced. “Yeah, don’t ever try that again,” she teased, arching an eyebrow. “I’m rather fond of our home, and I’d prefer not to have it burned to the ground.” 

Olivia laughed lightheartedly at the teasing. “Hey, I never claimed to be Julia Child,” she quipped, reaching into the sink, grabbing a handful of soap suds, and playfully slinging it toward the other woman. There were some things about Olivia Spencer that Natalia didn’t need to know about quite yet—One being the fact that she was a rather accomplished chef, and the other being the fact that she burned breakfast that morning because she was so distracted by Natalia and what she was wearing.

Natalia squealed, shielding her face just a moment too late, and a spattering of the suds landed on her cheek. She grinned at Olivia, reaching up to wipe away the offending substance. “Well, _that_ was fun.” 

“Oh, you liked that, did you?” Olivia teased, scooping another handful of suds out of the sink, lunging toward Natalia. 

“Not so much,” Natalia squeaked, playfully dodging Olivia.

Olivia shook her hand, splattering the suds across the kitchen floor, as she gave chase, easily catching and encircling Natalia in her arms from behind, nuzzling into her neck. She closed her eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of the woman she loved, and smiled against dark tresses. “You make me happy,” she whispered, sighing contentedly. 

Natalia relaxed, leaning into her, allowing her head to drop back against Olivia’s shoulder as she exhaled a long, contented sigh. “Feeling’s mutual,” she exhaled softly. 

“So… this—what’s happening between us—doesn’t feel… weird at all to you?” Olivia stammered, silently offering an uncharacteristic prayer to Natalia’s God that He let her truly be okay with what she was feeling.

“Weird?” Natalia parroted, considering the question. “No,” she exhaled, shaking her head. “It’s new, and it’s different, for sure,” she acknowledged, “but…”

“But it just feels so…” Olivia exhaled, instinctively picking up where Natalia left off.

_“…right…”_ Natalia breathed, finishing their shared thoughts.

“Mmm… yeah,” Olivia hummed, pressing her face against Natalia’s cheek, as she tightened her hold.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, though, and tell you I’m not nervous about everything that comes along with this,” Natalia stated candidly. “I, well, honestly, Liv, I don’t have a clue about how to be with a woman this way.”

“Neither do I,” Olivia quietly replied, and though it was admittedly quite the paradox, the admission somehow comforted both women. “I just know that I love you,” she whispered against Natalia’s ear, lips giving chase to whispers as they brushed the younger woman’s lobe.

Natalia moaned softly, her pulse instantaneously increasing at the touch of Olivia’s soft, sensuous lips, prompting Olivia to continue her exploration. Slowly, she drew Natalia’s earlobe into the warm wetness of her mouth, sucking lightly, causing the younger woman’s breath to catch in her chest. Natalia lolled her head to the side, allowing Olivia better access, and Olivia continued, slowly inching her way down that supple neck, as she slipped her right hand under Natalia’s sweater, agile fingers lightly exploring the soft skin along the her abdomen, just above her jeans. 

The muscles of her abdomen seized and twitched as Olivia’s fingers traveled across, discovering new territory. “What are you doing to me?” Natalia whispered gutturally, a response to the sensual touch of those fingers on her abdomen, and the warm wetness of Olivia’s mouth as it moved across her neck and up to her ear.

“Showing you how good I can be in the kitchen,” Olivia replied, voice low and sultry, between gentle nips and licks to Natalia’s neck and earlobe.

Natalia giggled softly. “I’m impressed,” she moaned, as Olivia continued her show of expertise. 

“Thought you might be,” Olivia growled, as she removed her right hand from beneath Natalia’s sweater and lifted it to brush aside silky, raven tresses, allowing her access to the nape of Natalia’s, where she lingered for long moments before Natalia turned her head to the side, capturing Olivia’s mouth in a long, slow tongue kiss.

As their kiss continued, Natalia turned to face Olivia, pressing into her, ambitious hands instinctively rippling up and down Olivia’s back as Olivia pulled her close, savoring the nearness of her.

Several minutes, and equally as many kisses and moans later, Olivia came up for air, garnering a dissatisfied grunt from Natalia. “I know me too,” she empathized, smiling softly at her. “But as much as I’m enjoying this,” she grinned devilishly, “I really think we should stop before Emma comes back from her visit with the cows.” 

Natalia halfheartedly nodded her head in agreement, and pressed her forehead against Olivia’s chest, attempting to catch her breath as her heart rate returned to normal.

As she listened to Natalia’s ragged breathing, Olivia arched an eyebrow. “So I get you all worked up, huh?” she queried, feeling quite pleased with her newfound abilities. _I’m such an overachiever_ , she thought, grinning to herself. 

Natalia gulped nervously, looking up at this gifted woman who had proven to so expertly manipulate her body. “’Lil bit,” she sighed, embarrassment flushing her face.

“Well, I may not be the best cook in the world, but you have to admit I’m damn good in the kitchen,” Olivia proudly smirked. “You can keep the pots and pans, ‘cause clearly, I don’t need ‘em.” 

“Oh, Olivia,” Natalia sighed, rolling her eyes, as she shook her head in bewildered amazement. Knowing there was no arguing, given the present state of her own body, she willingly surrendered to the inevitable. “Something tells me you’ll be good in every room,” she winked, nervous excitement fluttering in her chest and abdomen at the notion of things to come. 

Olivia just laughed.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 8:30 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Later that evening, after they tucked Emma into bed, Olivia sauntered into the living room carrying two classes of red wine. She stopped at the sofa, bending down to kiss Natalia sweetly before handing her one of the glasses.

“Mmm,” Natalia grinned, “I think I like this new delivery system.”

“Well, don’t get used to it,” Olivia warned mischievously, sitting down next to her. “I’m not much good at being domesticated.” 

“I think you do just fine.”

“Just don’t leave me alone with the laundry,” Olivia rejoined, fidgeting nervously with her wineglass. “You wouldn’t believe the damage I might be capable of if you’re not there to supervise.”

“You wanna tell me what’s really on your mind?” Natalia probed, knowing full-well that Olivia’s banter was an attempt to cover a torrent of hidden emotions.

Olivia sighed. “You know me far too well,” she declared softly, taking a sip of her wine before leaning forward, setting the glass on the coffee table. She settled her elbows on her knees, pinching the bridge of her nose, a sign that she was frustrated, or that she had entered deep thought.

Natalia recognized the telltale sign, and allowed her the moment, as she studied her carefully, noting the deep sadness that momentarily clouded those bright jade eyes. Her heart ached to bring this wounded woman the comfort she deserved, yet she felt helpless to do so. In her helplessness, she offered a silent petition to God, that He provide her with wisdom and discernment. Then, shifting her attention from the sorrow in those haunting eyes to the subtle glow of Olivia’s face, she set her wineglass down on the coffee table, and leaned in, tenderly brushing her lips against one cheek. “Talk to me,” she quietly implored, gently caressing Olivia’s back.

Olivia drew in a deep breath, garnering strength. “Today has been completely amazing,” she whispered, head bowed, hands clasped together in front of her. “I’m still not certain what all of this means, but I’m so thankful that we’ve finally put our feelings out there. That we’re… together.” 

“So am I,” Natalia quietly agreed, breathing a sigh of relief. She reached over with her other hand, tenderly brushing chestnut locks from Olivia’s eyes, capturing her gaze. “I hear a huge ‘but’ coming, though.”

“Yeah,” Olivia sighed heavily, shaking her head.

“Phillip?”

“You got it,” Olivia corroborated, exasperation and fear engraved in her tone. 

Natalia studied Olivia’s face; concern etched on her brow. “Would it help you any if I went with you to see him?” she offered.

Alarm instantly registered. “Phillip has a tendency to hurt people who cross him,” Olivia quickly replied, her tone embossed with a mixture anger and protectiveness. “I don’t think you know what he’s like.”

Holding her own against this formidable woman, Natalia answered, “Well, I know what the Spauldings are like, and I know I would do anything to protect you and Emma.”

Knowing the argument was futile, given Natalia’s infamous stubborn streak, Olivia relented. “Well, if we’re gonna flag a bull, we need a plan,” she replied, slight smirk on her lips and rising confidence in her voice.

“We tell the truth,” Natalia announced, “that Emma lives here, in a wonderful home, with two people who love her.”

“Two people who are what, exactly, to each other?” Olivia queried, eyes locked on Natalia’s. “We have to come up with an explanation we can both live with, ‘cause Phillip’s gonna wanna know.”

“You worry too much,” Natalia sighed, as she placed her hands on Olivia’s forearms, then slid them down towards her hands, where Olivia’s fingers instinctively intertwined with her own. “And my offer still stands—if you want me with you, just ask,” she reiterated, dark eyes still searching Olivia’s, offering her reassurance.

Olivia slowly moved into Natalia’s arms, burying her face in the younger woman’s neck. “Thank you, for loving us, and for being so strong for us,” she whispered, once again allowing herself to be held and comforted. “I love you.” 

“Always,” came the whispered reply, as Natalia leaned back on the sofa, pulling Olivia with her. And as she held Olivia close, offering her comfort, Natalia sent forth another silent petition to her God, that all of Olivia’s heartache and fear would dissipate, being replaced by the wealth of love and safety Natalia longed to provide for her and their daughter. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 11:15 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Several hours later, as the last lingering embers of the fire finally threatened to extinguish, Natalia gently nudged the woman who slumbered contentedly in her arms. “Olivia, Honey,” she whispered against Olivia’s ear, rousing her from peaceful rest, “it’s late. We should get some sleep.”

“I am getting some sleep,” Olivia groggily protested, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “I wanna stay right here,” she whined, snuggling further into Natalia’s embrace.

Natalia smiled softly against Olivia’s temple. “Well, if you don’t let me walk you to your room, then how I am supposed to kiss you goodnight?”

“Well, you could just kiss me right here,” Olivia helpfully suggested, a quiet smile playing on sleepy lips.

Natalia’s lips twisted into a quirky grin. “I suppose I could,” she replied in leisurely supposition, lending credence to Olivia’s suggestion. “But then I wouldn’t get to push you up against your _door_.”

“Tease,” Olivia playfully accused, smiling against the curvy breast that had been her welcomed pillow.

“Hey, now, I’m only a tease if I say it, and then don’t do it,” Natalia grinned, mounting her own defense, as the sweet tension between them mounted in direct proportion.

“And just what would you do if I called your bluff, Little-Miss-Sassy-Pants?” Olivia posed, devilish grin twitching at the corners of her mouth.

“Guess you’ll just have to try it, and find out,” Natalia challenged, grinning surreptitiously.

“You… are on,” Olivia growled, suddenly more rejuvenated than she’d felt in years. She sprang from the sofa, taking Natalia’s hand in her own, pulling her along for the ride.

Natalia squealed as Olivia pulled her from the sofa. “Wait a minute!” she laughed. “I need to bank the fire.”

Olivia let out a dismissive grunt. “Let it bank itself,” she said. “My door is waiting _._ ”

“Well, aren’t we the eager little beaver?” Natalia innocently teased, as she banked the fire for the night, closed the screen, and set the fire tongs back in the stand.

“Wow, first day out. You sure catch on fast,” Olivia muttered, knowing full-well Natalia would miss the double entendres. “Next you’ll be suggesting fish tacos for dinner,” she snarked under her breath.

“What?” Natalia asked, confused.

“Nothing,” Olivia said dismissively, slight smirk teasing her lips. She took Natalia’s hand, their fingers instinctively intertwining, as Olivia led her up the stairs, mumbling about a toaster oven.

“We don’t need a toaster oven.”

“Some might argue,” Olivia debated. “And since we already live together, it’s the U-Haul that we don’t need,” she grinned.

Natalia’s face wore a look of confusion. “Olivia, I don’t understand.”

“Someday you will.”

Natalia shot her a look. “Well that sounds ominous.”

Olivia laughed. “Nah, it’s just a little lesbian humor that I picked up from Doris Wolfe,” she informed. “You know her. The woman never misses an opportunity to deliver a smartass remark.”

“Yeah,” Natalia muttered distractedly, as she mentally retraced the steps of their conversation, arriving at five key ingredients: eager beavers, fish tacos, toaster ovens, U-Hauls and… lesbians. “Well, I don’t find it very amusing,” she stated, making a mental note to Google the curious hodgepodge at her first opportunity.

“Now what was this about a goodnight kiss, and my bedroom door?” Olivia flirtingly inquired, distracting Natalia from her thoughts as they arrived at their destination. 

Natalia casually spun Olivia around, settling her against the door, their fingers still entangled. She smiled shyly. “Oh, just a little fantasy of mine,” she quietly confessed, blushing slightly, as she focused on their intertwined fingers.

Olivia perked to attention. The mere notion that Natalia would fantasize about her, excited her more than she could ever imagine. “You, uh, you’ve had fantasies about me?” she stammered hungrily, powerless to conceal her reaction to Natalia’s admission.

Natalia exhaled heavily, rethinking the wisdom in voicing her confession. “I probably shouldn’t have admitted to that,” she said as an afterthought, blush deepening.

“It’ll be our little secret,” Olivia whispered conspiratorially, jade eyes flashing, as a playful grin teased the corners of those ever-beckoning lips.

“There it is,” Natalia whispered.

“There what is?” came the quiet reply.

“That look—the one that completely disarms me,” she breathed.

“I disarm you?” Olivia said breathily, those lips twitching ever so slightly again, as smoldering eyes slowly searched Natalia’s face.

“Yes,” Natalia quietly confessed, “with that smile, the one that seems to just tiptoe across your lips, every time you look at me,” she whispered, fingers lightly tracing Olivia’s lips. “It’s barely there, like a breath inside a whisper, or this little secret—one that’s meant only for me,” she quietly surmised, lips lightly brushing behind the path of her fingers.

The slightest touch of Natalia’s lips, and a sharp intake of air burned through Olivia’s lungs. “Natalia…” she exhaled, the heat in those lungs expelling, leaving the impression of shards of glass in its wake.

A dusky haze fell over jade eyes, as Natalia gazed into their dark recesses. “And those eyes,” she whispered, “the way they flash the most amazing shades of green, bright and clear when you’re happy, dark and shadowed when you’re angry, and that sort of dusky haze that brushes across them when your passions are ignited.” 

She reached up, gently caressing Olivia’s face, “Like right now…” 

Then, tunneling sinewy fingers through chestnut curls, she rose up on tiptoe, brushing her lips against Olivia’s again. Their kiss began as a tenuous exploration, as Natalia slowly bathed quivering lips with her tongue. She gently nibbled on Olivia’s lower lip then, eliciting a soft whimper, before completely covering the older woman’s mouth with her own. Olivia’s lips parted, allowing entrance to Natalia’s tongue, and as their kiss deepened, sending simultaneous shockwaves through their bodies, Olivia pulled her close, Natalia’s arms instinctively making their way around her neck. She pressed her body against Olivia, pushing her firmly against the door.

Olivia’s head reeled, as her body instinctively responded to Natalia’s kisses, to the pressure of her body pressed firmly against her own, to the soft, sensual touch of those fingers as they caressed the back of her head, her neck and then her shoulders, before they finally came to gently cup her face.

She felt her desire beginning to build. But it wasn’t the kind of pounding, demanding desire that she had experienced in the past, the kind that would have her simply take what she wanted, and walk away, once satisfied.

No. _This?_

This desire was a slow burning desire—One that held her in its tender embrace. One that awakened emotions she thought long-deceased, if they ever existed before at all. One that she wanted to stoke, deliberately, though ever so gently, encouraging it along until it slowly blossomed into a flame, then ignited into a blazing inferno. This was the kind of desire that could, once satisfied, sustain her for a lifetime. 

Olivia groaned softly against Natalia’s mouth, expertly matching the movements of that enticing tongue, causing the embers of passion to flicker into a slow burn. Natalia was suddenly acutely aware of the heat of Olivia’s body, as it molded perfectly against her own, of the exquisite hands that gently but firmly massaged her back, and of the flickering embers of her own desire as they sparked in her own body. Slowly, slowly, she brought their kiss to an end, eliciting a disapproving groan from her partner. 

“I know, Honey,” she empathized quietly, “but it’s late, and we really should get some sleep. Emma will be up early.”

“How am I supposed to sleep now?!” Olivia whispered breathily, searching Natalia’s eyes, her eyes and tone laden with the remnants of desire. It was a question uttered out of longing, rather than accusation. “Will you stay with me, just let me hold you?” she asked, her voice brimming with quiet emotion. 

Natalia searched those dusky green eyes, noting the unspoken emotion. “As much as I want to, Olivia, I can’t. I can’t stay with you tonight,” she whispered. “I just…”

Olivia’s face wore a mixture of disappointment and understanding. “You don’t need to explain. I understand about your beliefs.”

“No, Olivia. I don’t think you do understand,” Natalia quietly countered. “This isn’t about my beliefs.”

“Then what is it about?” Olivia inquired, just as confused as she was curious.

“I’m feeling things right now, and if I stay with you tonight, I’ll want things,” she explained, hoping Olivia would understand the inferred message. “Things that I’m not quite sure I’m ready for at the moment. Things I’m not sure you’re ready for either.”

Reaching out, Olivia gently touched Natalia’s face, lightly tracing a finger along her jaw line. “This is a lot to take in all at once, isn’t it?” she quietly empathized.

“Yeah,” Natalia exhaled, nodding her head slowly. “But please know that I’m fine with my beliefs, Olivia. I have no reservations. Not about loving you. I promise. And when the time is right for both of us, we’ll be together.”

“You know if you ever want to talk about your beliefs, and how they fit into all of this, I’m here to listen,” Olivia offered. “No matter what else exists between us, we’re friends, first and foremost, and I want to be here for you, the way you’ve always been there for me, and I want to understand.”

Natalia smiled softly. “That’s one of the things I love the most about you, Olivia Spencer,” she announced. “You may not share my beliefs, and sometimes you even tease me about them, but when push comes to shove, you’re willing to try to understand them—for me.”

Olivia just nodded her head in agreement. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” she said quietly. And there it was: a promise, issued on a breath, and carried into the night on a whisper, a promise that Olivia Spencer would keep over and over throughout the course of their lifetime together. She gently cupped Natalia’s face in her hands, and dipped her head down then, capturing beckoning lips with her own, sealing that promise with a slow, deliberate kiss. 

And when their kiss ended, she searched those dark, inviting eyes. “Just so you know, I’ve had fantasies too,” she whispered informatively, yet almost tormenting, as that familiar grin twitched on the tips of her mouth.

Natalia gulped, wanting to know more, yet fearing the knowledge in the same breath. 

A moment later, the teasing twitching stopped, giving way to a soft smile. “But nothing I ever fantasized compares with what I’m feeling right now,” she confessed. “I love you, Natalia,” she whispered, covering those perfect lips with one final lingering goodnight kiss—a kiss that left Natalia feeling completely treasured, and wanting even more.

As lips reluctantly parted, Natalia stood breathless in front of Olivia. “Now how am I supposed to sleep?” she whispered, soft smile teasing at her kiss-swollen lips. 

“Turnabouts fair play,” Olivia grinned knowingly, one eyebrow arched.

“I suppose it is,” Natalia quietly concurred, smiling up at her. “I should go to bed now,” she said reluctantly. “I love you, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Goodnight,” Olivia whispered.

Natalia turned, her fingers reluctantly taking their leave from Olivia’s. She walked away, and as Olivia turned the handle to her bedroom door, she heard Natalia muttering, “I’m never gonna survive her. She’s good in doorways, too.”

Olivia smiled to herself, and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 11:30 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Olivia slipped into her favorite satin pajamas, and glided into bed, the coolness of the 2000 count Egyptian cotton sheets offering sharp contrast to the heat of her skin, as it permeated the silky barrier. The sensation of Natalia’s body, of her lips, and her tongue, still lingered in the places where they last touched, and though the height of desire had given way to light banter and quiet declarations, Olivia still felt the slow ache for the beautiful woman, burning in her abdomen, and splaying throughout her body. Natalia’s scent surrounded her, leaving her heady with desire, much as she had on many a previous night, though, unwittingly so.

She let out a frustrated sigh, switched the light off, and turned deliberately on her right side, pulling the covers up around her. She thought about Natalia, how much she loved her, and how much she needed her, not just emotionally, but in the most feral of ways. Not just tonight, but in times past. Times when they’d had a fight, and Olivia was so turned on she thought she would explode from want of the raven beauty who had captured her heart, unawares. Times when Natalia had held her in a lingering embrace, or even just brushed up against her in the most subtle of ways.

And then there was that night, after Olivia first kissed her, pretending it was only to emphasize her point, yet knowing it was so much more.

So many times, she could no longer count.

She wanted that release.

_Now_.

But more than that, she needed it. And like so many times before, she turned on her back and slipped her left hand down, tunneling beneath the satin of her pajama bottoms, experienced fingers effortlessly finding the source of her eternal aching, as her right hand slipped up under her pajama top, finding first one throbbing nipple, then the other, teasing them to aching attention.

She thought of Natalia. That vibrant smile, and those heart-stopping dimples—the ones that threatened to disarm her every time they made an appearance. The way her long, raven locks cascaded down, brushing lightly against those strong, determined shoulders. The way it felt, falling asleep in her arms on the sofa, resting her cheek against one firm breast. And the smooth slope and the curved swell of her breasts, on rare occasions when she wore something that showed off that enticing cleavage—like the day of Emma’s presentation, the day she first had the nerve to kiss the object of her deepest affection.

_Oh, God—That Dress_ , she thought, causing her breath to catch in her chest, as sinewy fingers glided through the wet heat that pooled between her thighs, her thoughts still laser-focused on Natalia…

The softness of her lips, and the silky smoothness of her tongue, when she kissed her. The sensation of her body as she pressed Olivia against her bedroom door.

Olivia groaned, her breathing increasing in direct proportion to her burning arousal, as fingers slowly circled the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of her inner thighs, expertly manipulating her body.

But the closer she drew to release, the more she realized that as much as she needed it, she didn’t really want it—not without Natalia there to share it with her. She cursed against the darkness, and sighed again, as she slowly removed her hand. And for the first time in Olivia Spencer’s life, the aching need of her body, of her carnal self, surrendered to the aching need and the deepest desires of her heart. 

“Loving you is such sweet torture,” she whispered into the night. 

She pounded a frustrated fist into her pillow, turned and slammed her body back down onto the bed, knowing that sleep would not come easily. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 11:30 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Natalia changed into her comfy flannel pajamas, and quickly slipped between cool sheets, the sensation of Olivia’s lips still burning on her own. _How is it possible that she affects me so strongly?_ she wondered. Those eyes, the way they pierce right through me. That smile, the way it plays on her lips, letting me know it’s there, just under the surface, but keeping itself from me, like it holds some sort of secret. That laugh—God, her infectious laugh, the way it invades my heart, captivates my soul. And the gentle cadence of her voice as she whispers my name. Sometimes she leaves me speechless when she talks to me.

Mirroring Olivia, she let out a frustrated sigh, switched the light off, and turned deliberately on her left side, pulling the covers up around her, her thoughts returning to Olivia. Those lips, the way she kisses me, and her fingers, her hands, the way they feel when she touches me. That body, the way it molds so perfectly to mine.

She intoxicates me.

And then she heard it. The faint, familiar sounds of Olivia, as she quietly moaned into the night. So many times she had heard the other woman, instinctively knowing what she was doing, and hypothesizing as to the reasons why. There were nights when she longed to indulge, to share the moment with her, even in their separateness. And there were nights when she longed to go to the woman she loved, to share the moment together. But Catholic guilt held her firmly in check. But tonight, tonight was different, in so many ways, then again, it wasn’t different at all. Natalia battled in her heart, as she listened to Olivia, her gentle stirrings, those soft, beckoning moans.

Then she was hot.

She kicked the covers off and flopped in the other direction.

And then it was quiet.

Olivia’s soft moans had stopped short of their natural crescendo, and Natalia wondered at their rapid break. Her frustration only increased, and truth be told, she wanted to curse. The moment that thought crossed her mind, the clouds shifted in the sky, sending moonlight streaming through her window, illuminating the rosary beads that lay on her nightstand.

_Subtle_ , she thought, knowing nothing was benign, and that God had purpose in everything.

She picked up the rosary beads, pressing them firmly to her lips, and did what she always did in moments like this: She talked quietly to her God.

“I refuse to believe that You could hate me for loving her,” she stated quietly, yet firmly, “because You are the One Who brought her to me. You planted her right in the middle of my life, whether I liked it or not. And I didn’t like it. At least not at first. But then it was You Who told me she needed someone to really know her, someone to understand her, someone to truly love her, someone to show her the way,” she gently reminded.

“And You even showed me how to do that,” she added. “The more I fought You, the more You showed me the parts of her that were worth loving. And they are worth loving. I thank You for that gift. It’s the most amazing gift You’ve ever given me—the ability to love her so completely,” she said appreciatively, tears of joy welling up in those dark brown eyes, threatening to spill.

She sniffed, and continued, “And You helped me ignore the things that made me want to throttle her some days,” she candidly acknowledged. “That was good too,” she confirmed with a knowing smile, and a deliberate nod of her head. “So you know what? I need You to help me with this, too,” she petitioned. “I need You to show me how to be intimate with her without feeling scared.” 

Pausing for a moment, she fiddled with the rosary beads, as she considered what it was, exactly, that she was asking. “I know it’s an unusual request, but you’re my best friend. She thinks that’s funny, but it’s true. You’re the One I come to when I need help. And I really need Your help right now, so, yeah…” 

She knew that was the lamest ending to a prayer ever, but she was spent, and quite frankly, a bit taken aback at her own request. She set her rosary beads back on the nightstand, and rolled over, attempting once again, to find sleep.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Saturday, February 14, 2009, 11:45 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

As Olivia’s thoughts and frustrations quieted, she heard Natalia’s voice, faintly wafting through the vents of the old farmhouse. Many a night, Olivia lay awake, cursing the maddening woman under her breath, as Natalia sent forth her nightly petitions to a God that Olivia did not know or understand. A God she wasn’t even certain really existed. And many other nights found her listening intently, touched by the words that so effortlessly, so lovingly spilled from Natalia’s lips. Often, on those nights, Olivia found herself wondering about this God to whom Natalia prayed, and just as often, she longed to understand just what it was, exactly, that drew the woman so steadfastly toward Him.

On this night, she listened intently to Natalia’s heartfelt petition to her God. And while tonight was not so different from those other nights, it was this night that she felt as though she were eavesdropping. 

Regardless, she couldn’t stop the words from flooding her ears, saturating her borrowed heart. They made her giggle, just a little, and they brought her to a deeper understanding of so much more. And it was on this particular night, with teardrops streaming down her cheeks, saturating the pillow beneath her face, that Olivia Spencer finally purposed in her heart, to find the answers she sought. Not only for the love of Natalia Rivera, but for the love of her daughters, and ultimately, for the love of herself. She had no idea the journey she would be taken on in search of these answers, but it would transform her in ways she never would’ve imagined. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Sunday, February 15, 2009, 3:15 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Despite her most valiant effort, sleep was not a willing participant to Natalia’s plan. Frustrated, she reached over, switching on the light on her nightstand. She stretched over the edge of her bed, purposefully balancing, so as not to fall off and crack her head—Olivia would totally make fun of her for that—and retrieved her laptop from the floor. She sat up then, propping pillows against the headboard, and leaning back into them, she hit the button to awaken the antiquated machine from its slumber. She mumbled under her breath about the frustration she felt, “Of course the machine can sleep,” she groused.

Several minutes of non-responsiveness later, Natalia tapped on the machine in annoyance. “Hello! Can we wake up please?” she nagged. “Ugh… This thing is harder to wake up than Olivia.” 

The machine hissed and whined, showing its vehement disdain for having been wakened, and finally, Natalia’s wallpaper appeared—The photo of her, with Olivia and Emma on New Year’s Eve—the one with Olivia’s hand pressed gently against her back.

She smiled softly, as she remembered that night, the warmth of Olivia’s hand, and the way it felt to ring in the New Year with the two girls she loved most in the world. She sent up a short prayer of thanksgiving, for Olivia’s willingness to risk making her angry, to test her faith, and another prayer of thanksgiving, that she had passed that test, and come home to her family, where she belonged.

She sighed contentedly then, and clicked the quick start button for Firefox, waiting for the Internet to connect. Several deliberate keystrokes and a few minutes later, Natalia had at least some of the answers she sought. She wore a devilish grin, as she picked up her cell phone, and began tapping on the buttons…

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love— Sunday, February 15, 2009, 3:30 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Olivia’s cell phone rang out in the night, startling her from semi-sleep. “Who the fuck?” she grumbled in protest, as she picked up the offending device, shooting it an obstinate glare. She stared at the screen, attempting to focus, and as the fog cleared from her eyes, she read:

One New Message from _My Heart’s Desire_ , the screen said, and a slow smile crept across her lips. She paused for a moment, giving quiet thanks that the deepest desire of her heart was finally hers to hold. Then, shaking her head, she returned her attention to the flashing message. “What is she doing?” she chuckled. She tapped the green button, accepting the message:

_My Heart’s Desire_ : So… which one of us actually won the toaster oven?

Olivia’s infectious laughter rang out, bouncing against the rafters of the old farmhouse. And as the sound of her laughter sifted through the vents, permeating the walls of Natalia’s room, she smiled knowingly, and drifted off to sleep, laptop still humming, cell phone still in hand, dreaming of the night when she and Olivia would finally make love.

* * *

TBC in Chapter 3—Snow Day…


	3. Snow Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia, Natalia, and Emma share their first snow day as a family in the Farmhouse of Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers and Other Assorted Ramblings: All characters in this chapter are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The book that is mentioned in this update, A Jewel in His Crown, was written by Priscilla Evans Shirer, copyright Chicago: Moody Press, 1999. No copyright infringement intended with regard to GL, P&G, Moody Press or any other entity. The dialogue, props, etc. in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply. 
> 
> The revised version of this Chapter has not been proofread. Thus, all errors are my own.
> 
> Rating: Chapter 3 is rated PG-13 bordering on R for sexual situations and strong innuendo, but subsequent chapters will eventually reach NC-17. 
> 
> This chapter is rather long, around 50 pages, containing several scenes of varying nature.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Kimberly

Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows

Copyright May 2009

“There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you… In spring, summer and fall, people sort of have an open season on each other, only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself.” 

— Ruth Stout

Chapter 3—Snow Day:

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Sunday, February 15, 2009, 11:45 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

In years past, the onset of February would have found Olivia Spencer bitterly cursing the unremitting arctic chill that permeated Springfield, and forcefully reminding herself that winter, despite the desolate feeling that the ominous season had far outworn its welcome, was not, in fact, forever.

True to its Midwestern roots, by Valentine’s weekend, Springfield had already experienced a long, frigid season, one besieged with heavy ice accumulations and blinding snowstorms that tended to halt life in the metropolis for days at a time. And yet, despite months of incessant assaults by harsh Midwestern weather, the Spring Equinox, which marked the official end to this bitter-cold season, was still more than a month away, and even then, there was no guarantee they wouldn’t be the recipients of yet another springtime snowstorm. 

And it was those unexpected springtime snowstorms that so often left Olivia pondering the sanity of having abandoned life on San Cristobel—a veritable paradise, where tropical breezes and balmy weather abound.

In her quiet moments, she could still conjure up the refreshing aroma of the ocean breeze. She could taste the salty air on the fullness of her lips, and hear the pounding waves, crashing against the shore, as she felt the white sands of her beloved island, lightly tickling between her toes, bringing back memories of frolicking on the beach with her siblings, Marissa and Sam. The sights, sounds, tastes and smells of San Cristobel permeated her soul in those moments, leaving her yearning for her siblings and the shared refuge of their childhood habitat, though not particularly their physical home.

Yet, as much as she yearned for San Cristobel at times, a beautiful, young woman named Natalia Rivera had become the center of her universe, and the prospect of one of those unexpected springtime snowstorms suddenly held vast appeal. After all, their quaint little farmhouse was nestled in a picturesque valley amongst the mountainous terrain near the Sangamon River, which flowed along the northern edge of Springfield, marking their corresponding property boundary with its thick foliage and tree-lined banks. And no matter how harshly the oft-vicious winter winds thrashed about, whipping through the trees, the densely wooded hills ascended high above, sheltering their home from the brutality of the characteristically Midwestern winter. Given the comforts of their home, if Springfield were to be buried under a thick blanket of ice and snow from January to June, Olivia Spencer admittedly wouldn’t mind at all.

Winter’s nightfall on the farm left the atmosphere around them still, serene. The crackle and hiss of the fire in the hearth provided sharp contrast to the gentle snowfall blanketing the acreage that surrounded their farmhouse, capping a perfect Valentine’s weekend.

Olivia held Natalia in an intimate embrace, her arms wrapped around from behind. The embrace was close, but not confining, leaving both women with a newly found sense of enduring connectedness, without fear of being overtaken. They were independent, each in their own right, yet their hearts and lives were perfectly intertwined, and neither of them would have it any other way.

A lightly flushed cheek rested gently against Natalia’s temple, as they gazed through their living room window, peering out into the midnight sky. Nature’s brush worked its mystical magic, painting a wintry portrait on the canvas of their farmland, and a contented sigh passed through Natalia’s lips, as she pondered the magnificence of winter. “It’s breathtaking, isn’t it? The gentle silence that falls with the snow, the way it reflects the light,” she quietly mused, taking in the splendor of the falling snow, as it glistened in the soft glow of the old-fashioned lampposts that lined their front walk and driveway.

“It is,” Olivia quietly agreed, her hands tightening around Natalia’s midsection, “but not nearly as breathtaking as you,” she purred against Natalia’s ear. She brushed her lips against that ear, the lightness of her breath sending delightful shivers down Natalia’s spine. 

Blushing at the compliment, as a gentle, appreciative smile seasoned her lips, she canted her head toward Olivia’s face, feeling the hotelier’s breath, hot on her cheek. “It’s you, who takes my breath away,” she whispered, feeling more cherished than even seemed reasonable, given the fine treasure who held her so close. “Everything about you,” she sighed softly, leaving the comment open to the wealth of possibilities it held within its reach. 

The sharp snap of a tree branch as it succumbed to the weight of the heavy, wet snow, ripped through the cold night air, rebounding off the wooded hills, and echoing across the vast expanse of valley. Olivia nuzzled into Natalia’s neck, a contented smile gracing the fullness of her lips. “Looks like we may have a snow day tomorrow,” she hummed, lips lightly brushing against the softness of Natalia’s skin.

“We may have a snow day?” Natalia parroted, emphasizing the near inevitability of it as she slowly turned in Olivia’s arms, seeking out those smoldering jade eyes. And within a moment, her arms were wrapped around Olivia’s neck, as if they instinctively knew where they belonged.

Olivia canted her head to the left, a furtive smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. “Well, yeah, if Emma is off school, we get the day off too,” she announced happily, tucking loose tendrils of raven hair behind Natalia’s ear, before allowing her fingers to trail across a perfectly tanned cheek.

The smooth skin of Natalia’s cheek tingled under Olivia’s touch, and she smiled into the piercing jade eyes that held her own.

“It’s one of the many perks of making out with the boss,” the hotelier said, allowing that smile to tiptoe across her lips, as she leaned closer, kissing Natalia slowly.

As lips caressed, Olivia’s hands gingerly sneaked beneath Natalia’s sweater, curious fingers lightly exploring the small of Natalia’s back, causing her to moan softly into the hotelier’s mouth.

“Mmm… I think I like the Beacon’s Employee Perks Plan,” Natalia whispered against the softness of the lips that kissed her so thoroughly. “It’s way better than Starbucks. I hear they just get day-old Danishes,” she teased. 

Olivia laughed softly at the pun, as her fingers splayed out across Natalia’s lower back, feeling the heat of Natalia’s skin against her palms. “Yeah, it’s rather innovative, don’t ya think?” she grinned into their kiss, as her tongue slowly teased.

“Extremely,” Natalia replied on a low growl, deepening their kiss with the advent of her own tongue into the mix, as it deftly swept across Olivia’s lower lip. “How many snow days could I score if I let the boss make it to second base?” she inquired between forays of her silky tongue into the warm recesses of Olivia’s mouth, as insistent fingers tangled in chestnut locks.

A soft groan escaped Olivia’s lips, as Natalia’s tongue tenderly tangled with her own, and the hotelier’s fingers gripped harder, digging into Natalia’s skin. “At least a week,” she gasped, “A grand slam will score you unlimited,” she grinned against Natalia’s lips.

“Snow days are good,” Natalia muttered breathlessly, her tongue gently swiping against Olivia’s lower lip again, as her hands slipped from those chestnut locks, to tenderly embrace the hotelier’s face.

“Mmm… The best,” Olivia moaned, as their kiss slowly came to an end, desire-laden eyes landing in mahogany pools, nearly drowning in the depths therein. 

“You sound kind of hopeful for that snow day, Ms. Spencer,” Natalia flirted, a shy smile tiptoeing across kiss-swollen lips, as she gazed into a sea of desirous jade. She shifted her hips just slightly, causing the faintest hint of friction between their bodies, and Olivia whimpered softly at the contact.

Her eyes spoke volumes, as she slipped her hands from under Natalia’s sweater, both women mourning the loss. Silently, she took Natalia’s hands into her own, their fingers instinctively intertwining, as a wandering thumb lightly brushed against Natalia’s palm. Slowly, those darkening jade eyes never losing contact with their mahogany counterparts, Olivia led her to the sofa, where they settled, face to face, talking quietly of their newly found togetherness, and the myriad decisions that lay ahead.

“I am hopeful for a snow day,” she quietly confessed, her eyes twinkling with mischief, as her lips teased themselves into a devilish grin. “And who would blame me for wanting more time alone with you?” she signed contentedly, pulling Natalia’s body closer against her own, their legs intertwining, as they lay together on the sofa. “This has been such a perfect weekend, I just… I don’t want it to end.”

“I know,” Natalia mused wistfully, her voice barely a whisper, as she reached out, brushing chestnut locks from Olivia’s face. “I could stay here like this with you forever.”

Olivia shifted her right arm, gingerly draping it across Natalia’s body, as she smiled softly, nuzzling Natalia’s cheek. “Do you realize,” she whispered, lips brushing tenderly against that cheek, “that we shared our first kiss on Valentine’s Day?”

“I did realize that,” Natalia grinned, causing a dimple to form under Olivia’s lips.

“Hmm… I guess that kinda makes it our anniversary,” Olivia quietly concluded, lightly kissing the emerging dimple, as her hand slowly glided down Natalia’s side.

“Guess it does,” Natalia readily agreed, turning her head to kiss the deductive woman softly, as she reached down, covering the hand that wandered her hip, squeezing it gently.

Olivia smiled into their kiss. “It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?” she whispered, more a statement than a question, entangling Natalia’s fingers with her own.

Natalia’s eyes sparkled with mischief, as she pointedly arched an eyebrow. “You are being awfully sappy, Ms. Spencer,” she noted playfully, as her lips curled into a teasing smile. “Very un-boss-like of you.”

Olivia’s countenance took on a contemplative air, as she feigned serious deliberation of Natalia’s playful accusation. “Well, since I met you, it seems I’ve turned into a maple tree,” she said, for once, not giving anything away with those expressive eyes or teasing lips.

Natalia furrowed her brow, her face scrunching up in puzzlement at the randomness of the comment. “What?” she laughed softly, canting her head to one side.

Reaching up, Olivia gently touched Natalia’s cheek with the tips of her fingers, as she gazed into deep mahogany pools. “Your love was the one tap strong enough to pierce the bark I built up around my heart,” she quietly explained, her thumb gently scraping across Natalia’s lips.

A barely audible sigh slipped through those lips, her heart swelling with love. “Oh, Olivia,” she quietly whimpered, those mahogany pools clouding with tears, as she gently touched the hotelier’s face, and leaned in, covering soft, supple lips with a slow, lingering kiss.

Olivia moaned into the kiss, allowing herself to get lost in the sensation of the Natalia’s lips gliding across her own, her right hand finding Natalia’s left hip again, fingers gently prodding.

And when their kiss ended, the hotelier’s lips twisted into a teasing smirk. “And now the sap just keeps on dripping,” she said, with the raising of an eyebrow.

In a flash, Natalia’s expression switched, from profound emotion to trifling exasperation, as she pinned Olivia to the sofa with that look. You… are not funny,” she grunted, playfully slapping the hotelier’s arm, but the slight twitching of her lips belied the sternness in her eyes and the admonishing lilt in her voice.

“Then why are you smiling?” Olivia countered with a satisfied grin.

Natalia relented, allowing the covert smile permission to overtake her lips. “I just can’t help but smile when I’m with you,” she whispered, fingers treading softly down the hotelier’s arm, “Especially now, Olivia. That one kiss changed everything for me,” she said wistfully.

The muscles in Olivia’s arm rippled under the tenuous touch of Natalia’s browsing fingers. “For me, too, Natalia,” she quietly agreed. “Who would’ve imagined just one kiss could change so much.”

Natalia sighed contentedly, resting her head against Olivia’s chest, as she listened to the steady pulsation of Olivia’s heart beating beneath her cheek. “I know how you feel,” she whispered, her hand slowly traveling down the hotelier’s side. “Everything has changed in the best possible way, and I… I don’t wanna go back to the real world. I just wanna stay here with you and Emma.”

Olivia tipped Natalia’s chin, and nuzzled against her cheek, lightly kissing the corner of her mouth. “If I could, I would stay like this with you forever, Sweetheart,” she whispered, “but eventually we’ll have to go back.”

Natalia shifted her body, as reality began to set in. “I know,” she sighed discontentedly, “but it’s so safe, here in our home. And there’s so much uncertainty we have to face out there,” she recognized, burying her face against Olivia’s chest, as if seeking shelter there.

“I know things are uncertain out there, Natalia,” Olivia whispered empathetically, comforting fingers gently brushing through raven locks, “but I’m here, and I promise you, we’ll work through it all, together.” 

“Thank God you’re here, Olivia,” Natalia said, exhaling a sigh of relief. “There’s just so much to deal with. I mean, there’s the Beacon, and… and Frank. And then there’s Rafe, and what about the neighbors?” she added, tension rising. “It just… it scares me, Olivia, the enormity of it all.” 

“Whoa, Sweetheart,” Olivia cautioned, tipping Natalia’s chin to meet her eyes, offering her a supportive smile. “I know this is overwhelming, but one thing at a time, okay?”

Natalia’s cheeks puffed out, as she drew in a deep breath, then slowly deflated as she exhaled, releasing some of her tension, as she nodded her head in silent agreement.

Olivia cleared her throat, and shifted her body, leaning her head against her left hand, as she prepared for what promised to be a lengthy discussion. “Okay, so, the Beacon,” she began, pursing her lips just slightly. “How comfortable are you with the staff knowing about us?”

Mirroring Olivia’s posture, Natalia leaned her head against her right hand, her mouth twisting into abstract shapes as she contemplated the question. _Will they think you made me your assistant because I’m sleeping with you?_ A transitory thought passed through her mind, leaving its imprint in the most intimate regions of her body, at the notion of sex with Olivia, causing a smile to flicker across her lips. _Well, that’s gonna cost me a dozen Hail Mary’s._ And then it was gone, her thoughts returning to deeper concerns. _Do I really care what they think? I do care, but only because I don’t want them thinking poorly of You. Your reputation is at stake. You have so much more to lose, than I. But what about Frank? If news gets out, it’ll be all over town in a flash, and I don’t want him to find out that way. I need to be fair to him. And the Coopers will hate me when they hear what I did to Frank, and…_

Unable to put coherent words to the myriad thoughts that rifled through her brain, she sighed discontentedly, and bounced the question back to Olivia. “Well, how comfortable are you?” she asked, dark eyes searching their jade counterparts. “The Beacon is your business, Honey. It’s your lifeline.”

Locking eyes with Natalia, Olivia quietly studied her before issuing a response. “First of all,” she began quietly, “You are my lifeline, Natalia. You, and our children. The Beacon is just a business, nothing more,” she declared, with conviction. “But beyond that, I’m the boss, and if my employees disapprove of my choice of a life partner, then they can leave,” she stated firmly, knowing there would always be another eager worker, willing to fill the void.

Then, recognizing that Natalia wasn’t the type to be so bold, and thus, may not share her desire to be open about their relationship, her voice softened, as she gently touched Natalia’s face, “Look, I don’t want to hide what I feel for you, Natalia,” she said quietly, “but I respect you, so much, and I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready.”

Natalia held her with a resolute stare. “I’m not ashamed of us, Olivia, and I don’t want to hide what we have together,” she stated firmly, though, not angrily, wanting to ensure Olivia of her commitment to their relationship. Her voice softened then, as she continued her response, “But I need to tell Frank about us, before the whole town starts talking,” she said, with a roll of her eyes. “After what I did to him, I owe him that much,” she declared, her head dropping from the weight of her actions, those dark eyes veiled by a shadow of regret.

Olivia studied her intently, reading not only her words, but her actions and expressions. “You’re still tearing yourself apart over the night you spent with him, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Natalia sighed discontentedly, eyes focusing on the buttons that adorned the hotelier’s shirt. “I just can’t help it, Olivia.” 

“Hey,” Olivia gently broke in, tipping Natalia’s chin to meet her eyes. “I know we talked about it when it happened, but do you need to talk more?” she asked, concern etched in her tone. “I’m here for you if you do, you know.”

“I know, and I am So thankful for you,” Natalia quietly affirmed, leaning in to kiss Olivia slowly.

When their kiss broke, she searched the deep jade eyes that watched her so intently. “Frank is my greatest regret, for so many reasons,” she acknowledged sadly, dropping her eyes from Olivia’s gaze. “I used him, because I was scared of what I was feeling for you. And I ended up hurting a man who has been a wonderful friend to me.”

“I understand,” Olivia quietly reassured, gently caressing Natalia’s cheek. “Frank is a good man. One of the best I’ve ever known.”

“I know, and that’s one of the reasons why this is so hard. But there’s so much more to it than that,” Natalia elucidated, once again studying the buttons on Olivia’s shirt, to avoid making eye contact.

Olivia tipped Natalia’s chin again, meeting her gaze. “Like what, Sweetheart? Talk to me,” her voice encouraged softly, the tenderness in her eyes gently summoning a response.

“I know that I hurt you, and that’s what makes what happened with him, my greatest regret,” she quietly shared, deep sorrow tainting the timbre of her voice. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m just so sorry.”

“Hey, don’t. Okay? You don’t owe me an apology, Natalia,” she quietly comforted, eyes conveying the depth of her sincerity. “Look, I won’t lie to you, and tell you it didn’t hurt, hearing that you’d slept with him, but if I hadn’t been such a coward, and told you how I felt months ago, none of this would have happened.”

“But you tried to tell me, so many times, Olivia. You even tried to tell me that day when I admitted what happened with him,” Natalia recognized, regret tinting the quiet of her voice. “And even if I hadn’t known I was in love with you, before that day, there was no way I could deny my feelings anymore. Sure, I continued to deny them to you, but I couldn’t ignore them in my own heart. Not after that day.”

“What was it about that day that changed things for you?” Olivia inquired, eyes grazing Natalia’s face in anticipation.

Natalia’s thoughts flashed back to that day, bringing with them all the feelings and sensations that emerged when she first saw Olivia that morning, and lingered with her throughout the day. _Even with everything that was going on that day, I couldn’t resist the pull I felt towards you_ , she thought.

She remembered the warmth and softness of Olivia’s chest, as she rested her head against it, while tender fingers sifted through her hair. She remembered the gentleness of those fingers as they brushed against her face and ear. She remembered the warmness of Olivia’s breath against her cheek, as Olivia comforted her. She remembered that sexy gray-marbled shirt, the one that fitted so perfectly to her body, outlining the shape of her breasts, and leaving just the right amount of cleavage visible. And those form-fitting jeans and black, knee-high boots.

As her thoughts flowed unrestrained, she felt an unmistakable rise in her body temperature. _I can’t even Think about you without wanting you_ , she confessed to herself, dark eyes locked on Olivia’s.

Drawing in a deep breath, as she attempted to tamp down the flame that was steadily intensifying in her body, she began her explanation. “Well, first of all, you were more beautiful than I ever remember you being before. Your face, the expressiveness of your eyes, that’s always there when you look at me. I can’t even begin to explain the reactions in my body, just from looking at you,” she exhaled breathlessly.

“And then you started talking, and I thought I would die from the sincerity in your voice, as you stood there in our kitchen, telling me about how much you loved the life we had created together. It just… it made me want to cry, because, well, first, because I felt so overwhelmed with love for you, that I just wanted to bury myself in you,” she confessed, tears welling up in her eyes, as the intensity of her feelings came rushing in.

She sniffed back the tears, and continued, “And also, because I knew I had to tell you about Frank, and I knew how much it was going to hurt you.” 

She paused, taking a moment to organize her thoughts, before continuing, “I know you thought we were having two completely different conversations, but really, we weren’t. When we strip away the façade, it was really about us, all along,” she acknowledged.

“Then, when you held me in the kitchen, and later, here on the sofa, I felt closer to you, just being in the comfort of your arms, than I did that night with him, and I literally felt my heart break, because I knew I slept with someone I didn’t love, when the only person in the world I wanted to share that kind of intimacy with was you.”

Olivia’s eyes filled with tears, but she said not a word, as she reached out, touching Natalia’s face. Gently, she caressed her cheek, offering comfort and understanding, as she waited for her to continue.

“I could feel you hedging your way around telling me you loved me, and I was feeling the same things for you. But the force of those feelings, it scared me, Olivia. So I put Josh and Jeffrey between us to avoid talking about it,” she confessed, knowing Olivia was already acutely aware of her tactics.

“I avoided the truth, like I had dozens of times before, when I felt the subject approaching. Just like I’ve been avoiding Frank ever since… that night. And I just, I didn’t know what to say to you that day, and I don’t know what to say to him now,” she admitted, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Olivia silently weighed the options, already knowing there was really only one viable way to address the situation, unless they wanted to stay closeted in the farmhouse for the rest of their lives. Given Natalia’s tenuous emotions regarding the situation, she hated to be her usual forthright self, but really, she reasoned, there was no other option, so she sighed heavily, and dove into the deep end. “Tell him the truth,” she stated, quickly slicing through the crap. “Tell him that you love me, and that you never meant to hurt him. I know it won’t be easy for him, but I think, in time, he’ll come to understand."

Natalia let out a deep sigh, knowing Olivia was correct in her assessment of the entire situation. “I know he will… eventually,” she sighed. “But do you think we could reach a sort of compromise until I can talk with him?”

“What kind of compromise?” Olivia asked, pursing her lips, as she contemplated the likely proposal. 

“Well, like I said, I don’t wanna hide what we feel for one another,” she reiterated, shaking her head in emphasis. “So, do you think maybe we could not purposely hide it, but not blatantly flaunt it, either?” she asked, her face contorting into a slight grimace, as she awaited Olivia’s reaction.

The tips of Olivia’s lips twitched into a devilish grin. “So what, do you mean kissing you in the elevator, where we might get caught, would be considered fair game,” she suggested, with the playful rolling of her eyes and pursing of her lips, “but brazenly pushing you against the Concierge’s desk, and having my way with you, would be considered foul play?”

Natalia laughed softly, meeting the teasing jade of Olivia’s eyes. “Something like that,” she said, smiling, as she bit her lower lip, and pinched Olivia’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, before leaning in, kissing her playfully.

Their kiss grew more passionate, with the parting of Olivia’s lips, quickly followed by the advent of Natalia’s tongue. And as Natalia deftly slipped it through those welcoming lips, slowly exploring, Olivia felt a moan begin to rumble, deep within her abdomen. As she concentrated her attention on that sinuous tongue, and the amazing sensations it was creating in other regions of her body, her thoughts ran rampant. _Where did you learn to kiss this way?! You always seem so innocent, until your lips touch mine, and then, ohhh, the things you do to me, without even really trying! You drive me to distraction with that brazen tongue, and it’s a trip I’ll willingly take with you, any day, anytime, anywhere._

And then that low rumbling grew more intense, billowing up through her chest, rushing out through her lips, forcing her own tongue out along with it. Curling her fingers in raven tresses, Olivia thrust her tongue into Natalia’s mouth, as she contemplated her options. And swiftly determining the position that would provide her greater access to her partner’s alluring body, she expertly maneuvered Natalia on top of her, that shapely body pressing firmly against her in all the right places.

Olivia reveled in the sensation of having Natalia’s body so amazingly close, memorizing how perfectly each delightful curve fitted into the welcoming grottos of her own. Never had she experienced such intimate contact while fully clothed, and there, in that moment, Olivia Spencer honestly wondered if she had ever felt such intimate contact with anyone, regardless of their state of undress. 

A low gasp escaped Natalia’s lungs, as her body molded perfectly against the svelte woman who lay beneath her, supple, yet firm, on so many sinfully tempting curves and planes. Her mind reeled at the sensation of Olivia’s tongue languidly exploring the heat of her mouth, the sensation of the woman’s body against her own. “God, you feel good,” she moaned into the mouth that kissed her so torturously slowly, as she melted into Olivia’s touch, their kiss ever deepening.

And together, in that moment, entangled hearts wordlessly agreed that nothing had ever felt so perfect, so right.

Strong, confident hands slowly trailed up the sides of Natalia’s body, until tender fingers lightly brushed the sides of her breasts, the faintest quiver brushing through Olivia’s abdomen, echoing further below. _Heaven help me, I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you_ , she groaned to herself.

Natalia moaned softly into Olivia’s mouth at the sensation of those fingers against her, and her own fingers tangled in chestnut curls, as a firm thigh slipped between her legs, pressing powerfully against her center. A muffled whimper escaped her lungs at the intimacy of the contact, as she felt blistering heat pooling against the pressure of Olivia’s thigh. “You are dangerously close to rounding second base, Ms. Spencer,” she growled against Olivia’s tongue, as it teased her own, curious fingers gently caressing the outer edges of Natalia’s breasts. 

Olivia smiled into their kiss, the heat against her thigh causing a sharp rise in her current state of arousal. Grasping the belt loops on Natalia’s jeans, she pulled the lithe young body more firmly against her, as she lifted her thigh to increase the pressure. “You can have an entire fucking month of snow days,” she groaned, immediately remorseful for the expletive. “Just please, don’t make me stop,” she exhaled, moist lips sliding down Natalia’s neck, as a deft thumb brushed against a nipple, causing it to pebble beneath the lace of Natalia’s bra.

Natalia’s body involuntarily shuddered in response, and she drew in a sharp breath of air. She marveled at the skills Olivia possessed, skills that allowed her, even in her seemingly subservient position, to wield such control over Natalia’s own body. _You are driving me completely crazy, in the best possible way_ , she thought, the embers of desire having been expertly stoked into a slow burning flame.

But fear and uncertainty bubbled up inside her, in direct proportion with her mounting desire. She knew she wanted more, but she also knew she wasn’t quite ready to handle it. And not wanting to hurt Olivia, she sought a playful way to coax her from the moment. She pulled back slightly, gaining a sharp grunt of protest from the woman beneath her. “You sound like Gus before we had sex the first time,” she laughed softly, grinning down at the intoxicated woman beneath her.

Her thoughts begrudgingly jolted back into coherency, desire-laden eyes gradually opened, and a lopsided grin slowly stumbled across kiss-swollen lips. “Way to kill the mood, Honey, comparing me to a sixteen-year-old, sex-crazed boy,” she laughed softly. 

“Well, if the shoe fits,” Natalia teased, tossing her head to flip her hair to one side, as she gazed down at the flushed hotelier that lay beneath her.

Olivia growled at the gesture. _Oh, God, please don’t do that!_ And attempted to dispel the surge of desire it had caused, by making a joke. “Buy it in every color?” she smirked, the golden flecks in those jade eyes dancing with mischief.

Natalia laughed, rolling off Olivia’s body, nestling into her side. “Yeah, Baby, buy it in every color,” she agreed, smiling against her partner’s chest. “Shoe hoarder.”

Delivered on a lighthearted accusation, Natalia’s comment drew a soft laugh from Olivia. “You got me,” she chuckled, pressing her lips against the top of Natalia’s head.

Instinctively, Olivia knew that Natalia’s digression to Gus was a sign that she wasn’t ready for more, and she willingly conceded. Though thoroughly frustrated, she was also certain, that her patience would be rewarded in the end.

She held Natalia close then, as they settled in, continuing their talk. “So, when and how do you think we should tell Rafe?” she asked, tenderly raking her fingers through soft raven tresses.

“I think we should tell him before he comes home,” Natalia said decidedly.

“Really?” Olivia asked, surprised at Natalia’s initiative, though, not at the fact that they agreed on the best course of action.

“Well, yeah, I do,” Natalia confirmed, “But how do you feel about that?” she asked, seeking Olivia’s eyes, as she attempted to gauge her partner’s reaction.

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. “I agree, wholeheartedly,” she announced, the expression in her eyes echoing the relief in her voice.

“I mean, we’re grown adults, and look how long it took us just to process what we were feeling, let alone actually getting real with one another about our feelings. If the changing dynamic of our relationship felt this overwhelming to us, imagine how he might feel trying to process it all,” she empathized.

“He hasn’t had the time here with us like Emma has, time to see us together, time to witness how perfectly our lives mold together,” she pointed out. “I just, I think the extra time would be good for him. He’ll have enough adjustments to make when he comes home, and I want, so much, for him to succeed, Natalia,” she shared, deep conviction in her tone.

“I want good things for him, and this just, it doesn’t need to be another issue for him to face when he’s trying to get his life back on track.”

The depth and passion of Olivia’s response told Natalia three things: One, Olivia loved Rafe, as much as she loved Natalia, Emma and Ava, Two, Olivia had taken the time to consider her son’s best interests, and Three, Natalia could not possibly love this woman more.

Tear-stained mahogany orbs searched the deep jade of Olivia’s eyes, her heart overwhelmed by the display of love and concern Olivia’s had shown for her son. She reached out, gently sweeping a loose tendril of hair from Olivia’s face, before slowly tracing the outline of her jaw with affectionate fingers. “I am so completely in love with you, Olivia Spencer,” she whispered, the soft timbre of her voice carrying the depth of her emotions, as the tears in her eyes slowly trickled down those lightly tanned cheeks. “For so many reasons, but most of all, for the way you love me and our children.” 

Olivia reached out with her right hand, catching those tears with her thumb, tenderly wiping them away. “I could not possibly love the four of you more,” she whispered, tears forming in her own eyes as she considered the depth of the love she felt for her family. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, and it gave her a sense of completeness that she never even knew could exist. “I hope that isn’t too sappy for you, Ms. Rivera,” she grinned. 

Natalia smiled through her tears. “Oh, no,” she replied, shaking her head side to side, “it’s definitely not too sappy for me. I love hearing you talk about how much we mean to you,” she confessed, a thoughtful gust of air escaping with her words, as she wondered at the complete unlikelihood of their family, almost unable to believe it was really hers. “As long as I live, I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”

“Good,” Olivia smiled, arching an eyebrow, as she delicately pinched Natalia’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, “because I intend to remind you, every day, for the rest of our lives,” she whispered, sealing her promise with the tender brushing of those soft, full lips across Natalia’s, before drawing her close again.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Natalia whispered, smiling softly against Olivia’s chest, as she nestled against the warmth of her body.

“I’m counting on it,” came the quiet reply, as she tenderly kissed the top of Natalia’s head again.

Then, resting her cheek against the place she had just kissed, Olivia Spencer let out a sweet, contented sigh, knowing in her heart that this woman in her arms had irrevocably changed her life for the better. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 7:15 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Morning broke across the farm, the sunlight reflecting brightly, off the vast expanse of newly fallen snow, casting its glow through Natalia’s bedroom window. She stretched her body, one lithe limb at a time, like a languid cat basking in a patch of sunlight on the floor. _Lucky for Olivia, I gave her the room that faces west_ , she thought, a slow smile breaking across her lips as she thought about her partner’s extreme disdain for morning, and her analogous fondness for oversleeping. 

Focusing her eyes, she glanced at her alarm clock, noting the dim amber lines that connected, announcing the time was 7:15 a.m. _Much later than I usually wake_ , she thought, _but then again, Olivia did keep me up half the night_ , she grinned, remembering their late-night talk and cuddling on the couch for hours before finally retiring for the night.

Though, already certain of the answer, she reached over to her nightstand, grabbing the television remote, and clicking it on to check the school closings. As the endless list scrolled along the bottom of her screen, the local CBS morning news anchor from WCIA in Champaign blathered on about pork belly futures, and the soybean and corn crop predictions for the fall harvest, given the extreme winter they were experiencing. Natalia rolled her eyes, and successfully tuned him out… Until she heard mention of the name Phillip Spaulding, and his unexpected return to Springfield. Not wanting a repeat of the veritable breakdown she witnessed in Olivia two days prior, she turned the volume up enough to gather the details, yet not enough to wake the woman sleeping soundly in the next room. Several minutes passed, as Natalia listened intently. Then, receiving confirmation that Phillip had indeed been arrested and charged with kidnapping, and was being held without bond, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. Emma was safe.

Finally, Lincoln Preparatory Academy—Springfield scrolled across the screen, and Natalia smiled to herself, as she clicked the television off, knowing she had at least one more full day alone with Olivia and their daughter.

She rose from her bed, retrieving the deep purple, silk robe Olivia had given her for Christmas, from the back of the chair in the corner of her room. Her fingers fondly caressed the silken fabric, her thoughts returning to the soft lilt in Olivia’s voice, as she explained that she had chosen this particular shade of purple because it was associated with spirituality, nobility, and Natalia’s unique temperament, and then her thoughts fell into the conversation that eventually ensued… 

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Thursday, December 25, 2008, 9:15 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

“Purple is royalty,” Olivia whispered tentatively, as she smiled timidly at her curious housemate turned friend, uncertain of the way her forthcoming confession-wrapped-in-an-explanation would be received, “just like you. At least that’s what your book says—A woman of distinction, I think is what the author calls a woman like you—A Jewel in His Crown.”

Natalia’s soft gaze quirked into a stunned stare, “You read my book?” she inquired, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, it was just sitting there on the coffee table, lookin’ all purple and shit,” Olivia said, mustering up a façade of defensiveness, to cover the burgeoning hunger in her soul to know and understand this God Natalia served. “I, uh… I hope you don’t mind.”

Ignoring the expletive, a glowing smile literally leapt across Natalia’s face, as she thought about the book that had come to mean so much to her during those dark years when she was raising Rafe alone. It had shown her the true value she held as a Daughter of the King, a child of the Most-High God, strengthening her faith and bolstering her self-esteem in the moments when she needed it most.

Overjoyed at the prospect of her closest friend discovering the promises that were held within the pages of that book, she sent forth a silent petition to her God, asking that He use whatever words Olivia may have read, to encourage the woman, to give her strength, and to one day lead her to a shared faith.

“Of course, I don’t mind,” came the jubilant response, as dark eyes danced gleefully. “I want, so much, for you to know how truly precious you are to God. And to me,” she shared, tears springing up in those dark, expressive eyes.

Olivia snorted. “I highly doubt that God regards anything about me as precious, Natalia,” she argued, a mixture of bitterness and lost hope in her voice. She admired Natalia’s faith, even envied it in those moments where she was completely honest with herself, but she found it difficult to believe that the God of Natalia’s faith would, or even could, embrace her, after all that she had done wrong in her life.

Natalia’s expression swiftly turned from one of sheer jubilation to one of pained empathy, as she watched the swirl of emotions flashing across Olivia’s visage. “Oh, but He does, Olivia. And so do I,” she whispered, reaching out to tenderly brush back the chestnut locks that draped across Olivia’s face, shrouding her pain beneath its dark shadows.

Unshed tears burned jade eyes, as Olivia listened to the gentle timbre of Natalia’s voice, her soul taking in the heartfelt promise offered within the Believer’s words. She wanted, so much, to believe in that promise, to believe that God, and Natalia could somehow find her worthy. Her heart told her to believe; her head told her she was a fool. And being Olivia Spencer, she opted to listen to her head.

“Anyway,” she interrupted, clearing her throat, as she attempted to stave off the rising tide of emotions, “purple is kind of a mysterious color, one associated with nobility and spirituality,” she reported, as if giving an oral presentation. “And it combines the red hotness of your temper when I piss you off, with the blue tranquility of your gentle spirit, creating the most intriguing of hues,” she ended, her voice softening, as she thought about the gentleness of Natalia’s spirit, the altruism of a heart that had so willingly opened itself to her, when she least deserved it.

And even as Natalia listened to Olivia’s attempt to ignore the gentle stirrings of God within her battered soul, she knew instinctively, by the soft cadence of Olivia’s voice and the mixture of sorrow and hope in those deep jade eyes, that one day, she would be ready to believe, not only in Natalia’s love for her, but in God’s love, as well.

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 7:30 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Returning her thoughts to the present, she shook her head, as she often did upon seeing the silk robe, at the mixture of extravagance and thoughtfulness in Olivia’s choice of the gift. _The woman is ridiculously impractical, yet so very attentive to the inner workings of my soul_ , she thought, as she slipped the robe on over her well-worn Amy Grant t-shirt from the 1989 Lead Me On tour—the first and last concert she ever attended as a teenager, given the fact that Rafe was born within months of that memorable night, altering the course of her life forever.

She smiled ruefully at the fact that she had chosen that particular night to give in to Gus, or Nicky, as she had called him in their younger years. She hadn’t really valued the faith of her parents and of her beloved Abuela back then, and had, as a result, made choices that would follow her throughout her life. No, the awareness of the true value of her faith had come later, when, at first out of desperation, and later out of deeper personal understanding, she learned to rely upon God for strength and sustenance, as she raised her son alone.

The moment of regret was short-lived, as her eyes passed over the picture of the three of them, Gus, Rafe and her that sat on the nightstand next to the New Year’s Eve picture of her with Olivia and Emma. _Family is good, no matter the package_ , she thought, smiling at the pictures, and looking forward to the day when she could place a picture of her with Olivia, Emma, Ava and Rafe there, as well. _Perhaps Christmas…_

With a satisfied smile on her face, she fastened the robe, virtually feeling Olivia’s arms wrapping around her as she did. She savored the moment, whispered thanks to God for the indescribable love of her family, and the beginning of a new day, and walked out her bedroom door, quietly padding down the hall.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 7:30 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Olivia’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, as was typical through the night in case Emma needed her, and Natalia stopped to peer inside. She noticed the soft blue glow emanating from Olivia’s alarm clock, and smiled, knowing the alarm wouldn’t be set for as early as the hotelier probably should rise, considering their usual morning schedule, but that it would be set, nonetheless. Finding no need to wake her, given the fact that school was cancelled, Natalia tiptoed into Olivia’s room to turn off her alarm.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she reached for the button, switching off the alarm, as she gazed down at the sleeping woman, dark eyes gently sketching a path along the outline of Olivia’s exquisite features. The soft glow of her skin, those full, pouty lips that were perfectly painted by nature, and the smooth curve of her cheek, as it sloped into the angle of her jaw. _You are so incredibly beautiful_ , she thought, unable to resist the urge to reach out, a tender finger tracing the path her eyes had sketched moments earlier.

Fingers found soft, pouty lips, brushing across them as lightly as a feather, and lingering, as Natalia bent down, slowly replacing them with the warmth of her mouth, in a soft, deliberate kiss. 

Olivia stirred beneath the burgundy-colored, down comforter that adorned her bed, providing warmth against the draftiness of the antiquated farmhouse windows. She nestled in against Natalia’s leg, as if she could sense her presence, a soft moan escaping her lips, as she mumbled something about maple syrup, her tongue, and Natalia’s body.

The murmuring caused a deep crimson to brush across Natalia’s usually tanned features, and she reached out, gently tunneling long, lithe fingers through chestnut locks, and still mumbling, Olivia began to stir in earnest.

_So much for not waking you up_ , she smiled, gazing down at the woman languorously stretching out in the bed, a disapproving grunt escaping pouty lips as she greeted morning’s intrusively early arrival with utter contempt. 

Natalia struggled to hide the amalgam of shock and intrigue left on her face by dream-induced murmurings, as Olivia’s eyes fluttered open. “Good morning, Beautiful,” she whispered, sliding her hand down to cradle the waking woman’s cheek, as she offered her a morning smile.

Olivia’s eyes vacillated between open and closed several times within a matter of seconds, as she forced mind and body into focus. And finally finding a modicum of coherency, a lopsided smile flickered across her lips. “Good morning, Sweetheart,” she whispered, twisting her body toward the beckoning voice, as her hand affectionately caressed Natalia’s inner thigh, all contempt for her early awaking being cast aside at the sight of woman she loved. _I cannot wait for the day when I finally wake up with you in my arms_ , she thought. _I doubt I’ll find the arrival of morning, contemptuous ever again._

“Dreaming of me?” Natalia whispered, more a statement than a question, arching an eyebrow, as she smiled sweetly, and tucked a wayward tendril behind Olivia’s ear.

“Mm… the sweetest dream,” Olivia moaned, the tips of her mouth curling into a satisfied smile.

“Ahh… Yes. With maple syrup,” Natalia grinned, dark eyes dancing, as she cleverly informed Olivia that she was, in fact, in-the-know.

Olivia’s eyes shot open, staring at Natalia with that deer-in-the-headlights look. “Oh, God. What did I say?”

Natalia smirked. “Enough,” she declared, eyes flashing with mischief, as she purposely tormented the dreamer of maple syrup naughtiness.

Meeting Natalia’s eyes, exchanging mischievousness flash for flash, a devilish grin rippled across Olivia’s lips. _Game on_ , she thought, and in one swift movement, she grabbed Natalia, pulling her down onto the bed, garnering a playful squeal from her partner for her efforts. And rolling the two of them over, she effortlessly trapped Natalia with her left arm curled around her waist, her right hand planted firmly on the bed on the other side, as she slipped a powder blue, satin covered thigh between Natalia’s legs.

She could tell by the relative ease with which her thigh moved up those legs, that there was little, if anything, other than the satin of her pajama bottoms, creating a barrier between her own skin and Natalia’s, and as reality registered in her brain, an appreciative growl escaped her lips, liquid heat pooling between her legs.

Natalia groaned at the contact, the cool satin against her skin providing sharp contrast to the mounting heat between her thighs, her heart rate increasing, as her breathing turned rapid, almost strangled. She glanced to the left, spying the rippling of Olivia’s right bicep, as it braced her above, their torsos and lips barely a hairsbreadth from touching. She could feel the warmth of Olivia’s breath, wafting across her lips, and the desire she found, riding the waves in those deepening jade eyes that stared into her soul so intensely, caused her insides to quiver and her nether-regions to tingle and pulse in the most exquisite way. _How can you affect me so strongly, when you’re barely even touching me?_ she wondered, as she struggled to infuse air into her burning lungs. _I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want You._

Dark jade burned into Natalia’s soul, as Olivia watched the aroused woman tussling for air. She leaned closer, though Natalia couldn’t comprehend how, given their already-intimate proximity. “What did I say?” she grinned devilishly, slowly repeating her previous inquiry, her lips nearly brushing against Natalia’s as they moved to form the words.

Fiery heat coursing through her veins, the mahogany liquid of Natalia’s eyes simmered with unfettered want, as she gasped out a breathy reply. “You… Um, you said you wanted to uh, to paint my body with, um… with maple syrup, a-and lick it off with, uh… your tongue.”

Eyes fixed on Natalia’s, Olivia darted out her tongue to wet those soft, pouty lips, watching dark orbs dilate at the gesture. “That’s what I thought,” she announced, in a breathy whisper, her expression remaining serious for the moment, as she allowed the intensity between them to linger. “Just don’t feed me pancakes for breakfast today,” she warned, the corners of her mouth twitching into a devilish grin, “or I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” 

And with that, she relinquished the invisible, yet undeniably powerful hold she had on Natalia, rolling over onto her back, as that devilish grin morphed into a satisfied smirk.

Natalia lay there, bolted to the bed by the force of Olivia’s presence, despite the current acute dearth of close proximity. She struggled to regain control of her senses, as Olivia cast a sideways grin at her, pleased with the effect she had created with little more than the slightest of touches and the low register of her voice. 

Several minutes passed, before Natalia finally managed to tamp down the erratic carryings on within her mind and body. She turned on her side, leaning on her right elbow, as she propped her head against her hand. “Tease,” she whispered, grinning down at Olivia, as her eyes slowly caressed the other woman’s body.

Olivia cast Natalia a lopsided grin, eyes taking on a slightly sheepish quality. “Have I told you how much I love you today?” she asked, attempting to extricate herself from the proverbial doghouse.

“What, you only love me today?” Natalia said, feigning incredulity, the subtle twist of her lips giving her away. “What about yesterday, or tomorrow?”

Olivia laughed, pulling Natalia down against her, their lips uniting in a slow, deliberate kiss. And when their kiss ended, she answered with a depth of sincerity that she never knew she could possess. “Sweetheart, I loved you yesterday. I love you today, and I promise you, I will love you from tomorrow through the end of time,” she whispered, gazing into deepening pools of mahogany bliss, sealing the promise with another slow, meaningful kiss. 

“Good answer,” Natalia grinned, wrapping herself in the warmth of Olivia’s embrace, as she draped her body against the other woman’s chest, resting her head on the firmness of one breast.

“Yeah, I thought you might like that, all that sap and all,” Olivia grinned. “Kinda goes with that maple syrup dream.” 

“Shut up and just hold me,” Natalia laughed, slapping Olivia’s arm playfully. 

“That, I can do,” Olivia replied, pulling Natalia closer against her body, gently caressing Natalia’s shoulder, as she covered them with the down comforter. _You feel so completely perfect, lying here against me_ , she thought, the idea of holding Natalia so close in bed making her tingle all over. _I could hold you for a million years_.

Then, noting the brightness of the sun through her window, she glanced at the clock on her nightstand. “Snow day?” she grinned against Natalia’s forehead.

Natalia sighed contentedly and nodded confirmation.

“Mm… snow days are good,” Olivia purred, tipping Natalia’s chin and kissing her softly.

“Indeed, they are,” Natalia quietly agreed, nestling against the warmth of Olivia’s body after their kiss ended.

And they drifted off to sleep, dreaming big purple maple syrup dreams, as the winter sky continued to paint the earth below with a gentle snowfall, creating its tapestry of shiny white wonder to blanket the terrain. And Olivia Spencer, the woman who, no matter how much she possessed, always hungered for more, always hungered for whatever one thing that lay just beyond her reach, finally knew what it meant to find complete contentment. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 9:45 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Two blissfully sleep-filled hours later, little slipper-clad feet came tearing down the hallway, bounding through Olivia’s bedroom door. “Mommy! Mommy! We’re late!” Emma announced, as she scaled the side of the bed, and deposited herself in the middle, finding Natalia wrapped peacefully in her mother’s arms. 

The two women jumped, startled by their daughter’s unexpected arrival as she bounced anxiously on the bed. It was almost as though her body moved faster than the sound of her voice, as she seemed to have arrived, long before they ever heard her, though they both knew the laws of physics deemed such an occurrence impossible.

“Come on, guys. We gotta get up!” Emma insisted, little hands rapidly shaking her mother’s thigh.

As Olivia mumbled incoherently and attempted to focus her mind into some semblance of coherency, Natalia gently extricated herself from Olivia’s embrace, grinning at the disapproving grunt she received from the other woman, before turning her attention to their daughter, calmly addressing her concerns.

“Oh, no, Sweetie—it’s okay,” she assured, sitting up in the bed cross-legged, facing the little girl who knelt in front of her. “Snow day,” she announced, smiling, as she reached out to pinch a pinkish cheek.

Emma’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, all bright-eyed and smiling. “Oh, yay!!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the bed, as she clapped her hands excitedly. “I didn’t even know it was ‘aposed to snow!”

Chuckling softly, Natalia said, “That’s because it started after you went to bed last night, Jellybean,” as she tickled her way up Emma’s leg, and landed with a playful poke in the little girl’s tummy.

Emma giggled and rolled on the bed, and then her head popped up. “How much did we get?” she asked, an expectant expression on her face, hoping it was enough to secure at least a couple of days off school.

Natalia smiled knowingly. “Last I checked, we had about 9 inches,” she reported, sounding much like the weather announcer on WCIA earlier that morning, “but it was still snowing kinda hard when Mommy and I fell back asleep this morning.”

Emma grinned, pleased with the response. “So there’s probly lots more now!” she surmised, eyes widening, as she effectively butchered the big girl word.

“Probably,” Natalia laughed softly, grinning at the little girl’s attempt to use such a big word.

Finally finding at least a few of her faculties, Olivia roused enough to join reality. She slowly passed an appreciative hand across Natalia’s back, as she stretched languidly, and smiled up at her.

Natalia returned her smile, instinctively knowing the underlying meaning of the gesture.

“Hey, Jellybean,” Olivia greeted, smiling at her daughter, as she planted her hands at her sides, and slid back, lifting her body into a seated position next to Natalia. She bent her knees, bringing them to her chest, as she casually wrapped her arms around them.

“Hi, Mommy,” Emma grinned. “We have a snow day today!” she excitedly announced.

“I know!” Olivia replied, eyes widening with excitement, as she chuckled softly, a broad smile spreading across her face. “So what would you like to do today?” she asked playfully.

“I wanna build a snowwoman! One with a big purple hat and a matching scarf, and snow boots! Oh, and she has to have pretty brown eyes, like Natalia,” Emma announced animatedly, bobbing her head up and down for emphasis, as Natalia gazed adoringly at her, golden flecks sparkling in those eyes.

“A snowwoman, not a snowman?” Olivia posed, curious as to the distinction.

“Yes,” Emma clarified resolutely, with a firm nod of her head.

“Why a snowwoman?” Olivia pressed, looking much like a detective on the hunt, with those pursed lips and that pointedly arched eyebrow. The only thing she was missing was Doris’s hat. _Hmmm… I think I’m raising a Feminist_.

“Well, duh, Mom,” Emma giggled, rolling her eyes. “A snowman would look silly in a big purple hat, ‘cause purple is a girly color,” she reasoned, the tone in her voice indicating that her mother clearly should have known better.

“Oh—” Olivia grunted, shrugging her shoulders as she grinned. “Can’t argue with that logic.” _Clearly, she’s never seen Greg on alternating Tuesdays, when he wears that lavender tie and matching handkerchief_ , she thought. _God, I hope he doesn’t have a hat._

“So I wanna build my snowwoman,” Emma said, cutting into her mother’s internal tangent. “And then I wanna drink hot cocoa by the fire with you guys when we’re done,” she announced. “Oh, and I want my hot cocoa in my Frosty the Snowman mug that Ava bought me for Christmas last year,” she said, with a final nod of her head.

Natalia smiled, the contagiousness of the little girl’s excitement overtaking her. “That sounds like a great way to spend our first snow day together,” she proclaimed, tweaking the little girl’s nose. “I’ll look for your mug when we go downstairs.” 

“Ooh, and we can roast marshmallows in the fireplace, and make S’mores!” Olivia added excitedly, eyes bright with anticipation, looking much like her eight-year-old daughter.

“Yay! S’mores!!” Emma exclaimed, as she bounced gleefully on the bed.

“I know, right?” Olivia smiled conspiratorially at her daughter, jade eyes dancing with delight.

“I love S’mores, Mommy!”

Olivia laughed softly. “I know you do, Baby,” she replied, smiling at her daughter’s exuberance. “So do I,” she added, resting her chin against the palm of her hand, atop her knee.

Natalia canted her head to the side as she watched the energized tennis match between mother and daughter, then cast a quizzical glance toward Olivia. “What are S’mores?” she inquired.

A teasing grin trotted across Olivia’s face. “Oh, tell me you’re joking,” she said, a pitying expression on her face. “You’ve never had S’mores?!” she said, unable to even fathom the concept.

“Nnn-no,” Natalia cautiously admitted, suddenly feeling as though she’d grown up under a rock. “Never even heard of ‘em.”

“Ooh, you’ll love them, Natalia,” Emma proclaimed, eyes widening with excitement. “They’re made of roasted marshmallows, and graham crackers, and chocolate!”

Natalia knit her brow, chewing on the side of her mouth, as she often did when contemplating something she didn’t quite comprehend. “Really,” she said skeptically, more an utterance of disbelief, than a question.

“Yeah, they’re good,” Emma announced confidently, nodding her head up and down to reinforce her assertion.

“Well, I’ll just take your word for it, okay, Jellybean?” Natalia grinned, patting the little girl’s hand warmly.

Olivia nudged Natalia with her left shoulder, grinning at the skeptical woman. “Hey, you gave me grief over my obsession with ice cream and French fries, too, and you ended up loving that combination,” she reminded with a wink. 

“Point taken,” Natalia grinned, as she arched an eyebrow. She leaned in close to Olivia then. “To be honest though, even if I had hated the combination, I would have encouraged you to keep feeding it to me,” she whispered, the memory of how she reacted to Olivia feeding her that day causing a slight blush to creep across, warming her skin. “That was way sexy, Baby,” she grinned against the other woman’s ear, sending delightful shivers down both their spines.

Olivia turned into Natalia’s neck, nuzzling her ear. “Remind me to feed them to you again,” she whispered, her words barely audible, as her warm breath tickled Natalia’s ear. “They’ll be a lot more fun, now that we’re together,” she grinned devilishly.

Natalia groaned softly, the notion of Olivia popping the salty-sweet treat into her mouth, then allowing the coolness of the ice cream to roll around on their tongues as she kissed her deeply, setting off fireworks in her veins. “We should have McDonald’s for lunch tomorrow,” she suggested, grinning devilishly against Olivia’s ear. “In your office, with the door locked.” 

“Mm… sounds like a plan,” Olivia purred, heat rising in her veins at the idea of a lunchtime playdate with her assistant. “Just make sure to clock out before you get to my office,” she grinned.

Natalia nudged her playfully. “You know I don’t punch a time clock anymore.”

Olivia laughed softly against Natalia’s ear. “Yeah, I know. Just tryin’ to cover my ass, ‘cause the things I’m thinking of doing might not be appropriate between a boss and her employee,” she said playfully. 

“Olivia!” the shocked young woman exclaimed, playfully slapping the hotelier on the arm.

A satisfied grin tripped across Olivia’s lips, as Natalia blushed profusely.

Emma watched their exchange carefully, enjoying the sheer happiness they exuded as they interacted. And then came the first in a series of questions that would extend throughout years to come, each becoming more interesting and challenging than the last. 

“Mommy?” 

“Yeah, Baby.”

“Umm… Did you and Natalia have a sleepover?” the little girl asked innocently.

Effectively extricated from their little world, Olivia laughed softly. “No, Baby,” she smiled, tousling her daughter’s hair playfully, “We just took a little nap this morning, after school was called off.”

“Oh. Okay,” Emma chirped, accepting her mother’s answer.

Olivia glanced at Natalia, her eyes begging the unspoken question, and Natalia nodded her agreement.

With the go-ahead received, Olivia gingerly approached the situation. “Hey, Jellybean?” she called, seeking her daughter’s attention.

“Yeah, Mom?” came the reply, curious eyes peering up at Olivia.

“You understand about my relationship with Natalia, right?” Olivia asked, silently willing the child to respond affirmatively. “That we love each other, and we’re a real family, like other families with two parents.”

The little girl nodded her head firmly, signaling that she understood. “Why?” she asked, a mixture of curiosity and confusion on her face.

Natalia reached over, taking Olivia’s hand in a display of support.

Olivia smiled at her, and squeezed the proffered hand gently, as she returned to the conversation with Emma. “Well, as Natalia and I grow closer, there will come a time when we’ll want to have sleepovers, probably every night,” she carefully explained, studying her daughter for any sign of negative reaction. “How would you feel about that?”

Emma shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “You’re my two Mommies,” she reminded, eyebrows furrowed, as she attempted to decipher her mother’s strange hang-up with the situation. “Most parents who live together have sleepovers every night, so I don’t know what the big deal is,” she stated boldly, displaying wisdom far beyond her eight years.

Natalia squeezed Olivia’s hand again, causing the other woman to glance toward her, a contented smile tiptoeing across her lips. Then, turning her attention back to their daughter, Olivia sought confirmation. “So you’re really okay with the way things are changing?”

Emma bobbed her head up and down. “Uh-huh,” she chirped, eyes as bright as the smile on her face. “The only thing that changed is you guys are kissing all the time now, ‘stead of just lookin’ at each other all goofy, like you wanna kiss,” she giggled. “You been doin’ that for months,” she added, brow crinkled as she shrugged her shoulders. 

Olivia and Natalia chuckled at their daughter’s insight and candor.

“I think we’re busted,” Olivia noted with a grin.

“Pretty much,” Natalia smiled, casting a sideways glance toward Olivia.

“Well, that was easy,” Olivia said, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

A lopsided grin twitched at the edges of Natalia’s lips. “Yeah, it was,” she said wistfully, thankful that Emma was handling the changes so well. “I just hope it’s this easy with Rafe.” 

Olivia leaned over, gently brushing Natalia’s cheek with her lips. “Don’t worry about Rafe, okay, Sweetheart?” she whispered, attempting to show comfort and support. “Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together.”

Natalia closed her eyes, breathing in the promise in Olivia’s voice, in her words. “Thank you,” she whispered, leaning her head against her partner’s shoulder.

“Always,” came the quiet reply, as she tenderly kissed Natalia’s temple.

Emma sat silently, thoughts twisting in her mind. Then, when she noticed Natalia begin to stir, she spoke again. “Mommy?” she called in a small voice.

“Yeah, Baby,” Olivia answered warmly, turning her attention to their daughter.

“Will I still be able to cuddle with you in your bed, when I get scared at night?” she asked, voice tentative, fingers fidgeting with the corner of Olivia’s comforter.

Two Mommies’ hearts melted in tandem, as Emma posed the question.

“Oh, of course you will, Jellybean,” Natalia quietly interjected, scooping the worried little girl into her arms. She pressed her forehead against Emma’s temple, as she held her close. “Nothing will change between you and your Mommy, Sweetie. I promise.”

Olivia offered Natalia an appreciative smile, as she gently cupped Emma’s chin, a tender thumb caressing a slightly flushed cheek. “Natalia is right, Baby,” she quietly confirmed. “The only thing that will change is that you’ll have both of us to cuddle with when you’re scared,” she said reassuringly. “Does that sound okay?”

Emma nodded her head in affirmation. “Yeah, that sounds good,” she announced. “I like the idea of having you both here.”

“Well, good, I’m glad,” Natalia stated firmly, “because we will always be here for you, Emma,” she promised, kissing the little girl’s cheek, causing her to giggle.

Natalia nuzzled into Emma’s cheek for a moment. “Now whaddaya say we go make some breakfast,” she suggested, as she playfully tapped their daughter’s bottom. 

“Yay, breakfast! I’m starving!” Emma announced, eyes widening in emphasis, as she scrambled to get off the bed. She yanked her other Mommy’s arm, startling the woman with the force of her strength, causing her to laugh. “Come on, Natalia,” she prodded, attempting to pull her away from Olivia, “let’s go.”

Olivia laughed at their antics. “I guess you’re being summoned,” she surmised, a crooked grin teasing at her lips.

“Looks like it,” Natalia replied, grinning happily at Olivia. She leaned over, straining against the force of Emma’s pull, and kissed Olivia softly. “Geez, you’d think we’ve never fed this kid before. I’d better go, before she dismembers me,” she laughed.

“Just remember, no pancakes,” Olivia smirked.

Natalia shot her a knowing smile. “No pancakes,” she laughed, kissing Olivia again, before extricating herself from the covers, and chasing Emma down the stairs.

Emma shrieked, then giggled, telling Olivia that Natalia finally caught up with her, scooping her up and attacking her with tickles and kisses. She lay back against her pillow, a slow, contented smile treading softly across her lips, as she listened to the familiar sounds of morning in their farmhouse. And lifting her eyes skyward, tears threatened to spill, as a simple, quiet “Thank you” passed through her lips, ascending to a God she didn’t yet know. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 11:00 a.m. Central Standard Time_ **

After a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, homemade biscuits, and sausage gravy, Olivia helped Natalia clean the kitchen, while Emma rummaged through her box of “dress-up” clothes, searching for the perfect accessories for her snowwoman.

“Thank you for breakfast,” Olivia said appreciatively, clearing the plates from the table. “It was fantastic, as always.”

“You’re welcome,” Natalia replied cheerily, as she spooned the leftover gravy into a storage container—a square one. “Just don’t get too used to sausage and gravy, because you’re not getting it very often,” she warned, tapping the spoon against the edge of the container to shake off the remnants, “It’s bad for your heart.”

“My heart is fine,” Olivia rejoined, shaking her head and chuckling as she watched Natalia, remembering how the other woman had once told her she didn’t like round containers, because they waste space in the refrigerator.

Natalia looked up at her and smiled, offering Olivia another serving of those irresistible dimples. “I know, and I plan to keep it that way,” she announced, snapping the lid on the container. “Now why are you laughing at me?” she said playfully.

“No reason,” Olivia replied dismissively, grinning, as she leaned in, kissing Natalia softly.

She lingered for a moment, eyes fixed on Natalia’s as she smiled contentedly, then took the container from Natalia’s hands, and placed it in the refrigerator, chuckling to herself again, as the Natalia turned on the faucet, preparing the water for the morning dishes.

Closing the refrigerator door, Olivia approached Natalia, wrapping the other woman in her arms from behind. She squeezed her tight for a moment, drawing in a deep breath, then exhaled, releasing her into a relaxed embrace, as she rested her cheek against Natalia’s.

“What was that for?” Natalia smiled, her hand gently caressing Olivia’s arm, causing the other woman’s skin to tingle beneath her touch.

“Just because,” Olivia whispered, kissing a perfectly formed dimple.

“Mm… I think I like ‘just because’,” Natalia sighed contentedly, closing her eyes, just enjoying the nearness of the woman she loved.

“Me, too,” Olivia quietly breathed against Natalia’s ear, lingering in the moment for just a bit longer.

A clamorous thud above their heads startled them from the quiet of the moment, and two sets of eyes peered upward, almost expecting the ceiling to fall through. Next came the distinct sound of something heavy and round, cumbersomely rolling across the hardwood floor, promptly followed by the sound of Emma’s voice, “It’s okay,” she yelled, “I just dropped Mom’s bowling ball. It was in my trunk.”

An amused grin skipped across Natalia’s lips, as she quickly reached to shut off the water, and turned in Olivia’s arms. “You have a bowling ball?” she ribbed, dark eyes flashing with delight, as once again, Olivia Spencer managed to surprise her.

From over their heads came of the sound of slippered feet, shuffling, as Emma rolled the bowling ball across the floor.

Olivia blushed slightly, her eyes fluttering closed. “Yes,” she sheepishly admitted, preparing for the impending mockery.

Natalia eyed her up and down. “You mean to tell me that you, Olivia Spencer, wear shoes that other people have worn?” she inquired with a decided arch of an eyebrow. 

Olivia shot her an incredulous look. “Certainly Not!” she exclaimed. “I have my own shoes,” she informed, with the sarcastic curling of her lips.

“Your own shoes?” Natalia squeaked. “What are you, the Reigning Queen of Lighthouse Lanes?” she asked rhetorically, referring to one of the local bowling alleys. “You need your own shoes,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes, as a second resolute thud indicated that Emma had returned to ball to her trunk.

Olivia laughed, shaking her head both at Natalia’s sarcasm, and at the raucous cacophony of their noisy child. “No, I haven’t bowled in years. Not since San Cristobel,” she admitted. “But I was rather good at it back then,” she grinned proudly.

“Oh! We are so going to Cosmic Bowling on Saturday night,” Natalia announced, a huge grin on her face, anticipation rising.

Olivia arched an eyebrow, one side of her mouth curling up, as she attempted to decipher the concept. “Cosmic Bowling?” she queried, emphasizing the words.

“Ha! Yes!” Natalia exclaimed, with an excited hop. “I may not know about S’mores, but I know all about Cosmic Bowling,” she said gleefully. “It’s sort of glow-in-the-dark bowling, with a dance club vibe. And there’s a laser-light show, and fog machines. It’s so much fun,” she enlightened excitedly, eyes widening in emphasis. “You and Emma will love it.”

The corners of Olivia’s lips curled into an amused grin at her partner’s childlike exuberance. “Okay,” she agreed, with the nodding of her head, “but if we do your family bowling thing on Saturday night, does that mean I can have you all to myself on Friday night?”

“You mean like a date?” Natalia flirted, flashing Olivia that dimpled grin.

Olivia nodded her head, hesitantly at first, then with conviction. “Yeah, like a date,” she affirmed, pulling Natalia closer against her body. “Are you okay with that? Us being out in public as a couple?” she asked, searching Natalia’s eyes.

A slow smile spread across Natalia’s face. “Yeah, I’m more than okay with that,” she whispered, nodding her head. “I’m gonna talk to Frank this week, and after that, it won’t matter who knows,” she declared, eyes locked on Olivia’s.

“What about Rafe?” Olivia inquired, concerned about Natalia’s son being caught off guard.

“You and I and Frank are the only ones who can see him without prior authorization,” Natalia informed, “so I’m not worried about him finding out before we have a chance to tell him.”

Olivia nodded her head. “Okay,” she smiled, pleased with the prospect of taking her lady love out on their first date. Already, her mind was racing with ideas for the perfect evening. Secluded, elegant and romantic? Or low-key, casual and fun? The best of both worlds? Oh, the possibilities were endless, and she couldn’t wait to start putting the plans together.

“Olivia?” Natalia quietly called, attempting to extract her from her internal tangent.

“Huh?” came the distracted reply.

“Where did you go?” Natalia chuckled, pinching Olivia’s chin between her thumb and forefinger.

Jade eyes quietly searched Natalia’s face, as the corners of Olivia’s mouth curled into a grin. “I was just thinking about the kind of date I wanna plan for you.”

“Any chance I’ll get a preview of your ideas?” Natalia smiled, her excitement growing.

“Nope,” Olivia answered playfully.

“Didn’t think so,” Natalia said quietly, gazing into Olivia’s eyes. “But whatever you decide, I know it’ll be perfect.”

Olivia tipped Natalia’s chin, steadying their gaze. “Thank you,” she whispered, kissing Natalia softly.

“Welcome,” Natalia whispered against Olivia’s lips. “Now I think we should probably get to these dishes,” she announced, smiling, as she playfully kissed her again.

“Probably,” Olivia agreed, snatching one more playful kiss before reaching for the towel on the counter next to the sink.

And with that, they began their kitchen ritual: Natalia washed, Olivia dried, and they argued about how to put things away.

Upstairs, Emma stomped her feet and giggled with glee when she found the wide-brimmed purple hat and matching scarf she was referring to during her conversation with her mommies earlier that morning. Grasping them firmly in her hands, she screamed excitedly, “I found ‘em, guys!” as she tore through the hallway, scampering down the stairs to show off her wares.

“No yelling. And don’t run down the stairs, Jellybean,” Olivia called from the kitchen for what seemed like the millionth time since they moved into the farmhouse two months prior. Has it really only been two months? It seems as though we’ve always been a family. And we always will be.

“You know, no matter how many times you warn her, she’s never gonna stop yelling and running,” Natalia grinned knowingly, playfully bumping Olivia’s hip with her own, as they stood side-by-side at the sink, continuing their kitchen ritual. “Especially when you’re yelling at her, telling her not to scream,” she pointed out, chuckling at the inconsistency. 

Olivia sighed. “I know,” she said exasperatedly, shoulders slumped, as she considered the utter futility of the warning, given Natalia’s well-argued point and the fact that Natalia herself had chased their daughter down those very same stairs earlier that morning. She turned toward Natalia, the corners of her mouth curling into a mischievous grin, “And you certainly don’t help when you chase her,” she teased, as she lightly snapped Natalia’s thigh with the towel in her hand.

“Hey,” Natalia protested, shooting a disgruntled look toward the other woman, as slippered feet came skidding into the kitchen, stopping dead in their tracks in front of Olivia.

Slowly, the little girl’s head elevated, sheepishly peering up at her mother with pitiful doe eyes. “Sorry for running and yelling, Mom,” she said guiltily. “I forgot.”

“Yeah, you seem to do that a lot,” Olivia chuckled, grinning down at her shamefaced daughter.

“Am I in trouble?” Emma asked cautiously, peering up at the woman who held her fate.

“No, Jellybean,” Olivia answered, shaking her head, as she smiled warmly at the anxious little girl. “Just try harder to remember, okay?” she prodded gently. “It really isn’t safe to be running down the stairs, especially in your slippers. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she patiently explained.

“Okay, Mom,” Emma agreed, nodding her head. “Sorry, again.”

Olivia tousled Emma’s hair, sending a message that all was well. “Why don’t you go pick out a movie?” she suggested, tipping her head toward the living room. “We’ll all cuddle on the couch in our jammies until it gets a little warmer outside, and then we’ll go build your snowwoman. M’kay?”

“M’kay,” Emma cheerfully agreed, a bright smile illuminating her sweet face. “It’ll be a surprise,” she announced, turning quickly, slippered feet scurrying out of the room like a secret agent on a mission.

Olivia sighed and rolled her eyes. “No running, Em,” she called after the forgetful little girl.

The next sound they heard was that of slippered feet, skidding to a halt once again. “Sorry, Mom,” Emma called from the living room. “And sorry for yelling, too.”

Olivia’s head dropped in defeat, as she leaned it against Natalia’s shoulder for support. 

“Told you so,” Natalia snickered, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Oh, shut up,” Olivia chuckled, grinning, as she pulled Natalia into a searing kiss, effectively quieting the teasing.

And when their kiss ended, leaving both women breathless and aching for more, Olivia arched an eyebrow, “Movie time?” she winked, her mind already contemplating the things she might get away with once the two of them were snuggled under their favorite blanket.

Natalia eyed her suspiciously, knowing full-well where Olivia’s mind had traveled. “Somehow, I think you could manage to turn Pocahontas into a porno,” she grinned, shaking her head. “Come on, Captain Obvious,” she sighed, taking the naughty-minded woman’s hand, leading her into the living room, “and don’t even try to tell me you weren’t thinking of ways to torment me while we’re under that blanket.”

“You got me,” Olivia said with a devilish grin, once again, fully admitting to her delicious guilt with those three familiar little words.

Natalia grunted, and pinned her with a look, almost daring her to misbehave.

“Alright, alright, you win. I’ll be good,” Olivia protested, throwing her hands up in surrender. “Geez, can’t a girl just have a little fun?!” she groused in jest. 

Natalia laughed at Olivia’s flair for the dramatic. “You’re ridiculous,” she teasingly accused with a soft chuckle and a confirmatory roll of the eyes.

“Yeah, I know, but you love me anyway,” she flirted, batting her eyelashes at the other woman.

Natalia rolled her eyes again, depositing the Object of her Delightful Undoing on the sofa. “Stay,” she ordered, with an authoritative stare and the calculated aiming of a finger.

Olivia felt the rapidly firing surges of undeniable want, hammering through her veins with the power and performance of an M2 machine gun, causing a feral growl to escape from deep within her lungs, as Natalia issued the forceful directive. She sat there, bolted to the sofa, unable to speak, as she stared at Object of her Deepest Desire.

And even in her acquiescent state, those smoldering jade eyes burned straight through the core of Natalia’s being, wielding control of her without need of either words or chains. 

Natalia felt the unmistakable tendrils of desire stirring deep within her abdomen. _How do you gain control of me with such force, without even touching me, when I was the one trying to keep You under control?_ she wondered, the intensity of those deep jade eyes welding her feet to the floor, rendering her speechless, almost breathless. 

The intensity of the moment lingered in the air that encompassed them, the only sound in the room being that of their labored breathing.

And then the tension snapped like a twig, as Emma came bounding down the stairs, tearing them from the moment, bringing them back to a reluctant reality. “I wanna watch _Beauty and the Beast_ ,” she announced, waving the DVD case in the air. “I hadda go find it in my room.” 

A derisive smirk twitched on Olivia’s lips, as reflective eyes slowly traced the soft curves and smooth planes of the other woman’s face, soaking in the beauty that was Natalia. “Quite apposite, wouldn’t you say?” she said, arching a defined eyebrow, the slightest hint of caustic sarcasm in her tone.

Emma registered the changing expression on her mother’s face, the inflection in her tone, and decided it best to just quietly slip the DVD into the player.

Unspoken message decoded, Natalia turned to Olivia, sensing the other woman’s momentary torment. “Don’t,” she quietly admonished, slowly shaking her head side-to-side, “You’re not that person anymore.”

Olivia nodded her head and pursed her lips. “But I was,” she quietly argued, “and I can’t change the things I’ve done.”

Natalia glanced at the perceptive little girl who stood there between them, soaking in their exchange like a sponge. “Emma, Honey, would you do me a favor, and go get your Mommy a glass of water?” she requested, knowing it would take the child several minutes to retrieve and fill the glass.

“Sure, Natalia,” Emma said brightly, pleased by the prospect of helping with her mother’s shifting mood.

“Lots of ice,” she added with the crinkling of her brow and the nod of her head, hoping to buy them some extra time.

“Okay,” Emma grinned amenably, sprinting off into the kitchen.

Scene averted, Natalia turned her attention back to Olivia. “You see That?” she said quietly, pointing toward the direction where Emma had disappeared, as she joined Olivia on the sofa. She gently cupped Olivia’s cheek in her hand, as she locked eyes with her, setting out on an impassioned discourse. “That is the true testament to who you are. That little girl, with all the joy in her spirit, all the love in her heart,” she sighed softly, and smiled, as she thought about Emma’s loving little heart, “A heart that’s almost too big, for her tiny body. She’s amazing, Olivia, and she’s yours. You did that. You created that beautiful, sweet, loving little girl. You taught her how to love, Unconditionally, how to find the joy in everything she does. She gets all those things, from you. And nothing so completely perfect, could come from someone who’s intrinsically bad,” she whispered reassuringly, taking Olivia’s hand into her own. “You, Olivia Spencer, are intrinsically good. Whether you see it or not, I do. And I see the goodness in you, reflected in your little girl. Emma is all the very best parts of you.”

Olivia’s heart swelled, overwhelmed by the passion in Natalia’s oration, and the tears began to flow. “Okay, so I’ve done one right thing in my life,” she cried softly, her heart and mind flooding with those moments that defined the connection she shared with her little girl, “but that doesn’t make up for all the mistakes I’ve made, all the people I’ve hurt along the way,” she argued, tears cascading down her cheeks. “I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, Natalia. You have no idea who I really am.”

Natalia exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, and shook her head in vehement disagreement, as she reached up, swiping at the tears with the pads of her thumbs. “I know exactly who you are, Olivia,” she quietly countered. “You are passionate, and powerful, you’re strong, confident, and fearless. God, you’re so fearless, and yet sometimes,” she said, her eyes fluttering closed, as she drew in a breath. And then, opening them again, she looked at Olivia with tears in her eyes, “Sometimes you’re so fragile that I think you might actually break,” she nearly whimpered, softly touching Olivia’s cheek.

“And all I wanna do is protect you, keep you safe,” she quietly declared, sniffing back her tears. She drew in another breath and exhaled slowly. “You’re kind and gentle, and you love more fiercely than anyone I’ve ever known. And you’re beautiful, God, you are so beautiful,” she exhaled, in a soft, nervous laugh, her breath catching in her chest, as the emotions threatened to overwhelm her, “Sometimes I think my heart will burst from just looking at you,” she breathed, her voice a strangled whisper. She crooked her index finger, tipping Olivia’s chin, as she met those shimmering jade eyes, “And as for those mistakes you’ve made, so have we all,” she empathized, knowing her own past transgressions were far from innocuous, “but we’ll survive our mistakes, together,” she encouraged. “Okay?”

Rendered completely speechless by the force of Natalia’s words, her declarations, slowly, Olivia nodded her head in agreement, as she sniffed back tears. _What did I ever do to deserve a love so perfect as yours?_

Natalia leaned closer then, her finger still supporting Olivia’s chin, as she placed a soft, reassuring kiss on the fullness of those perfect lips. “I love you, Olivia,” she quietly declared, the sincerity in those deep brown eyes reflecting the genuineness of her words, “for exactly who you are.” 

“I know,” came the tearful reply, as Olivia exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “And I love you more than you could possibly comprehend.” _I swear to you, I’m gonna love you like no one else ever has, like no one else ever will. I’ll make your world better than it’s ever been._

“I think I have a pretty good idea,” Natalia whispered, pulling Olivia into her arms, as she leaned back on the sofa, wrapping their blanket around them.

Olivia took Natalia’s hand into her own, distractedly playing with her fingers. “You did tame the beast, you know,” she said quietly, a knowing smile tiptoeing across her lips. 

Natalia smiled as she nuzzled against Olivia’s ear, “I know,” she whispered softly. “And I must say, your inner beast was quite the challenge,” she quietly acknowledged, “but I knew if I loved you enough, eventually you would give up the fight.”

Olivia sniffed back the tears that were forming as she listened to the tenderness in Natalia’s voice. “Thank you for not giving up on me,” she whispered.

“Giving up was never an option,” Natalia quietly declared. “You know I’m just as stubborn as you are,” she grinned.

“Word!” Olivia laughed, garnering a well-deserved slap on the arm, followed by a tight squeeze from Natalia, as they laughed together.

Emma walked in then, carrying the requested glass of water. She stopped in front of them, setting the glass down on the coffee table with a thump, and planted one hand firmly on her hip, “Are you guys done talking yet?” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “’Cause I was gettin’ kinda bored in there.” 

The two women chuckled once again at their daughter’s perceptiveness and candor, and Olivia reached out, playfully tousling the little girl’s hair. “Yes, Jellybean, we’re finished talking now,” she answered with a warm grin. “Ready to watch the movie?” she asked, flipping the blanket up, inviting her to join them.

“Yep,” Emma chirped, clambering onto the sofa, snuggling up next to her mother.

Olivia covered Emma with the blanket then, and resting her head against Natalia’s shoulder, she allowed Natalia to hold her close, as they settled in to watch the movie. 

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 1:30 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

After the movie, they went upstairs to get dressed for their winter playdate. “It’s really cold outside, Em, so make sure you dress warm,” Natalia directed, patting their daughter on the back as they reached the upper landing of the staircase. “Your pink sweats would be good,” she suggested, “and put on two pairs of your wool socks.”

“But my boots won’t fit,” Emma contended, scrunching up her face, as she turned back toward her two Mommies.

“It’ll be okay, Baby,” Natalia assured with a nod of her head. “We’ll work it out.”

“Okay,” Emma replied, a bright smile on her face, as she raced to her bedroom to get dressed, excited about their plans for the afternoon.

The corners of Olivia’s mouth curled into a grin, as they reached her bedroom door. “Two pairs of socks?” she questioned, arching an eyebrow, as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Mm-hm,” Natalia hummed, smiling up at Olivia, as she wrapped her arms around Olivia’s neck. “We don’t want her getting sick,” she reasoned.

Olivia’s hands instinctively found their way around Natalia’s waist, drawing her close. “No, we don’t,” she quietly agreed, leaning down, slowly kissing her way from Natalia’s neck to her ear, where she nibbled softly.

Natalia moaned softly, tilting her head to one side, allowing Olivia greater access. 

Never one to waste an opportunity, Olivia slowly, torturously, dragged the hot wetness of her tongue along Natalia’s throat, finding her pulse point, sucking lightly, then releasing, before trailing back to a waiting ear. “You were driving me completely crazy, the way you were touching me during the movie,” she whispered, her voice low and guttural, as slowly, seductively, she turned Natalia around, pressing her against the bedroom door, one hand reaching between their bodies, loosening the sash on the silken robe Natalia’s was wearing.

The sensuality engraved in Olivia’s voice caused Natalia’s breath to catch in her chest. She gasped, fingers twisting into the chestnut locks at the back of Olivia’s neck. “I couldn’t help myself,” she breathed in confession. “You have no idea how difficult it is to be that close to you and not touch you,” she nearly growled, as she guided Olivia back, claiming her mouth in a slow, meaningful kiss.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Olivia quietly countered, as their kiss ended. “You look beautiful wearing the color of royalty,” she whispered, searching Natalia’s eyes, fingers sliding along silky-smooth fabric. _You’ll look even More beautiful out of it_ , she thought, as her hands brushed the robe aside. “And I have ached to touch you every time you’ve worn it, since the day I gave it to you,” she growled, watching Natalia’s eyes burn black with desire, as fingers slipped beneath the fabric of Natalia’s t-shirt, gliding up her torso to just beneath her breasts, where thumbs gently caressed the soft skin they discovered. 

Natalia whimpered at the contact, a melodious moan escaping burning lungs, as Olivia quickly gained her revenge for the torture she had endured at the other woman’s hands. She marveled at the warmth of Natalia’s skin under her fingers, as she drew Natalia into another slow, torturous kiss, gently sucking on her tongue.

“What are you doing to me?” Natalia groaned, a wave of liquid heat gushing between her legs, as Olivia pressed firmly against her. She swore she could feel it trickling down her thigh, before Olivia slipped a satin-covered knee between her legs. Then she was certain.

Olivia groaned, as she felt the slick wetness penetrate the leg of her pajama bottoms, the torturous heat reaching the skin of her upper thigh. “Exacting my revenge,” she answered, brushing her tongue over Natalia’s bottom lip, before gently biting down.

Natalia sucked in a sharp breath. “Olivia, please,” she pleaded, her voice barely a stifled moan, as wandering hands slipped down the Olivia’s back, fingers digging into satin-covered muscles. Those muscles contracted under Natalia’s touch, causing the sharp intake of air into Olivia’s lungs, as Natalia’s own body quaked, her knees giving way. _You are the Complete undoing of me._

The pleading cadence in Natalia’s voice, and the sensation of those fingers excavating her back sent a surge of wetness and heat through Olivia’s own body, pooling in her center. “Please, what?” she groaned, her tongue brushing over Natalia’s lip again, before drawing Natalia into a slow, open-mouthed kiss, strong hands tightening their grip on her torso.

_Please touch me._

“Please… We have to stop,” she whimpered, grudgingly pulling away from their kiss, leaning her forehead against Olivia’s chest, as she gasped for air, silently willing her heart to calm down. 

Olivia grunted in frustration, knowing she had only herself to blame. Yes, she had been more than a little worked up from Natalia’s explorations on the sofa, but she knew from experience, exactly how to tamp down the flames of desire, confining them to a slow burn, rather than willfully coaxing them into a raging inferno. But she had ignored what she knew, instead, giving in to the temptation to play this little game with Natalia, and now she was paying the price. More than that, so was Natalia. She realized the unfairness of her actions, and offered a quiet apology.

“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn’t mean to,” she whispered. “Well, I did mean to, but I shouldn’t have,” she said, with a short, nervous laugh, as she backtracked, taking responsibility for her willful decision. 

“Don’t apologize, Olivia,” Natalia said quietly. “I’m the one who got you all worked up before, and now we’re both frustrated, and Emma will be out here any minute, ready to go play in the snow and we’re still standing here in our pajamas, and…”

Olivia grasped Natalia’s shoulders firmly. “Hey,” she interrupted, gently shaking the rambling woman into silence. “Stop it. Okay?” she said quietly, willing Natalia into calm with the steadiness of her gaze.

Natalia drew in a deep breath, and nodded her head in compliance, as Emma emerged from her bedroom, clad in the appropriate attire.

Olivia shifted in front of Natalia when she heard Emma’s door open, sheltering her from questioning eyes.

Natalia cleared her throat nervously, quickly closing her robe, and affixing the sash.

“Why aren’t you guys dressed yet?” she huffed, peering up at them with a disgruntled expression. “Did you need to talk again?”

Olivia tossed a knowing glance toward Natalia, and chuckled, reaching down to tickle her daughter under the chin. “No, Baby,” she grinned, shaking her head, “Natalia and I have done enough, Uh, talking for one morning.” she assured. “We’re gonna go get dressed now. Okay?”

Curious eyes scanned the two women carefully, finally landing on the contrasting dark blue patches on the leg of Olivia’s pale blue satin pajama bottoms. “Mommy?”

“Yeah, Baby?” Olivia said distractedly.

“Why are your pajama bottoms all wet?” 

“Huh? What?” _Fuck…_

Natalia shifted nervously, dark eyes bouncing from mother to daughter back to mother again.

Quick thinking brought Olivia what she deemed a plausible explanation. “Oh, it must have dripped from my glass of ice water. You know, condensation,” she reasoned.

“Oh—” Emma said, inquiring eyes traveling to discoloration on her other mother’s clothing. “Mommy?”

Olivia grinned. “Yeah, Baby?” she said, fully anticipating a question about the meaning of the word condensation.

“Did it drip on Natalia’s robe, too?”

Olivia’s breath caught short, as Natalia’s face flushed crimson.

“Uh… Sure,” she gulped, nearly choking, as Natalia buried her face in Olivia’s chest for a moment.

Clearing her throat then, to hide her embarrassment, Natalia drew in a deep breath. “Run downstairs, Baby, find your boots,” she instructed, reaching down, tousling Emma’s hair.

Olivia made a face at her.

Natalia made a face right back, shrugging her shoulders as if to say, _Hey, I diverted her from the questions, didn’t I?_ “Walk downstairs, find your boots,” she corrected, grinning at Olivia.

We’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Emma eyed them up and down again, surveying the damage. “You guys are messy,” she announced, rolling her eyes at the two of them, as she bounded down the stairs.

They fell into laughter, Natalia pressing her forehead against Olivia’s chest, as Olivia wrapped her arms around, and rested her cheek against Natalia’s temple.

“We really need to work on timing and appropriateness,” Natalia sighed. 

“I know,” Olivia agreed, her cheeks puffing up as she drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, an attempt to calm her body. “We should get dressed, and get her outside, before she can ask any more questions,” she suggested, a small grin teasing on her lips.

Natalia nodded her head against Olivia’s chest, signaling her agreement. “Yeah,” she breathed, reluctantly pulling back from the closeness of their embrace, and resting her hands against Olivia’s chest.

Hands on Natalia’s hips, Olivia found Natalia’s dark eyes. “You really do look beautiful in purple,” she whispered, the sincerity in those jade eyes nearly melting Natalia’s heart. She smiled softly then, “I’m just glad I can finally tell you that now. I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever.”

“Oh, I’ve had my share of unspoken thoughts, too, Honey,” Natalia confessed, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

“Like what?” Olivia inquired, those seductive eyes flickering, as she grinned and arched a curious eyebrow.

“Clothing. Now,” Natalia ordered, pinning Olivia with a challenging stare.

“What, you want me to help you out of them?” Olivia grinned devilishly.

“You are completely incorrigible,” Natalia grinned, using the statement as an exit phrase, as she slipped out of Olivia’s arms, walking toward her bedroom.

“So I’ve been told,” Olivia winked, smiling at the familiarity of the phrase, as she turned the handle on her door.

Reaching her bedroom door, Natalia turned, dark eyes slowly perusing the length of Olivia’s body. “You look absolutely stunning in those satin pajamas, your hair all mussed from sleep,” she said quietly, holding to the safety of the distance she had placed between them, as she finally confessed long-held thoughts. “I’ve been thinking that since the first time I walked into your suite, finding you asleep in them.”

Transfixed by the cadence of Natalia’s voice, the organic honestly of her confession, Olivia’s breath caught in her chest, rendering her speechless, as Natalia tore those piercing eyes away, turning to enter her bedroom.

Olivia nearly collapsed against her door, the air in her lungs expelling in a frenzied rush, as her eyes clamped shut, causing hot tears to trickle down her cheeks. She sighed softly, overwhelmed by the emotions that surged through her heart. _You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and even if we were immortal, still, there wouldn’t be enough time to show you how much I love you._

She covered her face with her hands, sniffing back the tears, as she wiped the salty moisture from her cheeks. And raising her eyes toward the sky, Olivia Spencer issued forth a quiet prayer of thanksgiving, for the second time in one snowy winter’s morning. 

* * *

Closing her bedroom door behind her, Natalia leaned her back against it, her eyes shuttering, as heated breath rushed from her lungs. _This is only day three. At this rate, I won’t last the week, if you don’t stop doing that to me._

She sighed, pushing herself away from the door. _Maybe it will be easier, once we’re not cooped up it the house all day_ , she thought, as she walked toward her dresser to pull out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. _Oh, who am I kidding?_

She paused in front of the mirror, her eyes fixed on the silver cross that adorned her long, graceful neck. Lifting her right hand, attentive fingers found the cross, gliding across the smooth surface, as she dragged a long sigh from her lungs. “I really need your help here, God,” she said, talking to her Creator. “You know how much I love her, how much I want to share this life with her. We’ve talked about it, incessantly, for the better part of a year,” she gently reminded. “And now she’s standing here in front of me, offering me everything I’ve ever wanted, and I’m so scared—scared that I’ll ruin it by moving too far, too fast,” she quietly admitted.

“You know me, God. Everything I do is glacial. At least that’s what she calls it. And she’s right, You know. I can’t even pick out a new paint color without praying about it for six months—that’s why the staircase and exterior accents of this house are still that putrid green. But, I digress… The one time I really need to be glacial, I’m literally melting this glacier of mine, right out from under my own feet!” she exclaimed.

Drawing in a deep breath, she continued, “She does things to me, that I cannot even comprehend. No one has ever made me feel so completely unbalanced, and yet so perfectly secure, in the very same moment, with nothing more than the simple touch of a hand, or the whispering of my name,” she quietly confessed, closing her eyes to stave off the feelings evoked by the mere thought of her.

“So, here’s the deal,” she sighed, “I’ve pretty much kept my hormones under control, like I promised, since Rafe was born, but clearly, I’m not capable of doing that on my own anymore. Not with Olivia Spencer, not with the way she penetrates my soul with those eyes, and the ways she kisses me. She drives me insane,” she paused, flustered by the images racing around in her head, and let out a frustrated groan.

“Look, I love you, Lord, and I want to continue living my life in a way that pleases you, but I seriously think I might self-combust, if I don’t find a way to control this thing. So, what I really need, is for you to give me an extra big helping of self-control—and Olivia, a whole lot of patience, ‘cause patience is definitely not her virtue,” she smiled, knowing Olivia would willingly agree with her assessment of the relationship she had with the notion of waiting—for anything, really.

“I’ve waited a lifetime for a love so perfect as this,” she whispered, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill, “and I want it to last until I draw my final breath. So, if you would help me get it right, I’ll once again, be forever in Your debt. Thank you, God,” she said sincerely, “for listening to me, loving me, and always being here to help me when I need you. Amen.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the weight of the world fall from her shoulders as she finished her prayer. And with that, she let go of the cross, and set about getting dressed for an afternoon of playing in the snow with her two favorite girls.

* * *

Olivia walked to her dresser, pulling out a pair of smoky gray warm-ups and a matching hoodie. _You like the way I look in this. I know, because I’ve seen the way you look at me when I wear it._ She smiled at the thought and continued her search for appropriate attire. “Two pairs of socks,” she said quietly, remembering the concern in Natalia’s voice when she told Emma to wear the same.

And then she heard Natalia’s voice, the soft familiar lilt that she took on when she prayed. She wondered at the ease with which the Believer seemed to just enter into prayer, as if she were having an actual conversation with God.

A conversation.

With _God_.

Like He was actually someone one could talk with about things.

It was nothing she ever considered possible. For her, at least since her teenage years, God had felt more like a judgmental dictator, than the Father and best friend that Natalia had described. She wondered if it could ever be that effortless for her. Even just the short thank you blurbs to God, seemed to take a concerted effort on her part, though, it pleased her to think, that these days, it was getting easier.

She stopped; a bit taken aback by the fact that Natalia had been talking with God about her feelings for almost a year, and then a soft chuckle escaped when Natalia mentioned her glacial pace in life. _Yeah, that hideous green really needs to go_ , she silently agreed. _What was Cassie thinking?_

A sense of peace and contentment washed over her, as Natalia talked about the feelings she brought out in Natalia, and then she nearly choked when the subject of hormones was thrown out there. _Jesus Christ! You really do talk to God about everything!_

That thought was quickly followed by a silent apology—one that took her completely off guard, as it was something Natalia, not Olivia, would do. And then her heart nearly broke at the mixture of sincerity and desperation in Natalia’s voice, as she talked about how much she loved God, and wanted to please Him with the way she lived her life.

_I’ve made this So hard for you_ , she sighed, discontented with her part in Natalia’s struggle. And finally, she couldn’t help but laugh, as the subject turned to her complete aversion to the concept of patience. _You know me so well. Better than anyone ever has, or ever will._

As Natalia’s prayer ended, Olivia found herself bolted to her bed. The sincerity in the Believer’s voice was nearly heart-stopping, and Olivia felt overwhelmed by the power of it all.

Once she was able to move again, she finished getting dressed, then waited until she heard Natalia’s bedroom door open and close. She heard the familiar clip of Natalia’s feet on the wide hardwood planks, and then came the soft rapping on her door.

“Olivia, Baby, are you ready?” called the familiar voice.

She closed her eyes, smiling softly. “I’ll be down in a minute, Sweetheart,” she answered, buying just a bit of time.

“Okay. We’ll be waiting,” came the response, and Olivia could almost hear the quiet smile that played on Natalia’s lips as she answered.

And as she listened to the sounds of Natalia’s descent into their living room, she sat back down on her bed, drawing in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as she garnered the nerve to pray.

“Okay, God,” she sighed in salutation, eyes lifted toward the sky once again, “here goes… I don’t have any of those rosary beads she’s always clutching, and I don’t have a crucifix, or one of those little statues, either. I’ve never read your manual, and I don’t even honestly know if you’re listening to me, but just in case you are, I have to try, because I love her more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being,” she confessed, the true depth of her love for Natalia nearly overwhelming her.

“She makes me happy, and you know how thankful I am for her. I already told you that a couple of times, though, not quite so eloquently as she but, hey, at least I’m tryin’ here. So, look, here’s my deal: I know I have no right to ask for your help, especially after being so angry with you for the way you answered my last request, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because I’m desperate here, but more than that, because I wanna do right by her. She’s right about me, you know. I have absolutely no patience, whatsoever. I want what I want, and I never wait for anything. So I know you probably think it’s weird, the idea of me, Olivia Spencer, wanting to do right by someone else, instead of looking out for my own needs. Believe me, it’s weird for me, too,” she said, almost unable to fathom the concept.

“But… it’s different with her. She is so worth the wait. She’s worth everything we’ve been through and more,” she said, her voice softening.

“So, yeah, if you could just give me some of that patience, I would be ever so grateful. And I promise you, I’ll do anything and everything to protect her and make her happy, until the moment I draw my final breath,” she quietly vowed.

Then, remembering how Natalia had finished her prayer, Olivia said, “Oh, and thank you for listening to me, and for loving me—Natalia says you do, so I’m gonna choose to believe her on that. Umm… so that’s about it. Amen,” she finished with a nod of her head.

Feeling rather confident that her prayer had gone well, Olivia silently considered other barriers. _Okay, so maybe it isn’t so much that the praying is difficult, but rather, the difficulty lies in believing God listens, and will answer_ , she surmised, mulling over the issue of faith.

She characteristically pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, as she exhaled slowly. _So if I can choose to believe what Natalia says about God loving me, then I can choose to believe He’ll listen and answer_ , she determined, not really certain she believed it, but thinking that if she told it to herself enough, she could will it to be true. 

She stood up from her bed then, quickly brushing her hands down the sides of her warm-ups. And with that, determination in her stride, she walked toward the door, heading downstairs to join her family.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 2:00 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Arriving in the mud room, Olivia found Emma perched on the bench, Natalia crouched down in front of her, wrapping little feet in old bread wrappers. “What are you doing?” she asked, her brow furrowing in befuddlement.

Natalia glanced up at her and smiled. “The plastic will keep her feet from getting wet,” she tutored.

Emma sent her mother a pleading look, and Olivia shrugged her shoulders, shooting Natalia a baffled look of her own. “O-kay…” she said skeptically, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it. “Two pairs of socks, and now this? Natalia, those are her feet, not mini loaves of Wonder Bread!”

Natalia sighed, a mustard seed of defensiveness beginning to sprout inside her. She closed her eyes, stifling the urge to argue, then slowly elevated her gaze toward Olivia. “You grew up on an island, with sandy beaches and balmy breezes, and never even a hint of cold weather, let alone snow,” she said calmly, merely stating the facts. “ _I_ grew up on the South side of Chicago, with ice-covered streets and bitterly cold winds, where even the most innocuous of snowstorms meant at least a foot of snow, and a lot of cold, wet feet. So, would you just trust me on this?” 

Raising her hands in surrender, Olivia conceded. “Point taken. You win,” she smiled, sending Emma a glance that begged her to comply.

“Glad to hear it,” Natalia replied with a grin, “because your bread wrappers are right over there,” she informed, pointing toward the end of the bench. “And I hope you put on two pairs of socks.”

“Yes, Ma’am, I did,” Olivia chuckled, dropping down onto the bench, as she reached over, grabbing the bread wrappers. “What, have you been saving these all year?” she asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice, as she shook her head.

Natalia pinned her with a look, then quickly turned her attention back to Emma. “Push your foot down, Jellybean,” she instructed, as she attempted to slip their daughter’s boots onto her feet.

Emma pushed her foot against Natalia’s hand, as instructed, and her foot slipped into place. “That’s good,” Natalia smiled, reaching for their daughter’s other boot.

Bread wrappers in place, Olivia grinned, reaching under the bench to grab her two-textured, brown leather hiking boots. She slipped the first one on, just as Natalia looked her way.

Brown eyes stopped, widening in disbelief. “Do those boots seriously have the Gucci crest on them?”

Olivia grinned proudly, sitting up straight. “Yes, they do,” she said with an air of sophistication. “And I must say, I’m rather impressed that you recognize it. You’re learning,” she winked. 

“Gucci hiking boots,” Natalia said, with a roll of her eyes. “What’s next, a Jimmy Choo backpack?” she muttered. 

Olivia shook her head back and forth. “Oh, no, Jimmy Choo has a lot of handbags, but no backpacks,” she reported in a serious voice. “My backpack is Louis Vuitton.”

Ignoring Olivia for a brief moment, Natalia focused on Emma. “You’re all set, Jellybean,” she said, patting her daughter’s leg after sliding her other boot into place. “Now let’s get your coat on,” she directed.

As Emma stood up to get her coat, Natalia looked up at Olivia from her crouched position, forearms resting on her knees, waiting for their daughter to slip the coat on. “Dare I ask how much those set you back?” she said, shaking her head.

“Oh, they were a steal. Only paid a thousand for ‘em,” Olivia answered casually, as she slipped the second boot on, and set about lacing it up.

Natalia’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “You paid. A thousand dollars. For a pair of hiking boots?!” she said incredulously, as she reached up, buttoning Emma’s coat, and distractedly slipping a hat on her head. 

Olivia just looked at her. “Well, I suppose I could have eased the pain on my wallet, by buying them one at a time, but, I think I would’ve looked rather silly hopping down the hiking trails on one foot, while I waited for the second boot to arrive,” she said, with a hint of teasing sarcasm.

Natalia made a face at her. “You’re ridiculous,” she announced, as she helped Emma put on her gloves.

“So you keep telling me,” Olivia grinned, standing up, reaching for her coat. She slipped her arms into the sleek brown leather bomber jacket, shrugging her shoulders to adjust it properly.

Natalia inspected the little girl closely, the abundance of winter outerwear making her look much like the abominable snowman. “Okay, Em, you’re good to go,” she announced. “Run on outside. We’ll be there in a minute. Don’t go near the pond,” she warned.

“I won’t,” Emma promised.

She squealed, grabbed the purple hat and scarf for her snowwoman, and dashed out the back door, hitting the snow with more force than a plow, as Natalia turned her attention back to Olivia, grinning up at her. “Lemme guess, that’s Gucci, too?” she teased.

Olivia shook her head in denial. “Prada,” she corrected with a smirk, zipping the jacket up, then snapping up the overlay, and finally, buckling the belt at the waist.

“Do you own anything that isn’t designer?” Natalia asked, shaking her head.

“Well, these warm-ups aren’t designer,” she grinned.

Natalia eyed the familiar “swoosh” embroidered on the left leg of the warm-ups, and laughed. “Olivia, these are Nike warm-ups,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, at least they’re not Dolce & Gabbana.”

Natalia pinned her with a look. “Put your hat on.”

Olivia grinned, and slipped on the light brown knit cap, the one that covered the outer edges of her eyebrows, and pulled down over her ears, leaving just the tips of her lobes sticking out.

Natalia sighed contentedly, as she peered up at Olivia wearing that hat. Everything else she was wearing was designer, but it was that simple knit cap that made Natalia’s heart, skip a beat. She grabbed Olivia’s scarf from the bench, and stood up, her knees popping as she straightened them. And tugging the hood of Olivia’s sweatshirt from inside the back of the jacket, she adjusted it like a mother hen. Then, flipping the scarf around Olivia’s neck, she pulled her close. “I love the hat,” she whispered, smiling up at her.

Olivia slipped her arms around Natalia’s waist. “Oh, you do?” she flirted, arching an eyebrow, which only made that hat all the more appealing. 

“I do,” Natalia confirmed with a wink. “You could spend ten grand on an outfit, and I don’t think you could look any sexier than you do in that hat.”

Olivia’s lips twitched into a smile. “You do realize that I’ll still be wearing this hat, when we go to the pool this summer,” she intoned. 

A contemplative grin teased at Natalia’s lips, as she conjured the image up in her head. “Hm… Olivia Spencer on a lounge chair, wearing nothing but a bikini… and that hat.” 

The look on her face gave her thoughts away, and Olivia smirked. “Enjoying the image?” she teased, the slightest hint of conceit in her voice.

“You have no idea,” Natalia all but growled. _That thought will cost me a dozen Hail Mary’s, but God, I hope summer gets here soon._

Remembering Natalia’s heartfelt plea to God, Olivia passed on the open opportunity to turn the moment into another mini-seduction scene. “I think I have some idea,” she said quietly, leaving the usual flirty lilt out of her voice. She searched the dark eyes that peered into her own, and smiled softly. _My thoughts mirror your own._ “Now let’s get your coat on,” she suggested, reaching over to collect Natalia’s coat from the hook. “Our daughter is waiting for us.”

Natalia nodded her head in agreement, and allowed Olivia to hold her coat as she slipped her arms inside. “Thank you,” she said quietly, as Olivia turned her around, buttoning the coat for her.

“My pleasure,” Olivia smiled, slipping a scarf around Natalia’s neck, pulling her close, almost a mirror image of what had been done to her a few minutes earlier. Then, reaching out, she gently touched Natalia’s cheek. “Whatever it takes, Natalia, we’re gonna get this right,” she quietly promised, gazing into expressive brown eyes.

Natalia smiled up at her, reveling in the sensation of those fingers on her cheek. “That’s really random, Olivia, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear.” 

Olivia brushed her thumb across Natalia’s lower lip, as she searched the softness of those deep brown eyes, noting the golden flecks that shined back into her own. “There’s nothing random about it at all,” she whispered knowingly.

She tipped Natalia’s chin then, and leaned in, tenderly kissing one perfectly defined dimple, then the other, before covering Natalia’s mouth with a soft, meaningful kiss.

And when the kiss ended, she reached into Natalia’s pockets, retrieving the gloves she knew would be there, and handing them to her, before slipping her own gloves on. 

“Let’s go play in the snow,” she grinned, her features taking on a childlike glow, as she took Natalia’s gloved hand in her own, leading her out the back door. 

And standing outside, staring across a valley illuminated in a wintry cover of God’s brilliance, Natalia wondered at the subtle change in Olivia’s demeanor, and smiled, knowing, as she had in the past, that each and every change in Olivia was a part of the mysterious workings of their Maker.

Sending up a quiet acknowledgment, she squeezed Olivia’s hand, and pulled her out into the snow.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 3:15 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

“That’s good, Em, just keep rolling and packing,” Natalia instructed, watching her daughter work on the head for her snowwoman. “Remember, this one should be smaller than the first two.” 

“I know,” Emma chirped happily, her breath puffing out in little foggy clouds as she exerted herself. She had been willing to accept help from her mommies on the two bigger balls, but this one, she insisted upon handling herself. “It’s almost big enough,” she announced.

“Wow, really is cold out here,” Olivia announced, returning from a quick trip inside to retrieve the final accessories for Emma’s snowwoman, and a snow shovel to clear the walkway. 

“Find everything?” Natalia asked, chuckling at Emma’s tussle with the giant snowball.

“Not exactly,” Olivia confessed, “We’ll have to improvise a bit.”

“Do I even wanna know?” Natalia teased, tossing a sideways glance at Olivia.

Olivia laughed softly. “It’ll be fine,” she assured. “I added another log to the fire, so it should be good for a while,” she said, moving the shovel handle to the crook in her arm, as she covered her face with her gloved hands to force some of the heat from her breath onto her cold cheeks. 

“Perfect. Thank you,” Natalia said appreciatively.

Natalia glanced at her again, noting the snow shovel in her hand. “And just what, exactly, are you planning to do with that?” she asked, attempting to use sarcasm to cover her fear.

“I’m planning to clear the walk,” Olivia said, furrowing her brow, as she provided the clearly obvious answer.

“Oh, no, you’re not!” Natalia argued adamantly. “You are not doing anything of the sort! Give me that,” she demanded, reaching for the handle.

“What is wrong with you?” Olivia snapped, casting a glance mixed with confusion and slight annoyance Natalia’s direction, as she yanked the handle away.

Natalia’s face shifted from anxiousness to anger in a split second, passing up any positive emotions in the flash of those dark, stormy eyes.

_Okay, clearly the wrong words and wrong tone to use with her_ , Olivia realized the instant they made their exodus from her lips.

“What’s wrong with me?!” Natalia screeched incredulously, eyes flashing. “I don’t want you to die!” she said through clenched teeth, attempting to keep the heated conversation from their daughter’s earshot.

“I’m not going to die from shoveling snow, Natalia,” Olivia quietly rejoined. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Natalia pinned her with that look, the one that told her she had chosen yet another unwise thing to say.

_Uh-oh…_

“So you think the fact that I’m worried about losing you, is ridiculous.”

“Please don’t put words in my mouth,” Olivia said, surprising even herself with the level of calm in her voice, as she tilted her head, just the slightest hint of a smile at the corners of her lips. “That isn’t what I said.”

“You might as well have,” Natalia retorted. “And don’t tilt your head at me like that, tryin’ to look all endearing,” she said, with a dramatic wave of an arm.

Olivia wanted to ask the temperamental woman if she was PMSing, but given the idiocy of her previous comments, she thought better of it, and took a breath to gather her thoughts before speaking again. “I don’t wanna fight with you, Natalia,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry that I upset you.” 

The tender sincerity in Olivia’s voice helped to calm Natalia’s edgy nerves. She sighed softly, and looked up, finding those jade eyes. “I’m sorry, too, Olivia,” she said apologetically. “It’s just that this snow is really wet. That’s what makes it great for making a snowwoman, but that’s also what makes it more dangerous, when it comes to shoveling. It’s a lot heavier than the powdery stuff, and I just I don’t want you to overexert your heart,” she explained. 

The corners of Olivia’s lips curled into an almost devilish grin, as she pulled Natalia close. “Well, what do you think is gonna happen to my heart when we have sex?” she whispered. “Do you think it won’t get exerted from that?”

“Huh? What?” Natalia sputtered, taken slightly aback by the shift in conversation.

“Well, it isn’t gonna stay calm, that’s for damned sure,” Olivia smirked. “You cause palpitations just by kissing me,” she whispered, almost clandestinely.

Natalia blushed and stammered, grasping for a response. “Well, I—I’ve heard of a lot more people having heart attacks while shoveling snow, than while having sex,” she said under her breath.

Olivia arched a well-defined eyebrow. “Obviously, they’ve never had sex with me,” she smirked.

“Olivia!” Her name was quickly followed by a well-earned slap to the arm.

“I’m just sayin’,” Olivia grinned devilishly.

Natalia sighed, feeling flustered, as she closed her eyes. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you, Olivia,” she quietly confessed. “When you collapsed outside Company that day,” she said, breath catching in her chest from the emotions that were rising, as the unshed tears in her eyes began to sting against the cold, “and you weren’t breathing, and I thought I had lost you, I thought I would die too.”

Olivia pulled her close, tipping her chin. “But I didn’t die, Natalia. I’m fine,” she quietly comforted, cupping Natalia’s cheek in a gloved hand. “I’ve never felt better in my life, and I would never do anything to jeopardize our future together. I’m not going anywhere, Sweetheart. I promise.”

Looking into Olivia’s eyes, Natalia could see the sincerity in her promise, but still, she wasn’t willing to take chances. “Just let me worry about the walkway, okay?” she quietly pleaded. “Please?”

Unable to deny this woman anything, Olivia relented, her eyes fluttering closed, as she nodded her agreement. “No snow shovels. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Natalia whispered, tipping up on her toes, kissing Olivia softly.

They turned their attention back to their daughter, then, finding her finishing the snowwoman’s head.

“Great job, Jellybean!” Olivia declared, as she watched the little girl packing and smoothing the snow like Natalia had demonstrated earlier.

“Thanks, Mom!” Emma exclaimed excitedly. She surveyed her work. “I think it’s big enough now,” she declared. “Will you help me put it on top?”

“You bet, Baby,” Olivia replied with a smile, as she and Natalia trampled through the snow to reach the snowwoman.

They crouched down together to lift the ball of snow, setting it in place.

“Did you get her other ‘cessories, Mom?” Emma asked, peering up at her mother.

Olivia smiled at the botched word. “Her accessories,” Olivia patiently tutored, “are in that bag on the front porch,” she informed. “Go grab it, and we’ll get her all dolled up.”

“Cool!” Emma said excitedly, trudging through the snow to retrieve the bag.

Natalia glanced at the bag in Emma’s hands, and her head immediately shot toward its owner. “Really, Olivia? A Victoria’s Secret bag?” she said, shaking her head disbelievingly.

“Well, it was the only bag I could find,” Olivia whined, bouncing like a fussy child. “And there’s nothing wrong with that bag,” she argued.

“I like this bag,” Emma interjected, as she went about fishing through it, discovering its unusual treasures. “It’s all pink and white and cute.”

“See?” Olivia countered, shrugging her shoulders, using Emma’s remark to prove her point. “It’s a great bag. And hey, at least it’s not from that tawdry little sex shop in town,” she whispered.

“And just what do you know about that shop?” Natalia inquired, giving her that look.

“Nothing,” Olivia was quick to deny, raising her hand in defense. “Not a thing. Never been near it, I swear. I just noticed Blake Marler walking in there as I drove by the other day,” she said, patting herself on the back for successfully diverting the attention onto someone else.

Natalia eyed her up and down, then grunted.

“Oh, shut up,” Olivia said teasingly, arching an eyebrow. “You’re just flustered because you’re wondering if I’m wearing what was in that bag,” she smirked. She leaned over toward Natalia. “Just for the record,” she whispered seductively, “I am…” 

Natalia pinned her with a look. “You are pure evil, Olivia Spencer.”

Olivia just laughed.

“What am I ‘aposed to do with this stuff, Mommy?” Emma asked, scrunching up her face, as curiosity got the better of her.

Olivia hunkered down in front of her daughter, resting her forearms on her knees. “Well, she needs a nose, and I couldn’t find any carrots, so I brought this plastic traffic bollard that I found in the barn. It’s orange.”

“But it’s bigger than her head, Mommy,” Emma said, giving her mother a pitying look for the apparent loss of reasoning.

Natalia covered her mouth, to stop the laughter from bubbling out.

“Well, yes,” Olivia calmly agreed, bobbing her head, a deliberately persuasive tone in her voice, “but we can just pop the top off,” she said, accentuating the word ‘pop’, as she pulled the cap off the bollard. “See? Now it’s little enough to fit on her face.”

Emma looked at her skeptically, taking the bollard cap, and grinding it into the snowwoman’s face, as Natalia held the head, lest it fall off from the pressure. She surveyed it for a moment, to ensure it stayed in place, then turned back to her mother. “Okay, what’s next?”

“Pull the next thing out of the bag,” Olivia instructed with an excited grin.

Emma reached in, pulling out a pair of her swim goggles, the kind that only covers the eyes.

“They’re purple, so they’ll match her hat and scarf,” Olivia pointed out, pleased with her find. “Oh, and I have these,” she said, reaching into the bag, retrieving a half-eaten jar of black olives.

She received another set of pitying looks for her efforts. “What?” she said, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of them. “You said she had to have dark eyes, like Natalia’s, Em, so we’ll put the black olives on for her eyes. Like this,” she explained, slipping a glove off to pop two of the olives out of the jar, poking them into the snowwoman’s face. “And then cover them with your purple goggles.”

Natalia grinned at Olivia’s childlike exuberance, and helped Emma put the goggles on.

“She looks like Snoopy, in Red Baron mode, getting ready for takeoff,” Natalia declared, after the goggles were in place.

Olivia laughed. “Yeah, she kinda does.”

“What’s a Snoopy?” Emma inquired, brow furrowed.

“Never mind,” came the united response, as the two women shook their heads in unison. 

Emma stood back, hand on her hip, as she examined their progress. “What about her mouth?” she asked.

“That,” Olivia said with an enthusiastic grin, “is where these come in,” she announced, pulling out a bag of Skittles, holding them up like a prized trophy.

“Skittles?” Natalia said, arching an eyebrow.

Olivia peered up at Natalia from her crouched position. “Hey… taste the rainbow, Baby,” she smirked, lowering her voice two registers, as she shrugged her shoulders and wiggled her eyebrows at Natalia.

She opened the bag, handing it to Emma. “Just poke these into the snow, forming a smile, Jellybean,” she instructed.

Emma took the proffered bag, and set to work, occasionally popping a few of the Skittles into her mouth, as her two Mommies continued their conversation.

“Why do I get the feeling that’s supposed to be dirty?” Natalia sighed, shaking her head, as she rolled her eyes.

Olivia shot her a devilish grin. “You’re a big fan of Google. Just search that phrase and the letters LGBT,” she suggested. “You’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Oh, I’m fairly certain you will eventually,” Olivia winked.

Natalia just stared at her, once again feeling flustered, without really knowing how or why. _You make me dizzy._

Olivia watched the shifting of thoughts and emotions, and knowing full-well what was going on behind those dark brown eyes, her mind let out a sigh. _I’m not very Good at this ‘being good’ thing._

Turning her attention back to Emma, Olivia pulled out the next item in her bag of tricks. “Here, Baby. She needs some buttons down her front. Use these,” she directed, handing her daughter a box of multicolored mini-DVDs. “And make sure you use all the colors in the rainbow.”

“What is it with you, and this rainbow obsession?”

“What?” Olivia countered, feigning innocence. “I just want our snowwoman to feel like family,” Olivia defended, that knowing grin teasing at her lips, as Emma busied herself with the discs, first placing a red disc on, then an orange, a yellow, then green and blue, and finally, purple.

“All done, Mommy,” Emma announced proudly, swiping her hands together in celebration of her accomplishment.

“Guess I’m supposed to Google that, too, huh?” Natalia surmised, shooting Olivia a look of slight annoyance.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “You’ll be a Google expert before we’re finished with this thing,” she winked, turning her attention back to Emma. “Ready to put her hat and scarf on, Jellybean?”

“She still needs her arms, Mommy,” Emma announced.

“Well, go find those sticks we picked out earlier,” Olivia instructed, standing from her crouched position. “I think we left them near the front porch.”

Emma trudged off through the snow, in search of her sticks, as Natalia picked up their conversation again. “You really need to stop talking to Doris. Every time you see that woman you come home with another random comment that makes no sense to anyone outside of gay world.”

“Ooh, _GayWorld_. Sounds like an amusement park,” Olivia quipped, grinning devilishly.

Natalia pinned her with that look again. “I don’t find it very amusing,” she countered, voice monotone.

“Ohh, come on. Could be fun,” Olivia said, with the deliberate raising of an eyebrow. “Though, I hear _Bi-World_ has twice as many rides.”

“Olivia,” came the admonishment.

Olivia wiped the teasing smirk off of her face, and turned serious again. “How do you know I’ve been talking to Doris, and not Dinah or Blake?”

Natalia’s eyes popped wide open, as her jaw nearly hit the snow. “Dinah and Blake are?!”

“Ooh! N-n-n-no,” Olivia quickly sought to correct, “Dinah is… doing Shayne, and Blake has her, well… She has BOB.”

“Who is Bob?” Natalia inquired, curiosity in her eyes. “I didn’t know she was seeing anyone.”

“Never mind,” Olivia replied cautiously. “It’s best if we don’t travel that road again today,” she muttered, almost under her breath.

“I found my sticks, Mommy,” Emma announced triumphantly, holding them up high, as she trudged back toward them in the snow.

“Awesome, Jellybean!” Olivia proclaimed. “Let’s get your snowwoman some arms here, so we can put her hat and scarf on before she gets cold.”

“Mommy!”

“What?”

“She’s always cold. She’s a Snowwoman,” Emma reasoned.

“You mean she’s not gonna wanna come in to sit by the fire with us?” Olivia asked, feigning shock.

Emma giggled at her Mommy. “No, Silly, she’ll melt.”

“Oh…”

Natalia smiled as she watched Olivia playing with their little girl, her heart nearly melting. _You are so amazing with her_ , she thought, sighing contentedly.

Emma poked the sticks into the sides of their snowwoman, and grinned. “She’s ready for her hat and scarf, now,” she announced.

“Well, let’s see what we can do about that, Jellybean,” Natalia said, scooping the little girl up into her arms.

Emma squealed, and reached out, plopping the purple hat on the snowwoman’s head, as Olivia wrapped the scarf around her neck, draping it over her makeshift wooden arms. With that, Natalia dropped Emma back onto her feet, the snow crunching under her boots, and the three of them stood there, hands on hips, surveying the finished product.

She was a short snowwoman, not much taller than Emma in stature, and her accessories weren’t exactly conventional, but then again, neither was their family. Regardless of her eccentricities, though, she was their snowwoman, the first one they had created together as a family, and they were proud of her.

Natalia pulled her camera out of her coat pocket then, announcing it was picture time.

“Do you have that thing glued to you or something?” Olivia asked, baffled by the fact that Natalia always seemed to have her camera within arm’s reach.

“Hey, you never know when a great photo opportunity will present itself,” she contended. “So, I’m always prepared.”

Olivia conceded the point, and they set the camera up to take a group shot. After several silly poses, they declared their snow day excursion a success. And they left her then, standing proudly in the front yard of their farmhouse, as Emma grabbed one hand from each of her Mommies, and they turned toward the back door, heading in for hot cocoa and S’mores by the fire.

* * *

**_The Farmhouse of Love—Monday, February 16, 2009, 5:15 p.m. Central Standard Time_ **

Emma alternately took sips of her hot cocoa, and munched happily on her S’more, successfully getting chocolate all over her face, as Olivia went about preparing one of the tasty treats for Natalia.

Natalia watched quietly, marveling at Olivia’s show of patience, as she held the marshmallow over the flame, toasting it to golden perfection. “You’re really working on that patience thing, aren’t you?” she said, more an observation than a question. 

Olivia smiled at her. “The perfect S’more demands patience,” she tutored. “You want the marshmallow to be warm and gooey in the middle, but not burnt on the outside,” she explained. “Just like this,” she announced, pulling the perfectly toasted marshmallow from above the flames.

She grabbed a graham cracker from the tray, and set a piece of the chocolate bar on top with her spare hand. “And that takes time and determination,” she said, placing the marshmallow on top of the chocolate, covering it with another graham cracker.

Next, she used her thumb and forefinger to press the graham crackers together, expertly pulling the metallic skewer from the marshmallow. “And looky here,” she said playfully, handing Natalia her first S’more. She leaned back against the couch then, waiting for her reaction. “I still can’t believe you’ve never had S’mores,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Natalia took her first bite, and began to chew slowly, her facial expressions changing as the individual textures and flavors registered on her taste buds. “Omigosh!” she exclaimed, as the flavors blended together, teasing her palate. “This is amazing!”

Olivia laughed softly. “Told you so,” she teased.

“Where did you learn to make these?!” Natalia mumbled, mouth full of sweet, crunchy, gooey goodness.

“Bonfires on the beach when I was a kid,” Olivia proudly informed, reaching for another marshmallow, spearing it with the skewer, as she prepared to make more of the gooey, chocolaty treats.

“Oh, well that sounds like fun,” Natalia smiled.

“And we make them at summer camp, too!” Emma interjected.

“Yeah, summer camp, Natalia,” Olivia said, with a teasing lilt to her voice.

Natalia shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Olivia’s eyes widened in disbelief, “You never went to summer camp, never went camping with your family?” 

“I grew up on the South side of Chicago, Olivia,” Natalia replied blankly, that ‘what were you thinking?’ expression on her face. “The only summer camp we had, involved the concrete jungle,” she said sarcastically. “Never been to the beach, either,” she added, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well, we’ll have to remedy that,” Olivia declared with a grin. “Whaddya say, Em, wanna take Natalia to the beach?”

“Yeah!” Emma exclaimed through her mouthful of gooey mess, as she jumped up and down excitedly. “I love the beach!” she announced, rolling her eyes dramatically, as she wiped chocolate from her face with the sleeve of her new pale pink sweatshirt.

Spying the chocolate mess that had been expertly deposited on Emma’s sleeve, Olivia rolled her eyes. Natalia noted the gesture, and smiled at her. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pre-treat it and it’ll be fine,” she assured.

Olivia offered her an appreciative smile. “So the beach it is,” she announced.

“Can we go during my Spring Break, Mommy?” Emma asked, dark eyes dancing with excitement as she waited for her mother’s reply.

“Sure, why not,” Olivia answered, setting the plan in stone with the utterance of three little words.

“Can we go to San Cristobel?” Emma asked excitedly. “Can we? Can we?” she begged, bouncing up and down.

“Ohhh…” Olivia said, slanting her head to one side, a doubtful look on her face. “I would love to take you both to San Cristobel, but it really isn’t the place to go when we only have a week, Baby,” she explained. “Maybe we can spend a few weeks there this summer.” 

“Olivia, I can’t just run off on a vacation whenever I please,” Natalia interjected, concern evident in her tone. “I have Rafe to think about, and work.”

Olivia smiled softly. “Natalia, you have vacation time from the Beacon,” she reminded, “and even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” Natalia quietly countered, eyes focusing on the remainder of the S’more in her hand. “And besides, I don’t have the money to just throw away on an unnecessary trip.”

Not wanting to damage Natalia’s pride, Olivia selected her words carefully. “I get comp nights at other hotels, as a courtesy. You know, from one hotel owner to another. So, I never pay for lodging when I travel,” she explained. “And Josh still allows me access to the Lewis corporate jet, if I buy him a drink, and talk real nice to him,” she winked, “so we don’t have to pay for airline tickets, either. All that’s left, really, is food, and you’re buying that, whether we’re here, or basking in the sun on some gorgeous beach somewhere. So what’s the difference?”

Natalia mulled over Olivia’s reasoning, silently acknowledging that Olivia had effectively quelled most of her concerns. “What about Rafe?” she quietly reminded.

Olivia set her S’more aside, and reached out, taking Natalia’s hand in her own. “I know it’s difficult for you to think about doing something nice for yourself, while Rafe is stuck in that horrible place,” she said, gently acknowledging Natalia’s feelings. “But that kid of yours, loves you, Natalia, and I’m certain he would be happy to know you’re doing something special, to take care of yourself for a change,” she quietly encouraged. “And if you’re worried about him being lonely, we can ask Frank to drop in on him a few times while we’re gone. Frank cares about him, and I know he’d be happy to help.”

Natalia studied her with a scrutinizing eye. “Have you been planning this discussion in your head for the past few weeks or something?” she inquired suspiciously, “because within less than five minutes, you’ve managed to dispel every one of my concerns, with completely reasonable responses. It’s almost like they were rehearsed.”

“I take it that’s a ‘Yes’,” Olivia replied triumphantly, grinning at her accomplishment.

Natalia smiled. “That’s a yes,” she confirmed, with the nodding of her head.

“Then it’s settled. Spring Break on Martha’s Vineyard,” she announced happily. “I have an old friend and business contact who owns a cottage on the beach,” she smiled knowingly. “I’ll give her a call when we get to the Beacon tomorrow and see if we can have squatter’s rights for the week.”

Emma furrowed her brow at the unusual comment, and began mulling it over in her head, as Olivia grew quiet, glancing at Natalia, offering her a comforting smile. “And we’ll visit San Cristobel when Rafe comes home.”

“Thank you,” Natalia said quietly, her lips forming an appreciative smile.

Olivia nodded her head knowingly, and squeezed the hand she still held in her own.

“What’s s… squa…squarter’s rights, Mommy?” Emma finally inquired, her tongue tripping awkwardly over the newly-learned phrase. 

Olivia laughed softly at the botched attempt to parrot her. “Squatter’s rights,” she began, saying the words slowly so that Emma had an opportunity to learn, “is an old law that basically means taking someone else’s property into your possession, and refusing to give it back for such a long time that, it actually becomes your own property,” she explained.

“Isn’t that sorta like stealing?” Emma asked, scrunching up her nose, as she processed the concept through an eight-year-old’s filter of right and wrong.

Natalia smiled brightly, feeling peacockishly proud of their little girl for her astute assessment.

Olivia noticed the smile, and grinned at her partner knowingly, before continuing her explanation. “In most respects, yes, Jellybean. It’s definitely wrong to take someone else’s property,” she affirmed. “But in this case, I wasn’t really meaning that we would just take the cottage without asking. It was a figure of speech,” she attempted to clarify.

Emma furrowed her brow again, indicating that she was pondering her mother’s words. “What’s a figger of speech?” she inquired next.

Natalia covered her mouth with her fingers, holding back the giggle that threatened to bubble out, as she watched Olivia search for further explanation, without losing her temper. Olivia noted the gesture, and shot a playfully cautionary look her way, then grinned.

“Well, Baby, a figure of speech,” she repeated, again saying the words slowly to provide another learning experience for her daughter, “is when you use a word or phrase for something other than its normal meaning. Like when we talked about those butterflies in your tummy,” she said, hoping the explanation would strike a chord with the little girl. “Now, there weren’t really butterflies in your tummy, were there?”

“No,” Emma replied, shaking her head back and forth.

“No,” Olivia patiently parroted, shaking her head in similar fashion. “In that instance, the word butterflies, was used to explain the funny feeling in your tummy, right?”

“Right,” Emma confirmed, with a resolute nod of her head.

“Well, that, my little Jellybean,” Olivia said, scooping the little girl up in her arms, tickling her playfully, “is a figure of speech.”

Emma giggled, squirmed and squealed, as Olivia continued to tickle her. Then, finally breaking free of their game, she sprinted off toward the stairs.

“Hey, where ya goin’?” Olivia inquired, a pouty expression on her face.

“I’m gonna go play with my DS,” Emma announced, turning quickly, and bounding up the stairs.

“Don’t run up the stairs,” two motherly voices sang in unison, echoing their daily, sometimes hourly, reminder to the energetic little girl.

“Sorry, Moms,” came the sing-song reply from the middle of the stairs, as she slowed her canter to a walk, and continued the trek to her room.

Scooting closer to Olivia in front of the couch, Natalia offered her a quiet smile. “I love how patient you are with her,” she quietly acknowledged.

“She’s the one area in my life where I have complete patience,” Olivia quietly recognized. “I’m working on a few others, though. I promise.”

“I know,” Natalia said softly, appreciation in her voice for Olivia’s efforts. “She brings out all the best in you.”

Olivia smiled softly. “So do you,” she quietly acknowledged, draping an arm around Natalia’s shoulder, as she leaned over, kissing her slowly.

When their kiss ended, Natalia leaned her head against the Olivia’s shoulder. “This has been such a perfect day,” she sighed contentedly, fingers languorously toying with Olivia’s hand.

“Yeah, it has,” Olivia agreed, a contented smile playing on her lips. “And from the sound of it, we may have another one tomorrow.” 

Natalia shifted her head, looking up at Olivia. “Are we supposed to get more snow tonight?”

“No, but I talked with Greg a little while ago, and he said that while the highways are looking a little better, the back roads and the streets in town are still a snow-packed, ice-covered mess,” she explained. “So, I called Doris…”

“Olivia…”

“I know,” Olivia quickly rejoined, raising a cautionary hand in an attempt to quell an argument. “I know you don’t really like her, but…”

“It’s not that I don’t like her, Olivia,” Natalia interrupted, “It’s that she has a reputation for being rather seedy, and I just worry about the influence she has over you.”

Olivia turned to face her. “Look,” she said quietly, gently halting the finger-play by taking Natalia’s hand firmly into her own, “I haven’t always liked her either, but the truth is, Doris Wolfe has actually done a lot to help me make sense of what I feel for you,” she explained, willing Natalia to understand. “She’s never gonna be my best friend, ‘cause that distinction belongs to you,” she smiled, “but she is a friend, and quite frankly she’s a powerful contact, one who can help us get Rafe out of that hell hole.”

Natalia searched Olivia’s face. “Nothing is benign with you, is it?” she said, more a statement of certainty than an inquiry.

Olivia thought seriously for a moment, then nodded her head affirmatively. “Very little is benign with me,” she answered candidly. “Other than with you and our kids, nearly every decision I make is calculated in some way. Every move is made with a specific outcome in mind.”

“Isn’t that exhausting?”

“No, it’s responsible,” Olivia countered, shaking her head. “I don’t think it’s wrong to plan ahead, Natalia. I think it’s prudent to know the answer, before you ask the question, or to understand the risks, and plan accordingly, or even to take an opportunity that presents itself, and use it for what it’s worth,” she expounded.

“I didn’t take Doris into my confidence with an agenda already in place. She just happened to be at the right place at the right time, and we came to an understanding of sorts. Formed an alliance, albeit a rather unexpected and unusual one,” she conceded with the shrug of her shoulders, “but it works for both of us. And while I’m not perpetuating a friendship with her just to further an agenda, I’m also not going to squander an opportunity to do something to help Rafe.”

Natalia nodded her head understandingly. “Alright, I won’t give you anymore grief about Doris,” she relented with a slow sigh. “Just be careful with her, okay? I don’t want you to get tangled up in her web.”

“I won’t. I promise. I don’t wanna be tangled up with anyone, but you,” Olivia said quietly, a shy smile teasing at her lips, as she leaned over, kissing Natalia again.

“Good answer,” Natalia grinned against Olivia’s lips, as their kissed ended. “So, what did she have to say about road conditions?”

“Oh, basically that, because of state-wide budget cuts, they can’t authorize extensive overtime, so the road crews are working at limited capacity.”

“So, the roads are just gonna stay a mess?”

“They’re focusing on the highways right now, and Doris said it may be another day before they get things cleared up in town,” Olivia informed. “Kind of pathetic, considering it’s the State Capital, but what can we do?” she asked, arching an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in those jade eyes, as she gently touched Natalia’s face with her fingers.

Slowly, she traced Natalia’s lower lip with her thumb. “Guess we’ll just have to suffer through another day here, all alone, with no outside distractions,” she whispered, replacing that thumb with the brush of her tongue, followed by a deep, lingering kiss.

Natalia moaned into their kiss, as she slowly gravitated toward Olivia, planting herself firmly between Olivia’s legs. Olivia bent her leg, settling the anterior side of her knee against Natalia’s back, as they sat in front of the fire. 

And when their kiss ended, Natalia smiled and settled into Olivia’s arms, leaning against her chest, as Olivia raked tender fingers through long, raven curls.

“Well, what about The Beacon?” Natalia inquired, concern etched in her voice. “We can’t just keep sitting here. What if something goes wrong?”

“Relax,” Olivia smiled against Natalia’s cheek, drawing out the word dramatically, as she tightened her hold on Natalia. “Things are fine at The Beacon,” she assured. “Greg decided to stay there last night, after he heard the weather predictions. And he encouraged several members of the housekeeping and front desk staff to stay as well, so everything is fine. He’s planning to stay again tonight, and he’ll call me with an update in the morning.”

“Wow, he really took the initiative,” Natalia recognized, sounding rather impressed. “You’re gonna owe him a big bonus,” she grinned.

“Oh, I’ll just give him those shoes,” Olivia smirked. “He’ll think he died and went to heaven.”

Natalia laughed heartily. “Yeah, he did seem rather enamored with them, didn’t he?” she said, shaking her head.

“Well, at least he has good taste,” Olivia winked. “I should take him on my next shoe-shopping spree.”

Natalia arched an eyebrow. “Now that would be interesting,” she declared.

“Wouldn’t it though?” Olivia laughed, leaning her forehead against Natalia’s temple. “You should definitely come with us. We’ll get you a pair of those thousand-dollar hiking boots,” she grinned.

Natalia rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I don’t need expensive hiking boots, Baby,” she stated. “The boots I have are just fine.”

Olivia leaned back, eyes slowly perusing Natalia’s body, as a playful grin teased at the corners of her lips. “Who said anything about needing them?” she asked rhetorically. “I just think you’d look incredibly hot in ‘em,” she winked. “Ya know, cute little t-shirt and a pair of perfectly form-fitting jeans, to accentuate your… assets,” she grinned, arching an eyebrow, “and a pair of sexy hiking boots to complete the ensemble.”

“You have a one-track mind,” Natalia grinned, arching an eyebrow.

“Ohh, you betcha,” Olivia flirted, “On the Otalia Express.”

Natalia furrowed her brow at the peculiar reference. “Otalia?” she questioned.

“Yeah, it’s my new little pet name for us,” Olivia grinned. “Cute, don’t ya think?”

“Sometimes you’re so silly,” Natalia laughed, playfully bumping her shoulder against Olivia’s chest.

Olivia smiled softly. “Not silly,” she said, shaking her head in denial. “Happy,” she quietly declared, moving closer, her mouth hovering over Natalia’s, as a smile gently tugged at the corners of her lips.

“I’m happy, too, Olivia,” Natalia whispered, claiming those hovering lips in a slow, tender kiss.

When their kiss ended, she wordlessly searched Olivia’s face, her mind silently pondering.

“What?” Olivia whispered quietly, a shy smile teasing at the corners of her mouth, as she fell under the spell of Natalia’s gaze.

“Do you ever get nervous about how different we are?” Natalia asked, searching Olivia’s eyes. “I mean, you’re Armani suits, Gucci bags, and Jimmy Choo’s, and I’m frumpy sweaters from K-Mart, and buy one, get one sneakers from Payless,” she reasoned.

Olivia smiled softly at the inverted correlation. “Why are you worrying about this, Sweetheart?” she asked. “Our differences aren’t news to either of us,” she pointed out.

“I know,” Natalia quietly affirmed. “I’ve always known we were different, but this morning really brought our differences home to me,” she explicated. 

“Yeah, we’re basically polar opposites in a lot of ways,” Olivia conceded, “but you clean up real well,” she teased. “In fact, you look downright hot in a suit. Makes me wanna… Mm…” she growled, playfully jerking her hips against Natalia.

“Olivia!” Natalia exclaimed, laughter dancing in those dark chocolate eyes. “I’m being serious,” she said quietly, nuzzling Olivia’s ear. “We’re so…”

“Yes, we’re different,” Olivia interrupted, searching Natalia’s dark eyes, “but we work, Natalia. Where I’m weak, you have the strength for both of us, and vice versa. We complement one another perfectly,” she quietly pointed out. “And ya know what?” she asked, her voice light and playful.

“What?” Natalia grinned, Olivia’s playfulness infecting her.

“I’ll probably never stop wearing ridiculously overpriced shoes,” she smiled, “And most likely, you’ll never find any use for such indulgences. But at the end of the day, does it really matter what we’re wearing? I mean, seriously, would you love me any differently, if I bought my clothes off the rack?” she reasoned. “Because I wouldn’t love you one ounce more, if you had a closet full of designer suits. I love you for who you are, Natalia. I don’t give a damn about anything else. I just wanna be with you,” she whispered, those normally piercing jade eyes softened by the depth of her emotions, as that barely-there smile played at the corners of her mouth. 

Natalia reached out, tenderly touching Olivia’s face with her fingertips, as she searched those soft jade eyes. “You know, there’s something in your voice that reminds me how much I love you, every time you talk to me,” she whispered, her voice filled with awe, as her thumb gently caressed the fullness of Olivia’s bottom lip, “But when you say things like that, you make me fall completely in love with you, all over again.” 

And with that, she covered Olivia’s mouth in a slow, deliberate kiss, tenderly imparting with her lips and tongue, all the emotions that mere words were powerless to convey.

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TBC in Chapter 4—The Letting Go…


End file.
